


The Needle and the Damage Done Drabbles

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: Depression, Drug Use, M/M, Overdose, Shooting, attempted suicide, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-02-07 14:16:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 78
Words: 71,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1902105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of prompted drabbles based on my story The Needle and the Damage Done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These drabbles are through time and several are AU's. The prompts are in the chapter summaries.
> 
> Prompt: Blaine has enough of the Glee Club.

         The baggie was burning in his pocket.  

            Blaine sat shaking in Glee Club even thought he had just gotten a hit a few hours ago. It made it a little easier to get over that no one wanted him here when he was high.

            “We have sectionals coming up!” Mr. Schue announced clapping his hands together.

            “And considering how we’ve all been slacking!” Kitty threw up a well manicured hand. “You are all slothful slackers and will never win. I mean gay emo over there has only been to this stupid club like three times in two weeks!”

            Blaine felt his body tense.

            “Seriously Blaine,” He snaps his head to the side and the world moves too slowly for him to figure out who has spoken. “You have a solo. You’re supposed to be the leader of this group.”

            “I’m supposed to be in charge! I’m supposed to have this all figured out,” Blaine exploded, surprising himself. “What do you want from me?!”

            “We want you to be here!” Kitty’s icy eyes made his blood boil.

            “Maybe I don’t want to be here,” He snapped back, getting to his feet. “If I’m that horrible of a person then you all don’t need me.”

            “Blaine,” Sam was shaking his head.

            “No, I’m done,” Blaine grabbed his things, skin crawling. “I’m going to leave.”

            He walked quickly out of the room, body shaking slightly. Blaine’s hands itched for the bag of powder in his pocket and he made a bee line for the bathroom, falling to shaky knees as soon as the stall door shut behind him.

            Shaking a small amount of powder into his palm, he quickly snorted it and fell back against the cold tile wall. His eyes slid shut as the fizzling nerves calmed and his thoughts stopped spinning.

            “Blaine?” He frowned slightly when he heard Sam call out into the empty bathroom.

            “Go away.”

            “Listen, Kitty is sorry…”

            “No she’s not.”

            “Okay…I don’t think she can feel emotions but we need you. Come back to Glee,” Ratty sneakers appeared under the bottom of the stall door.

            “No.”

            “Blaine,” Sam sighed. “We’re getting a little worried. Even Brittany is asking if you are okay.”

            “I’m amazed that bitch can notice anything around her,” Blaine mumbled as he swiped his finger through the baggie trying to get any left over powder.

            “I’m going to ignore that,” Sam’s voice was tight. “Just come back.”

            “I’m done Sam. I don’t need or want to be with you guys.”

            “You love Glee!” Sam sounded so hurt that Blaine would have felt bad if his blood was singing with the drugs.

            “I love feeling judged and ignored and used?” He snorted. “Not really.”

            “Listen dude, I didn’t know you felt that way. Come out and let’s talk.”

            “Go away.”

            “No,” Sam leaned against the stall door. “I am going to talk to you.”

            “Go away Sam.”

            “No.”

            “Get the fuck out!” He shouted suddenly, going stiff. “Get out! Get out! I’m fucking sick and tired of you!”

            “Blaine…”

            “Sam,” Blaine said in a sharp mocking voice. “Get the fuck away from me.”

            The sneakers shuffled under the door for a moment before quietly making their way out of the bathroom and left Blaine by himself.

            He wished he could care that his last friend was leaving but it didn’t seem important from how high he was flying.  


	2. Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine has nothing to look forward to or hold on to.

      Blaine blinked furiously as his car swerved slightly. He scowled as a car blared it’s horn behind him and pulled over on the side of the road.

            He leaned back against his seat, head buzzing with the hit he had taken earlier. He fidgeted as he felt his skin crawl and when he thought it was going to burst he staggered out into the chilly air.

            Taking deep breaths he carded his fingers through sweaty hair and stumbled to the bridge. For a long minute he closed his eyes and just let the icy wind sweep over him.

            Blaine held on to the railing and felt himself sway as he opened his eyes. The bridge crossed over a long drop that ended in a deep river. He watched, fascinated, by the swirling water and leaned even farther over.

            What would happen if he let go?

            He was so high he might not even feel any pain.

            No one would look for him. His parents weren’t due back for weeks. He hadn’t talked to Cooper in weeks. His “friends” were all avoiding him.

            What was he even living for? There wasn’t a boyfriend, a future husband, college, family. There was nothing. If he died to only person who might miss him would be his dealer or the guys he fucked.

            Would they even recognize his body when they found it?

            If anyone even looked?

            Blaine leaned further over and his fingers slipped slightly on the freezing banister.

            With a shuddering gasp, he hurried backwards and slipped on the snow. He grabbed the banister with both hands, heart pounding wildly as he stared at the dizzying drop.

            He had nothing to look forward to and nothing to hold on to.

            But for some reason he did not want to die.

            Maybe that was something to hold on to. 


	3. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine has his first session with his new psychologist after Gabriel offers his drugs

       “So Blaine,” The psychologist smiled warmly at him. “Tell me about why you are here.”

            Dr. Meredith Ward was a tall, beautiful blonde woman. She was dressed entirely in earth tones that matched the colors in her office and had a clipboard balanced on her lap.

            “Well,” Blaine pressed his lips together and clapped his hands. “I usually start off with something like, ‘my name is Blaine and I’m a drug addict’ and then you would say ‘hi Blaine’ and then we would awkwardly sip lukewarm coffee and nibble on like three month old oreos.”

            “Did you come here to talk about cookies and coffee?” She asked gently after a long pause.

            “No.”

            “How long have you been sober for?”

            “Six months in two days,” His smiled faded slightly and he turned to look down at his hands. “Six months and I almost ruined it all in one night.”

            “Can you tell me more?” She leaned forward a little.

            “I had this friend and I went to his place to study. He offered me some heroin because he wanted to sleep with me,” His skin crawled and he wrapped his arms around his stomach.

            “So, let me make sure I understand, this guy offered you drugs as a way to have sex with you?” She scribbled some quick notes down.

            “Yeah but I’m gay so it’s fine. I mean it’s not fine. I didn’t want to have sex with him since I have a boyfriend but when I was still on drugs I slept with a lot of guys for drugs or drug money and when I say a lot of guys I mean a lot of guys…I’m rambling. I’m so sorry, that was way too much information,” He blushed and covered his mouth.

            “Blaine, I’m a psychologist at an university,” Dr. Ward gave him a grin. “I hear a lot of very detailed stories. Nothing you say can shock me, in fact it’s a great way to say things you’ve never told anyone. Those secrets eat away at your insides.”

            “I don’t like to burden other people with my problems.”

            “You can’t take all the burden on your own,” She continued. “Did you know the average drug addict relapses thirty-two days after leaving rehab? And you have been sober for six months. Six months plus the pressure of graduating high school and going off to college. You could have easily relapsed that night. How did you feel?”

            “I wanted to do it so badly,” Tears welled up in his eyes. “I really want to do it and it scares me.”

            “It scares you how much you want it?”

            “I would have slept with him and I would have ruined everything I worked so hard for because it wouldn’t have been just once. I would have lost my boyfriend, my home, my future career. Everything. I look at that stuff and I see a future with nothing in it and I still wanted it.”

            “And you said no.”

            “This all started because I cheated on my boyfriend. I’m so used to running away from anything bad that I do it on reflex now. It’s like as soon as things get hard I do anything I can to get as far away as possible. I took the drugs to run away from how miserable I felt and I like how I feel when I run,” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

            “If you like how you feel then why did you say no?”

            “I don’t want to run anymore,” Blaine smiled shakily. “I have too much to run away from. For the first time I want to stay and fight for what I have because I can’t imagine living without it.”

            “You’re a very brave young man,’ Dr. Wade leaned forward to pat him on his knee. “You know that there are going to many more times like this. They aren’t lying when they say temptation is around every corner.”

            “I’ve made up my mind. It’ll suck and it’ll be hard but it’s worth it,” Blaine smiled. “What I have now is worth it.”


	4. Yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: AU of the Gabriel incident. Blaine says yes.

         “I’m so bored, how does a break sound?”

            “So good!” Blaine laughed and leaned back as well, stretching.

            “Great! Want a beer or something?” Gabriel pushing himself off the couch and walked to the kitchen.

            “Oh…no thanks.”

            “No? I have vodka, whisky and coke if you want to mix something?” He held up a few bottles and shook them with a wide grin.

            “Sorry I don’t drink,” He flushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

            “Oh I see,” Gabriel winked and walked over, sitting close to him on the couch, making their knees brush together. “I was just going to try to loosen you up before you know…loosening you up.”

            “Gabriel, I’m not…” Blaine squirmed backwards as Gabriel grinned and leaned forward, placing his hand on Blaine’s thigh.

            “But I have some other stuff if you really want to get the party started the right way,” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a baggie.

            “Wait, what?” Blaine scrambled to his feet.

            “Baby, I’ve seen the marks on your arms,” He nodded. “And I think you’re really hot so let’s each take a hit and…”

            “No,” Blaine shook his head sharply.

            “Blaine,” Gabriel grabbed his wrist in a firm grip. “I’ve noticed you looking at me. I can see you’re a party boy.”

            He ran his fingers along the faint scars and Blaine tried to jerk his arm away.

            “Not any more.”

            “Come on hun, once a party boy always a party boy,” He waved the baggie. “Just one hit? I have a brand new needle just for you.”

            Blaine’s mouth went dry as he stared at the powder in the bag. It would be easy. Just one quick little needle jab and he would be right back to that happy place, back to feeling warm and safe. Kurt didn’t even have to know. Maybe Blaine would even feel comfortable to touch him after a hit.

            “Okay.”

            “Really?” Gabriel grinned brightly and clapped his hands, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek. “Let me go get my stuff!”

            He scampered off to a back bedroom and Blaine leaned back against the couch, staring at the door.

            Get up.

            “Here,” Gabriel returned with a few syringes, a spoon, and a lighter. He got to work preparing the syringes and Blaine continued staring at the door.

            You can still go.

            You can stop this.

            “Ready?” Gabriel held up the syringe and Blaine’s mouth went dry when the amber liquid hit the light.

            “Yeah.”

            He rolled up his sleeves and accepted the long line of rubber to wrap around his forearm and checked his veins.

            “Fuck…I think I’ve wrecked most of them,” He scowled.

            “How about your neck?” Gabriel tapped the side of his neck and smiled when Blaine tipped his head to the side. Before he could even think twice the needle slid into his neck and he let out a sharp gasp.

            “Oh my God,” His voice came out in a rough whine as he slumped back against the leather couch. Vaguely he could see Gabriel injecting himself and then moaned as the he leaned forward to lick the mark on Blaine’s neck.

            “Mmm,” Gabriel hummed and sucked at a spot under his jaw. “I was so excited to see the marks. I totally knew you would be a good fuck high.”

            “Shut up,” Blaine moaned and twisted his fingers in Gabriel’s hair, holding him to his neck.

            “Let me make you feel good baby,” Gabriel unzipped his pants and slid his hand into them. “How long has it been?”

            “So long,” Blaine rocked his hips up.

            And he didn’t feel guilty.

            When they finished he was still pleasantly buzzed. He was laying on the couch, pants and boxers around his knees and stared up at the ceiling. He shuddered as he felt Gabriel kiss at his inner thighs.

            “I think I’m going to go,” He said airily, pushing himself up.

            “What?” Gabriel looked up.

            “I gotta go,” He stretched. “Is there any left for half a hit?”

            Blaine was distantly aware of giving the taxi driver directions to Kurt’s apartment and had to brace himself on the door jam as he knocked.

            “Blaine?” Kurt squinted slightly as he opened the door. “Why are you here? It’s so late.”

            “Who’s there?” He heard Rachel call out sleepily.

            “Are you okay?” Kurt seemed to finally see his glazed eyes and slumped posture. “Blaine?”

            “I’m good. I’m good,” He pressed forward to kiss Kurt messily.

            “Hey!” Kurt pushed him back. “What’s wrong with you?”

            “Nothing, everything is fine,” He let out a high pitched laugh and tried to kiss him again.

            “Blaine…” Kurt frowned and pushed him back. “Are…are you high?”

            “What!” He heard Rachel yelp.

            “No, of course not,” Blaine waved his hand.

            “Look at me,” Kurt grabbed his jaw firmly. “Jesus, you are high!”

            “No baby I’m not.”

            “You’re standing outside my apartment at three in the morning with a still bleeding track mark just under one of the many hickies on your neck,” Kurt’s eyes narrowed.

            “I…” Blaine leaned back, swaying and saw just how angry Kurt was. “I fucked up.”

            “I’ll say,” Kurt said tightly.

            “I’m sorry,” He whimpered, craving Kurt’s touch more than anything.

            “You got high and fucked someone,” Kurt took a step back, eyes filling with tears. “You cheated on me again.”

            “No, no I didn’t!” Blaine gasped.

            “You just admitted to it!” Kurt shouted.

            “Well you wouldn’t even touch me. You wouldn’t even look at me,” Blaine’s voice shook. “I know what you see when you looked at me.”

            “I saw someone who was putting their life together not someone who was destroying it,” Kurt hissed. “I was so proud of you. Right now, I don’t even know who this strung out, shell of a person is.”

            “Please Kurt, I’m the same person,” Blaine rolled his eyes.

            “No. You were a brave, sweet guy who I loved. You weren’t a junkie whore like now,” He spat and Blaine went stiff.

            “I’m not a whore.”

            “You just fucked someone for drugs. You fit the description,” Kurt snarled. “You cheated on me and didn’t even go home to shower before coming here.”

            “It was an accident.”

            “A car slipping on ice and hitting another one is an accident. Spilling a drink is an accident. You made the choice to stick a needle of poison into yourself and fuck someone else.”

            “Kurt…”

            “You know what,” Kurt disappeared into the apartment and returned with a box. “I got a present for your six month sobriety. So proud of you babe.”

            He slammed the door shut in his face, making Blaine stumble backwards. After staring at the door for a few long minutes he opened to box to find a long blue scarf.

            Tears stung his eyes as he pulled out the soft material and rubbed it between his fingers.

            He messed up.

            He really messed up.

            And all he wanted to do was take another hit.


	5. Meanwhile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: What happened at McKinley when Blaine was gone

_To Blaine: Hey bud where are you?_

_To Blaine: Ur missing the best glee ever_

_To Blaine: Srsly, Tina just got a solo. Ud be so proud_

_To Blaine: Blaine?_

_To Blaine: Ok I know ur mad at me. I know u have been upset lately. Im here if u want to talk_

_To Blaine: Let me know if ur ok_

_To Blaine: I’m getting worried_

_To Blaine: Are u ok??_

For the past few weeks Sam had sent text after text to his best friend. Were they best friends anymore? He didn’t even know. He stared down at his phone sadly and glanced over to the empty chair in the choir room. No one had ever wanted to sit in it and so it sat empty.

            But what the hell happened to Blaine?

            Sam nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone vibrated in his hand and glanced down.

_From Kurt: Hey do you know Blaine’s locker combo?_

_To Kurt: Are u here?_

_From Kurt: Yeah_  

            “I have to pee,” Sam said loudly and shouldered past a surprised Finn to hurry outside. He jogged down the hall to Blaine’s locker and saw Kurt leaning against the metal.

            “Hi,” The older boy smiled.

            “Where is Blaine? Is he okay?” Sam skidded to a stop in front of him.

            “Um…what all do you know?” Kurt’s worried expression made panic swell up in Sam’s chest.

            “Oh my God, does he have cancer? A brain tumor? It would explain his behavior lately,” Sam scrubbed his hand through his hair.

            “He doesn’t have cancer or a tumor. What do you mean by behavior?” The guarded look in Kurt’s eyes kept that fear swirling in Sam.

            “I mean…I told you on the phone. He’s been well…a dick. He snaps at people, skips class and he’s not himself. I know he was upset when you guys broke up but its beginning to scare me. Wait…why are you here?” Sam raised his eyebrows.

            “Can you open his locker?” Kurt asked softly.

            Sam nodded and quickly put in the locker combination before pulling open the door.

            Blaine had always been so neat. His books were lined up, the pictures were spaced evenly and everything was incredibly organized. His locker looked like a bomb had gone off. Papers were stuffed into every space and all of the pictures were ripped down, torn into pieces and crammed under the books.

            “Is he okay?” Sam asked as Kurt started pulling out papers and torn pictures of him and Blaine.

            “No.”

            Sam watched silently as Kurt tried to organize the locker the best he could. He frowned as Kurt pulled out a handful of papers with phone numbers scribbled on them.

            “What?” A glint of metal caught Sam’s eye and he reached in to pull out a small needle.

            Kurt snatched it out of his hand and stuffed it into the trash bag along with the papers.

            “Kurt,” Sam could feel his face paling. “Kurt…don’t lie to me please. I’m Blaine’s friend too.”

            “Are you?” Kurt spat, eyes narrowed. “Did you ever try to see how he was?”

            “I did! I did try. He never let us help. He pushed us away,” Sam felt like his throat was closing. “And the needle? I know he doesn’t have diabetes or whatever. Is Blaine into something he shouldn’t be?”

            Kurt stood silent for a long time.

            “He’s going to rehab tomorrow,” He whispered. “I just wanted to make sure nothing dangerous was in his locker when he came back.”

            “Oh…oh fuck,” Sam felt dizzy and stumbled backwards, placing both hands on top of his head. ‘’He’s into drugs?”

            “Heroin to be specific,” Kurt sounded weak. “He’s not doing too well.”

            “I should have tried harder,” He blinked frantically, tears stinging his eyes. “I just thought he was going through a rough time with the breakup. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to deal with him being the way he was. I knew he was hurting and I ignored it, hoping it would get better on its own. I’m the worst friend.”

            “None of us could have known,” Kurt sighed. “Hell, the only reason he is getting help is because he overdosed.”

            “How long is he going to be in rehab?” Sam swallowed.

            “Three months. He’s not allowed to have any contact with anyone the entire time,” Kurt looked down sadly at the shredded picture of them smiling before putting it in the trashcan.

            “What can I do?” Sam watched as he organized and straightened up the books.

            “Just…don’t tell anyone and be there for him when he gets back,” Kurt shrugged.

            “I promise,” Sam gave him a small smile and rubbed his slumped shoulders.

            Over the next three months rumors exploded about what happened to Blaine.

            Sam had heard a little freshman whisper to a group that she had heard that Blaine had opened an evil laboratory and was creating rabbit/lizard hybrids to try to take over the world. He had covered his smile at the serious looks on their faces.

            He also heard a hockey player laugh about how he had “finally gotten what those fags deserved and was lying in a ditch somewhere.” The detention was totally worth seeing him lying on the floor clutching his bleeding nose.

            Throughout it all Sam never said a word about what he knew.

            After three months a text made his phone buzz during biology.

_From Unknown: Hey! It’s Blaine, I got a new number. Just wanted you to know that I’ll be coming back soon_

            Sam stared breathless at the glowing screen before quickly saving the number and tapping out a reply.

_To Blaine: Hi! So looking forward to seeing my best friend! How are you?_

_From Blaine: I’m doing okay : )_


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Kurt and Blaine celebrate his six month sobriety

          “I like it,” Kurt played with the small gold pin on Blaine’s lapel. “Very snazzy.”

            “Are you going to be including sobriety pins in your latest designs?” Blaine teased, leaning forward on his tiptoes to kiss Kurt lightly. “The Narcotics Anonymous line? Twelve Steps by Kurt Hummel?”

            “Actually…” Kurt felt his cheeks burn slightly. “That’s part of your present?”

            “Wait…what?” Blaine leaned back, brow furrowed. “Present?”

            “For your six months.”

            “You didn’t have to get me anything,” Blaine gave him a small smile. “You’re already taking me out to dinner. That’s enough.”

            “Blaine,” Kurt gently wrapped his arms around Blaine’s waist and stepped close. “I am so incredibly proud of you and want to celebrate you.”

            “Are you going to pull roses out from behind your back?”

            “No,” Kurt rolled his eyes and reached into his bag, pulling out a box. “But I do have this.”

            “You’re going to spoil me,” Blaine grinned but grabbed the box and opened it. His wide smile softened and he ran his fingers over the soft blue scarf.

            “It’s just one of the reject designs from the last showing,” Kurt blushed.

            “I love it,” Blaine quickly wrapped it around his neck, snuggling into it. “It’s amazing.”

            Kurt smiled and they kissed quickly before pulling apart.

            “And now for part two,” Kurt place a notebook on the table, making Blaine groan.

            “Kurt, this is way too much.”

            “Hush you, look through it,” Kurt rolled his eyes.

            Blaine laughed and opened the notebook, looking through the designs. Every single style was unbelievably amazing. Colored pants went beautifully with the intricate shirts and tops. A wide smile spread across his face as he took in the small canaries on the collar of a shirt, the pink carnations on another, and coffee cups on a scarf.

            “Kurt these are so amazing,” He said with a smile.

            “They’re inspired by you,” Kurt’s cheeks were pink but he was smiling. “See, I put Pavarotti in there because he inspired our first kiss, the carnation is from our first prom and the coffee cups because…well…you know.”            

            “I’ve never been someone’s inspiration before.”

            “Don’t be stupid. You inspire me every moment of every day,” Kurt took his hands.

            “What’s its name? Every fashion line has to have a name right?” Blaine traced one design with his finger tips.

            “Courage,” Kurt smiled. “I’m calling it Courage.” 


	7. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Kurt and Blaine’s son finds a box full of pins and he and Blaine have a talk.

“Dad?” Benji screamed out as he walked into his fathers’s room. “Where is that sweater?”

“Did you even look or are you just shouting?” Blaine called back and Benji could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

With a grumble the sixteen year old jerked open the drawers and dug through the neatly folded clothes. He made sure to fold them back or he knew his Papa Kurt was going to throw a fit.

Grinning, he pulled the red sweater he was looking for out and jumped when it made a rattling noise. In the back corner of the drawer was a beautifully painted box.

He carefully pulled it out and ran his fingers along the slightly faded paint and opened it to see a collection of metal pins. Benji picked it up and squinted at the small writing.

_Four Years Drug Free_

Eyes wide, Benji continued digging through the box.

_Five Months Drug Free_

_Two Months Drug Free_

_One Year Drug Free_

_Nine Years Drug Free_

_Fifteen Years Drug Free_

“Did you get lost in here?” He jumped as his dad spoke up suddenly behind him. “Seriously, it’s not that hard to find. I mean…oh.”

“I’m sorry!” Benji blurted. “I shouldn’t have looked but I was curious. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Blaine had a strange look on his face.

“I can just totally forget I ever saw it.”

“No,” Blaine sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. “I wanted to talk to you about this eventually. Do…do you have any questions?”

“Um,” Benji looked down at the box full of pins. “Drug free?”

“Well,” Blaine sat on the floor next to him, wincing as his knees popped. “Did I ever tell you that you papa and I broke up once?”

“No!” Benji raised his eyebrows. His fathers were so completely in love that he couldn’t imagine them ever apart.

“I was about your age and really stupid. Kurt was off in New York and I was stuck in Lima, Ohio. I ended up…ended up cheating on him,” He winced at his son’s gasp. “It was horrible and I still regret it to this day. It was the worst decision I have ever made and I hurt him so badly. He broke up with me and I deserved it.

So, I was depressed and I hated myself. I got involved in some dangerous stuff. I was drinking heavily and it led to me doing drugs. I was really, really far gone. Then some of our friends, Sebastian and Dave, you remember them right?”

“The douche bag?”

“Yes,” Blaine laughed. “They found me and called your Uncle Cooper. He came back and forced me to come home. I was stupid…again…and snuck out. I ended up overdosing and Uncle Cooper made me go into rehab. It changed who I am. I started getting these pins for every month I was sober and then every year. Kurt and I became friends again and after I moved to New York we got closer and well, you know the rest.”

“So…” Benji twisted a pin in his fingers. “You were a drug addict?”

“I was addicted to heroin.”

“Wow,” Benji always thought his dad was the one of the most put together men he had ever known and couldn’t imagine him out of control. “So, you’re all better now?”

“Honestly, I still think about it. I still look down and even though I know the track marks are gone I can still see them. Sometimes I feel the cravings so I still go to meetings,” He was twisting his hands. “It’s still a fight but I’ve got a lot to fight for, my job, my students, your papa, you.”

“Why did you do it?” Benji winced as his father sighed. “Unless you don’t want to answer.”

“It’s fine,” Blaine shrugged. “I was in a lot of pain. I was drowning in the guilt and depression and the drugs helped me forget. It felt good and I needed to forget. I ended up pushing away my friends and family and it almost cost me everything.”

Benji sat silently and stared down at the pins.

“Next week your papa and I were going to my meeting because I’m getting my eighteen year pin,” The pride flashing in Blaine’s eyes made Benji smile. “You can come if you want? We can make an evening out of it and get dinner too.”

“I would really like to come,” Benji couldn’t fight the smile as Blaine grinned brightly.

“So, are we having circle time on the floor?” Kurt stepped into the room, looking curiously at his son and husband.

“Benji will be joining us when we go to my meeting next week,” Blaine spoke up and Kurt froze for a moment before nodding.

“Great, it’ll be nice to have the whole family go. Cooper is coming in as well,”He leaned down to kiss his son on the top of his head. “I’m glad you’re joining us Benji.”

“Me too,” Benji smiled and carefully placed all of the pins back in the box before starting to put it in the drawer.

“You know,” Kurt plucked it out of his hands. “I don’t know why we are hiding this.”

He placed it up on the dresser and smiled at it. Blaine rubbed his hand up and down Ben’s back and gave him a warm smile.

“Thank you Benji,” He muttered into Benji’s curly hair as he pulled him into a hug. “I’m so very proud of you. I love you so much.”

            “I love you too dad,” Benji smiled at him. “And I’m proud of you too.”


	8. Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Kurt goes with Blaine to his rehab group’s holiday party where he meets Carrie and Clyde

“So, I’m nervous,” Kurt squeezed his hand as they walked through the empty halls of the church.

            “Why? They’re all great!” Blaine was practically bouncing.

            “These are people who you spent your darkest times with. They know all your secrets and you became a new person with them,” Kurt rubbed his arm.

            “They won’t hate you,” Blaine gave him a smile.

            “That’s not what I said.”

            “They wont hate you,”

            Kurt let out a long sigh and they stepped into the room.

            The local chapter of Narcotics Anonymous was throwing their annual holiday party and both of them were in town. Kurt had been excited to finally meet the people who had made such an impact on his boyfriend.

            “Blaine!” A tall tattooed man hurried over to wrap him in a tight hug and a woman squealed, hopping over to hug him as well.

            “Oh my God you look amazing!” The woman grinned.

            “You both do too!” Blaine leaned back and gently took Kurt’s hand. “Guys this is Kurt. Kurt this is Clyde and Carrie.”

            “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Carrie had a bright grin on her face and Clyde gave him a small smile as well. “Blaine you have to tell me all about New York!”

            She pulled Blaine off to the side as he lit up and started talking a mile a minute. Kurt frowned and watched as his boyfriend walked over to leave him alone.

            “So Kurt, I’ve heard a lot about you,” Clyde spoke up.

            “Not very good things I’m guessing,” Kurt winced. He knew what they had to think about him, the guy who dumped Blaine and was the catalyst to pushing him into drugs.

            “Are you kidding?” Clyde laughed. “Blaine only ever sung your praises. That boy loves you so, so much.”

            “And I love him more than anything,” Kurt smiled fondly at his boyfriend.

            “He really does look so much better,” Clyde grinned.

            “He looked pretty bad when he left,” Kurt voice softened and he felt himself shiver at the memory.

            When Blaine had left for rehab he had looked like a ghost. Compared to the grinning, bright eyed boy standing next to him he had been pale and his eyes were dead. He remembered the trembling, the pain, the fear.

            “He didn’t even talk to us for the longest time,” Clyde shrugged. “Most people are like that. When people first come to a center they don’t want to get better. The fear of going through something so powerful and so painful is overwhelming. It took time, but I am so happy he got better. I’m so happy he got you.”

            “He’s not the same person he was.”

            “No,” Clyde smiled softly. “I didn’t know him before but I saw him going through trying to figure it out. I like this Blaine so much better.”

            “Me too,” Kurt couldn’t hide his smile. “I thought I was in love with him before but it doesn’t even compare to how I feel now.”

            “Well, invite me to the wedding.”

            “Oh absolutely,” Kurt laughed.

            Blaine and Carrie practically skipped over to where they were standing, matching grins bright.

            “Carrie told me that little Louis started preschool,” Blaine said and Clyde lit up.

            “I have so many pictures,” He dug through his back pocket and pulled out his phone, flipping through the pictures of a smiling little boy.

            Kurt felt the last of the unease leave him in a rush. The room was full of people who had been absolutely destroyed. Every single person had been broken down and had fought to rebuild themselves.

            He had never really appreciated how strong Blaine was. He had literally fought for his life and had won.

            Maybe Kurt hadn’t been there for that fight but he was here now to help him continue fighting. 


	9. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine and Kurt go to visit the Hudmels and Blaine sees Burt and Carole for the first time since rehab.

           “I might be changing my mind,” Blaine looked nervously at the house in front of them.

            “Blaine, we spent almost an hour picking out your outfit. My dad and Carole really want to have family dinner with you,” Kurt gave him a smile and rubbed his back. “But if you really don’t feel comfortable with it we can leave.”

            They had finally picked out a pair of dark slim jeans and a deep green sweater. After going through most of his closet, he had finally okayed Kurt’s decision.

            “I know it’s just…”

            “Just?” Kurt raised his eyebrows.

            “The last time Carole saw me I was shaking and puking my way through withdrawal. This was of course after I told her all about my sleeping with every sketchy man in Lima. You dad must still be pissed about the breakup and Finn…is Finn,” Blaine sighed and covered his face with his hands, sinking down in the car seat.

            “Okay it might be a little awkward…”

            “You think so too!” Blaine shot up. “Then let’s just go!”

            “Here’s what’s going to happen,” Kurt leaned forward and intertwined their fingers. “We’re going to go in, they are going to love you because they already do, we’re going to eat Carole’s delicious food, and we are going to have a nice family dinner.”

            With a heavy sigh Blaine pushed the door open and they walked into the house.

            “Hey! We’re here!” He ran his back along Blaine’s tense back.

            “Welcome home!” Carole called out from the kitchen and Burt glanced up from where he was sitting on the couch.

            “Hi there Blaine,” He said, giving the boy a tight smile.

            “Hello sir.”

            “And here I thought we had gotten past all of this sir crap,” Burt’s smile widened slightly.

            “Well that was before I broke your son’s heart and became a junkie,” The weak teasing tone vanished and his eyes widened in horror. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I just…I feel really uncomfortable and awkward so I try to be funny but it just comes out as…uncomfortable and awkward.”

            “Blaine, don’t worry,” Burt pushed himself out of the chair and walked over. “We’re still….still good.”

            “Oh good,” Blaine’s entire body relaxed and he gave Burt a small smile.

            “So…I’m going to go see if Carole needs help,” Kurt pointed towards the kitchen and hurried off.

            “Come on Blaine,” Burt picked up the beer bottle he had been drinking and sat back down. “Watch the rest of the game with me.”

            Blaine hesitated for a moment before sitting on the end of the couch as far away from Burt as he could get. The older man smiled and nodded, taking a long drink before starting.

            “Shit, I didn’t even think about the beer. Is that okay? I can go pour it out if it’s making you uncomfortable,” He frowned and half got out of his chair.

            “No, it’s fine,” Blaine shrugged. “I’m really doing much better now. It’s fine.”

            “Good. You have no idea how worried we were about you,” Burt glanced over at him.

            “I honestly don’t know why,” Blaine mumbled, looking down at his hands.

            “Because you’re part of this family. I was afraid that I wouldn’t see you and Kurt get married or adopt like a million little babies. That’s where I always saw myself. I saw myself visiting my grandchildren on your little fancy decorated house in Vermont or something,” Burt shrugged.

            Blaine sat silently, tears welling in his eyes.

            “I think what I’m trying to say is that I never thought you were a bad guy Blaine. You went through some stuff and now you’re working to make yourself better. I’m proud of you,” He leaned over to pat Blaine’s leg who gave him a watery smile.

            “Thank you,” He whispered.

            “So, the food’s done,” Kurt walked back into the room. “Finn is already sitting down and you…”

            His voice faded when he saw Blaine’s red rimmed eyes and he frowned. With a grunt, Burt pushed himself off the chair and walked into the room, patting Blaine on the shoulder as he went.

            “Hey, are you okay?” Kurt grabbed Blaine as he started walking into the other room. “You look upset.”

            “No it’s just…just…God I wish my dad was like yours,” Blaine’s eyes shone with tears.

            Kurt just smiled and gave him a quick kiss before pulling him by the hand into the dining room. Finn was sitting at the table and gave Blaine a small smile. The two had been awkward around each other for weeks after Blaine returned to McKinley but finally they had rekindled their friendship.

            “Thank you for joining us for dinner Blaine,” Carole placed a bowl of pasta in front of him.

            “Thank you for having me,” He smiled up at her.

            “Any time,” Carole leaned down to press a kiss on the top of his head. “We’re always happy to have you.” 


	10. Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine and Kurt meeting Clyde’s son in the future.

           “God it’s so cold!” Blaine bounced from foot to foot as they walked down the sidewalk, each one holding one of Ben’s mitten covered hands.

            “Burr!” Ben piped up and Blaine grinned down at the five year old.

            “It’s not that bad,” Kurt shrugged but still winced at the frigid wind.

            “Then you stay here and Ben and I will go get hot chocolate,” Blaine scooped their son up in his arms and hurried to the stand with a cheer from Ben. Kurt couldn’t help smiling at his husband and leaned back against a lamp.

            “Hi honey,” A high pitched voice startled him. “You look lonely.”

            “My husband is right over there,” Kurt said stiffly, not turning to look.

            “The more the merrier,” The boy stepped into Kurt’s eye line and his heart dropped.

            The boy looked so heart achingly young. His shaggy blonde hair fell into desperate brown eyes. He was wearing skin tight jeans and a tight t-shirt with a thin jacket.

            The wide, despairing eyes with the dark circles and the faint twitches and shakes were all too familiar.

            He looked just like Blaine did that day he saw him.

            “What’s your name?” Kurt asked softly and hope kindled in the boy’s eyes.

            “My name is Angel,” The purr was broken by his teeth chattering.

            “Your real name.”

            “It’s Louis,” The boy wrapped his arms around his stomach. “I hate to be rude, but if you don’t want…”

            “Hey Kurt, who’s your friend?” They both spun around to see Blaine holding a cup of hot chocolate in one hand and his son’s hand in the other.

            “This is Louis,” Kurt nodded to the boy who’s eyes were huge.

            “Blaine?” Louis said quietly. “Blaine Anderson?”

            “Well, Anderson-Hummel now,” Blaine frowned. “I’m sorry do I know you from somewhere?”

            “Um…well…” The boy blushed when recognition filled Blaine’s eyes.

            “Oh my God, you’re Clyde’s son,” He jumped and handed the hot chocolate to him. “You must be freezing!”

            Louis’s trembling fingers wrapped tightly around the hot cup.

            “That means you have to be fourteen or so,” Kurt said slowly and Louis ducked his head. “What are you doing out here?”

            “Um…”

            “We live right down the street. Come in and warm up,” Blaine took the boy’s elbow and led him to their apartment. “We can get you into something warm and get you something hot to eat.”

            “Thank you,” Louis’s body sagged with relief.

            They hurried him into the apartment and soon he was wrapped in a warm blanket in front of the fire.

            “Where is your dad?” Blaine asked softly, sitting across from him.

            “He relapsed when I was eight,” Louis whispered. “It got really bad for a long time and last year he overdosed and died. I moved out here and well… it wasn’t what I expected.”

            Kurt rubbed his husband’s back when Blaine took in a shaky breath.

            “And on the street?”

            “It’s so bad but it’s how I got money when I first got here and I just stayed that way,” Louis wiped the tears on his cheeks. “I’m so, so sorry.”

            “It’s alright,” Blaine gave him a trembling smile. “You must be tired.”

            Louis gave a timid nod.

            “I put some warm pajamas in the guest room,” Kurt stood. “How about you go get some sleep and we will get you when dinner is ready. Take a shower if you want.”

            “I can’t tell you how thankful I am,” Louis stood slowly.

            “You’re safe here,” Kurt led him into the guest room and quietly shut the door behind him. When he walked back into the living room he saw Blaine watching Ben playing on the floor with tears in his eyes.

            “I can’t believe Clyde would do that,” Blaine whispered. “He loved Louis more than anything.”

            “It happens,” Kurt sighed and sat down next to him.

            “What if it happens to me?” Blaine let out a trembling breath. “What if I relapse and Ben’s life is ruined? I can’t stand the idea of him ever looking at me with disappointment.”

            “That’s not going to happen,” Kurt reached over to pull his husband’s head to rest on his shoulder.

            “It could. I try so, so hard to be a good father,” Blaine’s voice cracked.

            “You are a good father,” Kurt gently wiped tears from his cheeks. “You’re more than that, you are a good man. Remember that we are a team. We work through this together.”

            “Thank you,” Blaine squeezed his hand.

            “So what about Louis?”

            “I can’t stand the thought of turning him in somewhere,” Blaine sighed. “He’s been let down by so many people.”

            “So he stays here,” Kurt shrugged.

            “What?”

            “You care about that boy,” Kurt rubbed his back. “He’s been through some horrible stuff and you can relate. I think you both need to help each other.”

            “Have I told you that you are so amazing and I love you?” Blaine grinned, tears flashing in his eyes.

            “Only a few times today,” Kurt laughed and kissed Blaine’s forehead. “Don’t forget that you’re a good person.”

            “Only because I married one.” 


	11. Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Can you write something in the Needle and the Damage Done verse where Benji’s friends try to pressure him into smoking/doing drugs and he talks about it with his dads?

            Benji wasn’t really a party guy but when the hottest girl in junior year asked him to go with her he wasn’t stupid enough to say no.

            So now he was standing in the corner of the living room, sipping on some horrible punch from a plastic cup and trying to follow what Adrianna was saying about her latest haircut. He was pleasantly buzzed and didn’t even care that Adrianna was incredibly boring.

            She was just so hot.

            “Hey!” Matt, the host of the party and one of his fellow baseball team members, grabbed his shoulder. “Do you two wanna go to the basement? Get away from the crowd up here.”

            “Fuck yes,” Adrianna grinned, taking his hand and pulling him down the stairs. Benji was incredibly proud of himself for making it down the stairs being as drunk as he was.

            He coughed at the amount of smoke in the air and felt his eyes water. A group of kids were sitting in a circle, leaning against furniture and turned towards the newcomers.

            “I hope you losers saved a hit for me,” Adrianna took a seat, waving over Benji.

            “Hit?” He asked, sitting down next to her.

            “Mmhmm,” She took an offered pipe. “Crystal sweetheart and it’s good shit this time.”

            She took a long inhale from the smoke, blowing it up into the air and sighing before offering it to her.

            Clumsily he took it before it could fall to the ground and stared dumbly at it. Just the weekend before he had gone to his father’s pin ceremony and had sat through a NA meeting. The memory of the look in his father’s eyes as he got his pin was the encouragement he needed to hand over the pipe and stand up.

            “Where the hell are you going?” Adrianna asked, scrambling to her feet as well.

            “I’m going home,” He shrugged.

            “Hey!” Her face twisted into something ugly as she grabbed his wrist, squeezing her too long nails in and jerking him back. “Do you know I could have asked anyone to this party and I chose you? Let me tell you Benji, I think you’re hot and if you sit down and not complain for the rest of the night I’ll blow you.”

            “I don’t need anything from a crack whore,” He snapped back, shoving her arm off and hurrying up the stairs as she started shouting.

Benji’s heart pounded in his ears and he still felt dizzy and incredibly tipsy but pushed past all of the party goers. The cool air from outside was a welcome relief and he welcomed the chill the entire walk home.

            Staggering into the house, he locked the door behind him and hurried into his fathers’s room.

            “Dad?” His voice came out almost like a whimper and tears sprung to his eyes. “Dad?”

            Blaine mumbled and blinked awake.

            “Benji?” He yawned. “It’s so late. Are you just getting home?”

            The soft sob completely woke him up and he sat up, seeing his sixteen year old trembling and crying.

            “Hey, hey,” Blaine took his son’s trembling hand and pushed Kurt awake.

            “What’s wrong?” Kurt scrambled to turn on the light.

            “I’m so sorry!” Benji sobbed, curling into himself as they pulled him to sit on the bed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

            “Here,” Kurt handed him a glass of water that had been sitting on the bedside table and he gulped it down.

            “Have you been drinking?” Blaine frowned at the smell and the way his son’s eyes were glazed.

            “I’m sorry,” Benji whimpered.

            “Oh Benji,” Kurt sighed and rubbed his back. “Are you hurt? What happened?”

            “They had drugs,” He curled in further on himself when he felt both of his dads stiffen. “And I was really drunk.”

            “Benji…” Blaine’s voice was tight and scared.

            “I said no! I said no! I didn’t do it!” Benji shook his head frantically. “But I know that you were my age when you did it and I got really, really scared.”

            “But you said no,” Fresh tears streamed down his face at the relief in his father’s voice.

            “Yeah…can I sleep in here tonight?” Both of his dads nodded. After forcing some more water into him and getting a trash can he fell fast asleep in his fathers’s bed.

            “Up and at ‘em,” A fast food bag of breakfast tacos was dropped on his stomach and Benji took deep breaths, trying not to throw up.

            “Don’t touch me,” He moaned.

            “Your dad has already threatened to blast music through the house,” Kurt sat on the bed next to him.

            “Papa please,” Benji mumbled. “I don’t feel good.”

            “Eggs and grease will help.”

            “Nothing will help,” Benji sighed. “I’m going to die.”

            “Did I ever tell you about the time your dad got drunk at your Aunt Rachel’s party when we were in high school?” Blaine’s gasp from the door made Benji finally open his eyes.

            “Kurt no!”

            “And we played spin the bottle…”

            “No!”

            “And the bottle landed on…”

            “Kurt!” Blaine tackled his husband and tried to cover his mouth with his hands. Benji laughed and sat up, taking a taco out of the bag.

            “And he kissed Aunt Rachel and was convinced he had a crush on her,” Kurt shouted as he twisted away.

            “Until she kissed me when I was sober and I realized that girls are gross,” Blaine flopped down on the bed next to Benji, sticking his tongue out at Kurt.

            “You’re a little biased,” Benji smiled and took a bite, realizing how hungry he was.

            “True,” Blaine shrugged. “Because then your papa started wearing all these tight pants and I never looked at a girl ever again. Especially those gold pants…you know the ones.”

            “Gross,” Benji rolled his eyes.

            “I still have them,” Kurt teased.

            “You’re going to make me throw up!”

            The next morning was Monday and while the hangover was gone Benji’s stomach still turned with nervousness.

            He took his tray in the cafeteria and walked to where his baseball buddies usually sat only to see them all watching him with dark eyes and Adrianna and her fellow cheerleaders giggling.

            “I think you should go sit with your fellow glee losers,” She pointed to the glee club who watched him with wide eyes. Despite the teasing, Benji loved being in glee and with his fathers’s encouragement stayed in.

            “I always sit here.”

            “Pussies don’t sit here,” Matt replied.

            “I’m sorry?” Benji frowned, taking a step back.

            “You can’t just blow us off like you’re better than us and then sit with us,” Josh, another teammate laughed.

            “Maybe the faggotness from his daddies rubbed off on him,” Adrianna said nastily.

            “Don’t talk about my dads,” Benji scowled, dropping his tray off on the glee table before turning back.

            “Is that why you didn’t want to do anything with me?” Adrianna’s eyes flashed and the other boy’s eyebrows rose as if shocked anyone could refuse her.

            “I didn’t want your diseased mouth on my dick if that’s what you’re talking about,” Benji’s chest tightened and her jaw dropped.

            “Hey man,” Matt stood and glared. “You’re my best friend so I don’t want to punch you but don’t disrespect her or any of us.”

            “Disrespect you all? I’m sorry if I didn’t want to get high with you in your basement,” Gasps rung from all around them and Matt’s glare darkened. “If I have to do drugs to remain your friend then I guess I’m not your friend.”

            “Fuck you man,” Matt shoved him. “Since you’re insisting on being a fag you can let your daddies teach you how to suck a dick.”

            That did it.

            Fifteen minutes later Benji was sitting in the principal’s office nursing a split lip. He did feel a little better knowing that Matt was much worse off. The door swung open and Kurt hurried in, eyes widening at the sight of the blood on his son’s face.

            “God Benji!” He took Benji’s chin and turned him from side to side. “Are you alright?”

            “I’m fine,” He jerked his chin out of his dad’s grip. “Did they say what’s going to happen to me?”

            “You’re on a week’s suspension,” Kurt sighed. “What in the hell made you punch that boy?”

            “Nothing!”

            “Benji,” Kurt sighed.

            “They said, and I quote, if I’m going to be a faggot and not do drugs my daddies can teach me to suck cock,” Benji turned watery eyes to the ceiling.

            “Oh.”

            “Yeah,” Benji stood. “Can we go home? I’m tired.”

            “Of course,” Kurt scrambled to his feet, frowning. “I’m not angry.”

            “I am.”

            “Benji…”

            “I would do it again.”

            “You wont have to,” Kurt pulled him into a hug. “Because if those little assholes do something else to you your grandpa Burt is going to talk to them.”


	12. Pins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Could you write something in the Needle verse with the family at one of Blaine’s NA meeting and after?

           “Where’s my favorite nephew!” Cooper’s voice rang through the house.

            “Uncle Cooper!” Benji grinned and ran to hug his uncle. “I’m your only nephew.”

            “Doesn’t stop it from being true,” Cooper pressed a kiss to his nephew’s forehead. “Now where are your daddies?”

            Growing up Benji had never really known his grandparents on his daddy Blaine’s side. His grandfather had come to visit once when he was twelve and after papa Kurt had shouted for a long time he had left his daddy to cry in his room for a long time.

            He had shrunk back as his father had shouted things that he wasn’t really able to comprehend.

            All he knew was that his daddy was left in tears and locked himself in his room for hours. His grandfather had sneered at him as he walked out the door.

            Uncle Cooper had always been there though. He brought insane gifts for his birthday and Christmas and visited often since he moved to right outside the city. Benji knew that Cooper had taken care of his daddy in the latter parts of his high school and through college.

            “They’re finishing up,” Benji gestured towards their bedroom.

            “Awesome!” Cooper clapped his hands together. “I’m so glad you’re coming with us Benji.”

            Benji had been really looking forward to his daddy’s pin ceremony. It was really strange suddenly having a huge part of his fathers’s past revealed to him. At first Benji had thought that learning of his daddy’s past as a drug addict would change how he looked at him but it really didn’t.

            His fathers had always been a major influence on Benji. Their courage, love, and strength was how he wanted to live his life and he honestly loved nothing more than being around them.

            Except now when they were giggling like teenagers and trading little kisses in the hallway.

            “Let me get the hose!” Cooper shouted, making Blaine groan and lean forward to rest his forehead on his husband’s chest.

            “Oh big brother,” Blaine rolled his eyes, grabbing Kurt’s hand and pulling him into the living room. “I miss you when you’re not around.”

            “I know.”

            “How are Allie and the kiddos?” Kurt asked.

            “Nate’s being a little terror and Penny is going through a phase where she’s talking in the third person. Is that normal for a twelve year old?” Cooper scrunched his nose.

            “Benji went through a phase where he only talked to us through his stuffed animals,” Kurt pointed out as he grabbed his things.

            “I remember! Margaret Thatcher Dog was very wise,” Benji nodded and Blaine laughed loudly.

            “Oh so wise,” He placed a hand around his son’s shoulders. “Shall we?”

            “Before I forget!” Cooper spun around and pulled out a wrinkled McDonald’s bag. “A sausage biscuit.”

            “Aw Coop,” Blaine grinned and pulled it out, taking a bite.

            “I don’t get it,” Benji frowned at his uncle.

            “Well, when Cooper picked me up from rehab he brought like thirty McDonald’s sausage biscuits with him. He picks me up one before every pin ceremony.”

            “How is it?”

            “Dry and gross,” Blaine said, crumbs spraying from his mouth making Kurt scowl and glare. “Want some.”

            “Nope. I’m good.”

            “Alright, let’s pile in the car,” Kurt waved them out to his outrageously huge SUV. Living outside of the city allowed him to keep driving the large car and it especially came in handy when he had to drive around the group.

            Dinner was nice. Benji felt nervous for some strange reason that he couldn’t explain. While his fathers smiled and talked to Cooper he tried to imagine what the meeting was going to be like.

            All of the movies and television shows portrayals of drug addicts just left him even more confused. He tried to imagine his daddy thinner, pale, hair wild, and with a lean hungry look in his eyes.

            All he could see was his loving, caring father.

            Whoever he had been, that person was gone now. If his daddy had been a drug addict it didn’t matter. He had always been Benji’s hero. The person he told everything to. The person to hold him when he cried. He person who loved him more than anything in the world.

            “Ready to go?” He jumped and looked up into his papa Kurt’s blue eyes.

            “Yeah.”

            They drove a little further to a small community center where a room was set up with a circle of chairs.

            “Well if it isn’t the Anderson-Hummels and Cooper!” A smiling woman walked up to them, hugging Blaine, Kurt, and Cooper. “And this young man I recognize from pictures.”

            “I’m Benji,” He smiled and shook her hand.

            “We’re heard so much about you,” She grasped his hand tightly. “So glad you could join us. I’m Carrie, the group leader.”

            “I wouldn’t miss it,” He glanced over to his daddy who beamed.

            “We have a new kid. Just out of rehab and seventeen,” She nodded over to a stick thin girl wearing an over large pair of sweatpants and sweater. “She’s nervous.”

            “I think we all were on our first day,” Blaine led the family over to a row of chairs and the rest of the group filled in.

            “Well we have a few exciting things to talk about,” Carrie clapped her hands together. “First off, one of our own is officially eighteen years sober.”

            Applause echoed through the small room and Cooper wrapped an arm around his brother’s shoulders, shaking him.

            “So Blaine, want to say a few words?” Carrie motioned to him. “Maybe talk about your journey a little?”

            “Well, for those who don’t know me my name is Blaine Anderson and I’m a drug addict,” There was soft laughter through the room. “People ask me why I still consider myself an addict if I’ve been sober for eighteen years. The answer is simple, I still think about it all the time.

            I think about how the drugs made me feel. How good it felt. When I look down at my arms I still think I can see the tracks. Sometimes late at night I lay awake beside my husband and have to ignore the itch in the back of my mind.”

            “That’s not exactly encouraging,” The girl spoke up and blushed. “Sorry…”

            “No, you’re right,” Blaine laughed. “If it stays with you forever then why should you ever stop right? Because everything else is so much better. The rush of heroin is nothing compared to the rush of standing next to your husband at the alter, or getting the call at two in the morning that your son is being born, or watching his first steps. I’m not going to lie, the rush of the drugs was amazing but it doesn’t mean anything compared to the rush of everything else.

            I think it really sunk in when my son turned sixteen. Oh, this is Benji,” He grinned over his shoulder at his son. “I see a lot of myself in him and he reminds me so much of myself at that age. It scares me. But…my parents weren’t there for me and I know we will always be there for Benji.”

            He gently took his son’s hand.

            “So yeah, I’m still struggling with it and I’m going to struggle with it my whole life but it’s worth it because I am so, so happy now,” With a small squeeze, he took his hand back.

            The girl was staring with wide eyes as the rest of the room clapped. Carrie pulled out a small box and opened it.

            “It says right here, eighteen years sober,” She handed over the pin and Blaine took it smiling. He laughed when Kurt pressed an enthusiastic kiss to his cheek.

            The rest of the meeting passed quickly, a few more people spoke before everyone was invited to eat the desserts lining the table on the wall.

            “That’s pretty cool,” The girl’s high, reedy voice made Benji jump and he spun around to see the girl. “Your dad I mean.”

            “Yeah, he’s pretty awesome,” He smiled. “I’m Benji by the way.”

            “Wendy,” She shook his hand.

            “Nice to meet you,” He glanced over to where Kurt was chastising Blaine and wiping something off his shirt with a napkin. “So…”

            “So, this is a little awkward,” She giggled. “Don’t worry, I’m not like creeping on you or anything. You are cute but my girlfriend would be pissed.”

            “Well I don’t want to make her mad,” Benji laughed. “How long have you been together?”

            “Nancy and I have been together for about a year now,” Wendy blushed. “She was the one to convince me to go to rehab. Seeing your dads is…it’s pretty awesome. I think I’ll continue coming to the group.”

            Benji smiled and looked over to where Blaine was raising himself slightly on his tip toes to press a kiss to his husband’s lips.

            “I’ll probably come too.”   


	13. Fake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Prompt for The Needle verse if you want one!- This is really vague but something with Blaine hearing/ seeing a group preform the song Rehab after he gets out of rehab. Something angsty and with Kurt if possible! I was listening to that song and just thought it would fit the verse perfectly

           “I like the costume,” Kurt spoke up from where they were standing in the snack line.

            Blaine glanced down at his red button up shirt and black skinny tie.

            “It was supposed to be short sleeved,” Blaine picked at his sleeve. “But…you know…”

            Only a month after Blaine had returned from rehab the Glee club had competed in sectionals. Kurt had fought hard to get some time off to come and watch their performance. Even though they were just friends they talked every night and Blaine was so relieved that he was there.

            “And your performance of I’m Still Standing was amazing,” Kurt piped up again as they took a few more steps.

            “Thanks,” Blaine smiled and ducked his head.

            Kurt rocked back and forth on his feet, looking up at the ceiling.   

            “And…”

            “When did we have to resort to small talk?” Blaine spoke up, getting a surprised look in return. “I mean…I love the compliments but you know as well as I do that the long sleeved shirts don’t look good. We just didn’t want my track mark scars influencing the judges.”

            Kurt couldn’t think of anything to respond with.

            “I mean…we never used to have to do small talk…” He mumbled.

            “A lot had changed,” Kurt whispered and Blaine nodded, twisting his fingers together.

            They bought their snacks and joined the rest of the New Directions in the auditorium. If any of them noticed the awkward air around the two no one said anything.

            “So, next up is…” Sam flipped through the program as he sat down. Marley smiled brightly at Blaine as she took a seat on his other side. “The Starlights?”

            “Really?” Jake laughed loudly.

            The Starlights were dressed in bright gold shirts and dresses with blue accents and all wore wide smiles.  

            “Now presenting…The Starlights!” The announcer boomed and the music started.

            “They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no!” The lead singer belted and Blaine felt his smile freeze on his face. “Yes I’ve been black but when I come back you’ll know, know, know.”

            “I ain’t got the time and if my daddy thinks I’m fine. He’s tried to make me go to rehab, I won’t go, go, go,” A girl sang from the back.

            The dancers on the side spun away and picked up large stuffed needles, spinning around and dancing with them. Kurt had stiffened and his eyes narrowed at the twirling dancers.

            “What the fuck?” Sam hissed as they pretended to inject them into each other, making ridiculous facial expressions.

            “He said ‘I just think you’re depressed’ This me ‘Yeah baby, and the rest,’” The dancers passed the needles to each other. “They tried to make me go to rehab I said no, no, no. Yes I’ve been black but when I come back you’ll know, know, know!”

            Some of the members of the audience laughed as the dancers went through the line and pretended to shoot up. Blaine felt like the skin on his arms was crawling and his chest felt tight.

            “I don’t ever wanna drink again, I just, ooh, I just need a friend,” The main singer sang again, caressing the needle. “I’m not gonna spend ten weeks. Have everyone think I’m on the mend!”

            Without a word, Blaine pushed himself out of his chair and tried to get out into the aisle. He tripped a little over Jake’s long legs but managed to get out and hurried down the aisle, ignoring the calls of his name.

            His heart pounded wildly and his chest tightened painfully. Mindlessly, he shoved through the crowd in the lobby. All he could see where those cartoonish grins and looks of ecstasy as they pretended to shoot themselves up.

            The huge fake needles touching their arms.

             _The needle sliding into the used vein._

Them exaggerating their shudder and falling back.

             _The shiver that always went through him as the heroin flooded his veins._

Them passing the plush needles back and forth.

             _Taking the needle with trembling hands from Ben who leered at him._

“Blaine!” Kurt jogged up and took his shoulders.

            “I’m okay,” He gave him a shaky smile.

            “No you’re not,” Marley’s eyes were wide with concern as she and the rest of the glee club hurried up to them.

            “I just…” He wrapped his arms around his stomach.

            “Hey!” A member of the Starlights stormed up to them, furious glare marring his handsome face. “What the hell?”

            “Excuse me?” Sam raised his eyebrows.

            “Were you trying to distract us? What was up with your whole team storming out of the auditorium?” The boy snarled and the rest of the Starlights came up, looking equally angry.

            “Hey asshole,” Kurt snapped. “You were making a joke out of a very heavy topic. That was fucking insensitive and downright disgusting.”

            “Well,” The boy looked a little taken aback. “I mean it was a joke. We kind of wanted to act like junkies…”

            “Excuse me?” Kurt’s face darkened. “You don’t know them. You don’t know the shit they’ve been through. I know they didn’t suffer through it to have tactless monsters like you mock them. How dare you try to make a parody of their pain. And a bad parody at that.”

            The Starlights member bit his lip and looked around at the New Directions members that were glaring darkly.

            “That’s your cue to leave asswhipe,” Ryder growled.

            The Starlights slunk off, shooting looks behind them as they went.

            “Well…they sucked so we don’t even need to worry,” Finn glared at their retreating backs. “Let’s all go back to the stage. They will be announcing the results soon.”

            “Can I stay out here?” Blaine asked softly, keeping his arms wrapped around his stomach. “I really don’t want to go back in.”

            Finn gave him a warm smile and nodded. As soon as they turned the corner Blaine let himself slide down the wall and buried his face in his knees.

            He could feel Kurt sitting down on the floor next to him.

            “You shouldn’t sit on this floor in those pants,” Blaine mumbled. “They were probably expensive.”

            “They’re knock offs,” Kurt said back. “Don’t tell anyone though.”

            Blaine couldn’t fight the smile that spread across his face.

            “What are you thinking about?”

            “Nothing,” Blaine whispered.

            “Don’t do that,” Kurt said softy. “Don’t shut me out.”

            With a heavy sigh, Blaine leaned back against the wall and turned to face him.

            “Is this how it’s always going to be?” He turned his face up towards the ceiling. “The memories? The flashbacks? People making fun of it? It’s just…not fair.”

            “It’s not,” Kurt reached over and gently held his hand.

            “It’s like nothing is going to ever let me forget,” Blaine eyes filled with tears. “And I hate it.”

            Without saying anything Kurt lay his head on Blaine’s shoulder.

            “And the winners are…New Directions!” Boomed from the auditorium.

            “Hey, you won,” Kurt smiled at him.

            “Yeah,” Blaine whispered.

            “And those assholes lost,” Kurt squeezed his hand. “Don’t you think that’s kind of symbolic?”

            Blaine shot him a long look.

            “Triumph over evil and whatever?”

            “Really Kurt?” Blaine felt his mouth twitch with a smile.

            “Absolutely,” Kurt grinned back. 


	14. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine has an accidental run in with a group of addicts who are not as easy to avoid as he’d thought. Somewhere along the line there is a showdown in which Benji is hurt while trying to protect his father who just wants Benji to get away from the scene. It is Kurt who is left to pick up whatever pieces are left.

         “Seriously dad?” Benji pulled the collar of his coat up tigher around his ears. “You avoided buying a Christmas present until six at night on Christmas Eve? I’m sure papa would understand.”

            “Do you know your papa Benji?” Blaine glanced over. “If I don’t get him that exact perfect scarf I am scared to find out what he will do. Even if I have to drag you to six stores in freaking Columbus.”

            “I just wanna go home and eat Grandma’s pumpkin pie,” Benji whined.

            “Hush you,” Blaine steered his sixteen year old son down an alley, heading towards the last shop of the night. “Once we get this we can go back…”

            “Don’t move,” A shaky voice startled them both and they spun around to see three people, one holding a gun on them.

            “Benji I need you to go to the car,” He tried to ignore his son’s startled look.

            “What?”

            “No! No one moves!” The thin man holding the gun shouted. “Give us everything in your wallet.”

            “Listen,” Blaine held up his hands. “I understand how you feel. I used to be an addict as well but I got help. Let my son go and we can talk.”

            “Give us your money,” The girl snapped before going back to biting her nails.

            “I don’t have any money,” Blaine was gently pushing Benji away.

            “Liar!”

            “Please, let my son go. I’ll help you,” Blaine’s voice shook.

            “Dad no,” Benji shook his head.  

            “Go to the car,” Blaine snapped at his son.

            “No.”

            “Here,” Blaine stepped in front of Benji and held out his wallet. “Take this. I don’t have any cash just put the gun down.”

            “I need cash,” The man with the gun spat, and the two women behind him were fidgeting restlessly. “Now.”

            “I don’t have any,” Blaine stepped back, pushing Benji as he went.

            “You’re lying!” The man shouted and took a few more steps, gun shaking wildly.

            “Dad,” Benji gasped.

            “You’re okay. It’s going to be okay.”

            “Give it to me now,” The man’s eyes flashed.

            “I don’t have any.”

            It all happened so fast. Benji grabbed his father’s shoulders firmly and pushed him hard to the side. Then he found himself flat on his back struggling to take a deep breath.

            “Benji!” He turned his head to the side, seeing the addicts running away out of his peripheral vision. “Benji!”

            He blinked a few times and finally locked eyes with his horrified father.

            “Oh my God!” Blaine was scrambling on his hands and knees in the reddening snow.

            “Dad?” Benji’s voice cracked as he stared at the red snow in blank horror. “Oh God…are you hurt? Did he shoot you?”

            “Shh,” Blaine shushed him and pressed his hands down on Benji’s stomach making him let out a sharp cry and arch his back.

            “Dad?” His vision blurred and he tried not to panic. “Daddy?”

            “God please,” Blaine was shaking like mad, scrambling for his phone with bloody hands. “You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.”

            The numbness was quickly replaced by searing pain and Benji choked back a sob.

            “Yes please!” Blaine gasped into the phone. “I’m in an alley behind the Urban Outfitters in downtown Columbus. My son has been shot.”

            “Daddy?” Benji tried to swallow around the metallic taste in his mouth.

            “Shh baby please,” Blaine sobbed, pressing down on the wound again. “You’ll be okay.”

            “That hurts,” Benji hissed between gritted teeth.

            “You’re alright!” Blaine pressed harder.

            “Daddy stop!” Benji tried to squirm away.

            “Benji please,” Blaine shook his head. “Fuck! Stop bleeding!”

            “Dad,” Benji blinked a few times, noticing that tears were running down his father’s cheeks. “Don’t cry. Why are you crying?”

            Benji’s vision went black as sirens got closer and closer.

 

            “Finally!” Kurt sighed, picking up the cell phone as soon as he saw Blaine’s name flashing on his cell. “Where are you two?”

            “Kurt,” He heard Blaine sob and his smile vanished.

            “Blaine? Baby? What’s wrong?” Burt glanced up from where he was reading the newspaper, frowning.

            “Oh my God,” He could hardly understand Blaine through his heavy sobs.

            “Slow down,” Kurt tried to sooth but his heart was pounding. “Blaine!”

            “Benji was shot,” Kurt’s hand shot out to steady himself on the wall, not noticing that both Burt and Carole were watching him now.

            “What?”

            “There were three…they shot him. He’s in the fucking emergency room. They were taking him to surgery,” Blaine began to hyperventilate again. “You have to come. Now.”

            “Where are you?” Kurt felt himself start to shake.

            “Ohio State Wexner Medical Center,” Blaine said faintly.

            “I’m on my way,” Kurt hung up and turned to his parents. “Benji was shot. He’s at Wexner Medical Center.”

            “I’m getting my keys,” Burt grabbed the keys and all but pushed Kurt out the door as Carole called Finn to tell him.

            It was almost a blur to the hospital. Kurt’s heart was pounding so hard he was sure that it was going to burst out of his chest. He couldn’t hear his parents’s questions over the rushing in his ears.

            The horrible slow motion feeling stopped abruptly as soon as he saw Blaine in the emergency waiting room.

            Blaine’s face was tear streaked and there was a smear of blood on his cheek. His new coat was covered in red and he was shaking all over.

            “Blaine?” Kurt choked out and instantly Blaine flung himself into his arms.

            “Oh my God,” He sobbed and clung to his husband. “Kurt, oh my God.”

            “What happened?”

            “We were held up by gunpoint,” Blaine scrubbed at his face, smearing the blood a little more. “The man was shaking and I was trying to stand in front of him. Benji pushed me out of the way and he just hit the ground.”

            Kurt blinked away tears and held on to the violently shaking Blaine.

            “And he was bleeding everywhere,” Blaine’s voice got higher and higher as he spoke, panic seeping through into the words.

            “Come on boys,” Burt took both of their elbows and helped them sit down.

            “They were addicts,” Blaine covered his face. “I tried to make sure he was protected but he pushed me out of the way.”

            “Benji is a very brave young man,” Carole said softly, trying to keep the worry out of her voice.

            “It should be me,” Blaine was shaking all over.

            “Don’t say that,” Kurt took his hand and squeezed it tight.

            “I should be in there. Not our son…not our son who has never done anything wrong. Fuck Kurt, I’m covered in his blood,” He sobbed harshly. “God…our boy might die. Our son might die and it’s my fault.”

            “It’s not your fault,” Kurt wiped his own tears.

            Without another word Blaine put his face in his hands and sobbed. Kurt couldn’t stop from pulling Blaine into his shoulder and they clung to each other as they cried.

            Benji was Blaine’s biologically. When they were deciding on who would be the donor they had chosen Blaine since Kurt had a cousin who shared a lot of physical characteristics and had volunteered to be their surrogate.

            Kurt couldn’t be prouder of the young man his son had grown into. He was smart, talented, funny, charming…everything Blaine had been in high school. Their son was so understanding and wonderful.

            And he could die today.

            “I’m sorry,” Blaine sobbed into his chest.

            “For what?”

            “I made him go out with me. I made him walk around with me because I wanted to get something for Christmas,” He was shaking. “If I had just let him go home like he wanted.”

            “Blaine…”

            “I mean, what kind of fucked up karma is this?” He snapped angrily. “I fuck up my life and my son pays for it?”

            “This isn’t anything you did,” Kurt shook his head and Blaine jerked away from his hold.

            “It is Kurt,” He snarled. “I might have killed out son.”

            “No!”

            Blaine scowled and stood, walking towards the door with his arms wrapped tightly around his middle.

            “Don’t you fucking do this!” Kurt shouted, noticing that thankfully his parents had left to get coffee. “Don’t you dare shut me out. Don’t do that.”

            “I don’t know what to do,” Blaine curled in on himself again.

            “I don’t either Blaine,” Kurt covered his mouth with his hand, trembling. “I hate just sitting and waiting for news but I can’t do this without you. I need you here.”

            “Where do you think I am?” Blaine held out his arms.

            “You’re back to where you were,” Kurt stood up, holding both of Blaine’s shoulders. “I need you here with me.”

            Blaine bowed his head and nodded.

            “So, we wait,” Kurt pulled him into a hug.

            Two hours later they were curled up on the uncomfortable chairs sipping on lukewarm coffee. Carole and Burt tried to keep the miserable parents’s spirits up but both Kurt and Blaine just stared at the door with worried eyes.

            “Mr. Anderson-Hummels?” A doctor called out, stepping into the room, and they both hurried over, gripping each other’s hands tight.

            “Yes, that’s us,” Kurt nodded, eager for news.

            “I am Dr. Rowlins, Benji’s doctor,” He gave them a tired but warm smile. “Benji is just finishing up in surgery with my colleague Dr. Fellows. He did wonderfully and will be moved to the ICU shortly.

            The bullet went through his liver which caused him to lose a lot of blood. We were able to easily fix the damage to his liver and have given him a blood transfusion. He will be okay.”

            Blaine’s knees gave out and he sobbed in relief.

            “He’s a lucky young man,” The doctor smiled. “Now, I understand that this was the result of an attack. Have you spoken to the police?”

            “I did,” Blaine nodded. “When can we see him?”

            “He’ll be in ICU soon and we need to wait for a bit for the anesthesia to wear off,” Dr. Rowlins scribbled something in his notes. “He’ll be out of it and in pain.”

            “I need to see him,” Blaine was trembling.

            “I’ll send a nurse to tell you as soon as possible,” The doctor placed a warm hand on their shoulders, waving to Burt and Carole.

            Blaine sunk into a nearby chair, covering his face with his hands.

            “Thank God,” He sighed heavily.  

            “He’s going to be okay,” Kurt laughed sharply and tears filled his eyes again.

            They waited impatiently until a smiling nurse came in and told them that Benji was waking up from his anesthesia and they were able to come back.

            “Go on,” Burt smiled, happy tears in his eyes and they didn’t need any more encouragement to follow the nurse to where their son was laying on the hospital bed, fast asleep.

            Blaine’s hands fluttered over their son’s body before gingerly resting on his hand. He could see his husband mirroring his motions on the other side but his entire focus was on Benji.

            Their son had never even had the flu. They had considered themselves incredibly lucky to have a child that had never needed to go to the hospital for anything.

            And now he was lying in a bed after a gunshot to the abdomen.

            “I’m sorry,” Blaine whispered.

            “Blaine…this isn’t your fault,” Kurt said back softly.

            “I know,” Blaine scrubbed a hand through his messy hair. “I know but…our son is in the hospital and I should have been able to protect him. I’m his father…that’s my job.”

            “He’s not five any more,” Kurt glanced up. “I mean…he’s practically a grown man now.”

            “He’s still our baby,” Blaine gently stroked the back of his son’s hand and smiled softly. “And I saw him as a little boy when I was putting pressure on his bullet wound.”

            “Blaine…”

            “He called me daddy,” Blaine looked up, tears in his eyes. “He only does that when he’s really upset. He’s only said it like three times in ten years.”

            “Sir?” A young nurse walked up and gave Blaine a gentle smile. “I have some wet naps and an extra shirt if you would like them.”

            “What?” Blaine frowned, confused.

            “Um…”

            “The blood Blaine,” Kurt spoke up and Blaine’s stomach turned as he realized he was still covered in Benji’s blood.

            “Thank you.”

            Three hours later Benji slowly blinked awake. He coughed, confused by the soreness in his throat and the throbbing ache in his stomach.

            “Benji?” He squinted slightly to see his fathers’s worried faces hovering over him. “Sweetheart? Are you awake?”

            “What?”

            “Benji?” A man he didn’t recognize hurried over. “How are you feeling?”

            “What happened?”

            “You were injured. How do you feel?” The man he decided was a doctor was checking some of the monitors and Benji’s eyes flicked around to see his dads hovering anxiously in the background.

            “My throat hurts,” He coughed and gasped in pain as it jarred something in his stomach. “Oh…and my stomach…”

            “We will get you some water,” The doctor glanced up to the nurse who rushed off to get a cup of water. “Now, you and your father were attacked. You were shot through the abdomen but…”

            “My dad!” Benji tried to sit up, trying to shake off the dazed feeling. “Is he okay? There was blood and a gun…”

            A soft sob came from his side and he turned to see Blaine covering his mouth with a trembling hand and tears streaming down his cheeks.

            “Dad,” The rush of adrenaline left instantly and he fell back on the pillows. “Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine,” Blaine stepped forward and gave him a shaky smile. “I’m fine thanks to you.”

            “What happened?”

            “You are still a little out of it from the medication we have you on. How about you sleep for a bit and we can talk when you wake up,” The doctor smiled warmly and before he could even answer Benji was fast asleep.

            When he next woke up it was to see his Uncle Cooper looking through his phone.

            “Who is Grace?” His uncle asked as soon as he noticed that Benji was awake.

            “What?” Benji frowned.

            “Someone named Grace has been blowing up your phone with texts,” He raised his eyebrows. “Is she…”

            “Don’t look through my phone!” He gasped, trying to stretch to get the phone without pulling his stitches. “Uncle Cooper!”

            “She says ‘I’m really worried about you Benny’” A wide grin spread across his face. “Aw, that’s cute!”

            “Uncle Cooper!”

            “Don’t worry, I wont look any more,” He grinned and placed the phone on the bedside table. “I made the mistake of snooping through your dad’s phone once. I learned a lot of things about your fathers that I never wanted to know.”

            “Where are they?” Benji glanced around, noticing that they weren’t anywhere nearby.

            “Your poor dads haven’t eaten or slept in like two days,” Cooper leaned forward. “I think your grandparents were going to force feed them and make them go to sleep. Your Uncle Finn was helping as well.”

            “Oh,” With a deep breath, Benji gently touched the wound on his stomach. “Ouch.”

            “You scared the shit out of everyone,” Cooper said gently. “I mean…I think my brother is having a constant panic attack.”

            “They would have killed him,” Benji felt his eyes well with tears. “They would have shot and killed him.”

            “Benji,” Cooper sighed after a long silence.

            “I would do it again. I would do it even if I meant that I would be worse off,” He swallowed. “Because my dad deserves it. He’s worked so, so hard to get the life he has and he struggles every day. I feel like…I haven’t done anything to earn…anything.”

            “Blaine works hard to make sure you’re happy,” Cooper smiled. “I know you feel like you haven’t earned the right to live…which is crap by the way…but your dad went through hell to make sure that you never had to earn anything. He has never done anything for himself in his recovery. It’s all been for you. Every second of his recovery has led to you.”

            Benji sat silently, staring at his hands.

            “It would kill your fathers if they lost you,” Cooper said seriously.

            “Hey!” Blaine stepped into the room, carrying a styrofoam box and grinning brightly. “You’re awake.”

            “Yeah,” He easily noticed the red rimmed eyes.

            “Good,” With a groan, Blaine plopped down in a nearby chair. “Want a tater tot?”

            “Sure,” Benji grabbed one and chewed it slowly. “Where’s papa?”

            “Apparently the hospital cafeteria was confused by the idea of fresh vegetables so he’s demanding a salad.”

            “That sounds about right,” Benji lay back.

            “How do you feel?” That worry came back to his father’s eyes.

            “Achy,” Benji shrugged and winced a little. “It’s not too bad.”

            “So the police might want to talk to you about that night,” Blaine was fidgeting with his wedding ring. “They found the people that did it.”

            “You weren’t hurt at all?”

            “No,” Blaine twisted the ring faster. “I’m fine.”

            “Dad…”

            “I just want you to know that I still see you as that little five year old. It’s still strange to me to realize that this amazing, brave young man is my son,” Blaine smiled at him. “I’m so very proud of you. It was a  stupidly brave thing to do…but I am proud of you.”

            “Love you dad,” He reached a hand out and Blaine squeezed it.

            “And you can go home in four days if everything looks good,” Blaine grinned, handing him another tater tot.

            “And chicks dig scars,” Cooper pointed out. “Grace’ll go crazy.”

            “Who’s Grace?” Blaine grinned as Benji blushed. 


	15. Relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine has a relapse after the shooting (trigger is up to you!) and Benji is the only one who realizes something is up. Bonus points for elaborating on Kurt’s reasons for panicking when Blaine tries to ‘block him out’.

           Three days after they got home from Ohio Kurt went back to work. Despite Benji insisting he was fine Blaine had called the school he taught at and explained that because of family reasons, he was going to have to not teach for the Spring semester.

            “I’m not a baby,” Benji grumbled as Blaine helped him up the stairs.

            “You’d rather go up these stairs on your own?” Blaine raised his eyebrow and got him into bed.

            “Well…no,” Benji sighed and pulled his blanket up over his chest.

            “How are you feeling?”

            “Really sore,” He winced and placed a hand to his healing wound. Without another word, Blaine handed him two pills and a glass of water.

            “I’ll just be right downstairs if you need me,” He smiled at his son and ruffled his curly hair.

            “I’ll just be sleeping,” Benji mumbled, eyes already drooping.

            “Still.”

            As quietly as he could, Blaine crept downstairs and grabbed his coat. He felt like he was drowning and was desperate for air.

            Blaine stepped into the chilly night and just started walking. His hands were balled into fists and pressed deep into his pockets. A ball of anxiety hung just below his ribcage, reminding him that his injured son was sleeping at home.

            “Hi sweetheart,” A woman’s sly voice made him jump and he stumbled backwards. “You look lonely.”

            He was in an alley which already was making his throat tighten. The woman was middle aged, skinny, and grinning at him with yellowed teeth.

            “I’m not,” He mumbled.

            “Come on baby, I can make you feel real good,” He eyes flickered around him.

            “Sorry,” He shrugged. “You’re really not my type.”

            “Oh, you’re one of those gays aren’t you?” The woman relaxed back against the brick wall. “That’s fine. I might have something else that is your taste.”

            She held up a small baggie, shook it, and grinned when  his eyes remained fixed on it.

            Benji was at home.

            Benji was passed out because of his pain medication.

            Benji had been shot trying to save him.

            “Honey?”

            But…but he just wanted to forget the feeling of red blood seeping onto his freezing hands.

            He wanted to forget how his son had whimpered and called him Daddy.

            “How much?” He whispered an the woman smiled, showing all her yellowed teeth.

            Stumbling home, Blaine was hardly able to keep his eyes open. For the first time in days he actually felt under control. No more worrying. No more fear.

            “Hey!” Kurt jumped up off the couch as he stepped back in. “Where were you? I tried calling you like ten times.”

            “I…I just needed some time to myself,” He whispered, leaning against the door frame. Kurt’s eyes softened and he nodded.

            “I was just scared,” Kurt ran his hands through his hair, messing up the perfect style. “Just…don’t leave Benji all alone when he’s all drugged up.”

            “I’m sorry,” Blaine took a step forward and took his hands, giving him a huge smile. “Sorry.”

            Kurt just laughed and leaned in for a kiss which Blaine instantly deepened. With a surprised noise, Kurt leaned back

            “What got in to you?” Kurt laughed.

            “Nothing,” It was almost worrying how easy the lying came. “I just really want you.”

            “Blaine…”

            “Please Kurt,” Blaine squeezed his hands. “It’s been so, so long.”

            “Benji is right upstairs,” Kurt glanced up as Blaine’s slightly trembling fingers trailed along the buttons of his shirt, undoing them one by one.

            “And passed out on pain meds,” Blaine leaned forward and kiss along his jaw. “Come on Kurt. I need you. I need you to fuck me.”

            “God Blaine,” Kurt groaned and Blaine grinned as he felt him nod. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

            “Can’t wait,” Blaine slid to his knees and unbuttoned his pants, taking Kurt’s cock into his mouth in one move.

            It had been so long since they last did this. Raising a child and working had left them both exhausted so when they did have sex it was quick and hushed in the middle of the night.

            But having Kurt gasp and dig his fingers into Blaine’s shoulders reminded him how much he missed this. He missed Kurt staring down at him like the was the sexiest thing in the world. He missed hearing Kurt’s gasps. He missed this feeling of pride swelling his chest.

            Of course…he also missed the feeling of the fire spreading through his veins.

            “Blaine, stop, stop,” Kurt panted, pulling him off.

            “What? Why?”

            “I’m not eighteen anymore love,” Kurt let out a breathless laugh. “If I come now I wont be able to fuck you tonight.”

            “Then lead us to the bedroom Mr. Anderson-Hummel,” He stood, wincing a little at the popping in his knees. Kurt grabbed his hand and led his husband to their bedroom where they both fell into bed kissing.

            Hours later Blaine woke in a cold sweat, shaking. Kurt was pressed tightly up against him and while the deep breaths should have been soothing it made it worse.

            Oh God.

            He had gotten high.

            Tears burned in Blaine’s eyes and he felt himself tremble. The familiar ache began in his limbs and his fingers itched for the baggie in his coat pocket.

            “Hmm honey?” Kurt mumbled from behind him and Blaine shook with a sob.

            He had sex with his husband while high.

            “Blaine?” Kurt sat up, concern on his handsome face. “What’s wrong?”

            Blaine sobbed harshly and as soon as Kurt turned him around he buried his face in his neck and clung to him.

            “Hey, hey,” Kurt soothed, rubbing his back. “It’s okay.”

            “It’s not.”

            “I messed up,” He was shaking.

            “Blaine, we’ve talked about this. Benji is going to be fine. It’s not your fault what happened,” Kurt held him tight.

            “I know,” Blaine whispered.

            Kurt could never know.

            He wouldn’t take another hit. Not one.

            Well, he would get through the stress of doctor’s appointments for Benji and the guilt from the shooting.

            Then he would stop.

~*~

            “Dad?” Benji leaned against the railing of the staircase.

            He had woken up that morning without his dad helping him which was the first clue something was off. After waiting for a while, Benji had slowly descended the stairs whimpering as his stitches were pulled.

            “Dad?” He frowned when he saw Blaine laying on the couch with an arm above his eyes.

            “Hmm?”

            “I hate to ask but I’m like…in pain here,” He felt his legs tremble and Blaine sat up, blinking slowly.

            “What?”

            “You never came up to help me downstairs,” Benji braced himself against a wall.

            “Oh shit,” Blaine ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I’m sorry Benji. I’m sorry.”

            “It’s fine,” Benji shrugged.

            “What’s fine?”

            “Leaving me upstairs,” Benji frowned, watching as Blaine swayed on the couch.

            “You’re not a toddler, you can walk down stairs by yourself,” He stood, groaning as his joints popped.

            “Except for the whole…being shot thing,” Benji couldn’t help but feel uneasy. “So…can you help me get breakfast?”

            “Sure,” Blaine walked into the kitchen and returned with a box of the organic poptarts Kurt allowed in the house and handed them to Benji.

            “Are you okay?” Benji asked, sitting down at the kitchen table.

            “Fine, fine,” Blaine shrugged, distracted. “I think I might take a walk. Hand me my coat?”

            Benji frowned but turned painfully to pull the coat off of the back of his chair and held his side as he held it out. Blaine sighed when the coat slipped out of Benji’s fingers and hit the floor. Grumbling, he snatched up the coat.

            Everything froze for a moment as they both stared at the little packet that had fallen out of his pocket and was on the floor.

            “Oh…” Blaine whispered, going dead pale.

            “Dad?”

            “It’s nothing…” Blaine shook his head but Benji had already grabbed the packet off the floor. “Just give it to me.”

            “Is this what I think it is?” Blaine winced when Benji’s voice shook.

            “It’s funny,” He let out a sharp fake laugh. “But I started using these like natural herbs and…”

            “Dad.”

            “Benji,” That same fake smile was plastered across Blaine’s face. “Just give it over and forget about it. It’s nothing.”

            “Dad,” Benji shook his head and tightened his grip on the baggie. “It’s not nothing.”

            Blaine bounced from foot to foot, biting his lip anxiously.

            “I have to go.”

            “Don’t go,” Benji begged, pushing himself out of the chair stiffly. “Please dad, we can figure this out.”

            “This isn’t any concern of yours.”

            “Dad please. Just…don’t go,” He reached out and his father flinched away. “I don’t know what’s going on but you need to talk to papa.”

            “No, no, no, no,” Blaine shook his head frantically. “He can’t know.”

            “What are you going to do then?”

            “I’ll stop! I will,” Blaine nodded, eyes locked on the packet. “Please Benji, you can’t tell him.”

            “I wont if you will,” Benji tucked the packet into the pocket of his pajama pants. “He needs to know. We need to get you better.”

            “I’m fine,” Blaine smiled. “Seriously, I’ve only done it once.”

            “Good,” Benji relaxed slightly.

            “Thank you,” Blaine leaned forward to hug him tightly, relaxing at the pained gasp. “Benji, I am so lucky you are here.”

            Benji smiled and hugged him back.

            “Can you help me to the couch?” Blaine nodded and slowly, they made their way to the couch. With a heavy groan, Benji sank down. He smiled again at his father, trying not to notice his flickering eyes or his pale face before he felt himself succumb to the pain medication again.

            “Hi sweetheart,” He blinked awake, squinted up at Kurt who was gently brushing back his hair. “How are you feeling?”

            “Sleepy.”

            “I bet,” Kurt chuckled. “Are you going to join us for dinner?”

            “Is dad here?” Benji slowly sat up, looking around.

            “No, he had to run some errands,” Kurt helped him stand and got him to the table.

            “Did he talk to you earlier?” Benji asked, sitting down at the table.

            “No,” Kurt shrugged and put a plate of chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans in front of him. “He just left as soon as I got home from work.”

            Benji nodded and stared at his plate. His dad could be running errands. He might come home and tell his papa everything. He could be getting help.

            Then, heart pounding, Benji reached through his pockets to find them empty.

            “Dad’s doing drugs,” He blurted, making Kurt stare at him with wide eyes.

            “What!”

            “This morning…he was acting weird,” Benji clenched his hands into fists on his lap. “And I gave him his coat and this little baggie fell onto the floor. I put it in my pocket and went to sleep. It’s gone.”

            “Are you sure?” The blank, expressionless expression on Kurt’s face was scary.

            “Yes.”

            Kurt’s fork fell onto his plate with a clatter and he instantly buried his face in his hands.

            “Oh God,” He let out in a rush. “This can’t be happening.”

            “I’m sorry,” Benji whispered. “He said he was going to tell you.”

            “He used to lie a lot,” Kurt looked up to the ceiling. “It’s like a reflex for him when he’s…”

            The door opened and Kurt’s face crumbled as they heard Blaine stumbling in the doorway.

            “Please go upstairs Benji,” He whispered. “Call Cooper. Tell him what happened. Ask to spend the night at his house.”

            “What? No!”

            “Don’t talk back,” Kurt snapped. “Go.”

            Benji sighed and slowly made his way to the stairs, pausing to press his hand to his side.

            “Hi!” Blaine grinned at Kurt who stood in the doorway to the kitchen but the smile faded at the dark look on his husband’s face. “What?”

            “Benji told me.”

            “Told you what?” Blaine went stiff.

            “Blaine,” Kurt’s voice shook. “How could you?”

            “Benji is all doped up on pills,” Blaine waved his hand. “He’s not really sure what he saw.”

            “Give it to me,” Kurt held out a trembling hand. “Now.”

            “I don’t have anything.”

            “Blaine give it to me or I swear to God that I will go upstairs and pack up your things,” Blaine completely froze, eyes wide and unblinking.

            “Kurt…”

            “Now.”

            Blaine dug into his pocket and handed over a half full baggie, wincing as Kurt let out a sob. Shaking, Kurt walked into the kitchen and shoved the baggie down the garbage disposal before turning it on.

            “Kurt I can explain,” Blaine said softly from behind him.

            “Did you fuck anyone else?” Kurt spun around.

            “What? No!” Blaine took a step back, looking like he had been physically struck. “How could you say that?”

            “I mean, it’s not exactly a leap,” Kurt’s eyes flashed. “With what happened last time.”

            “Kurt I would never,” Blaine shook his head wildly. “I don’t know why…”

            “Because you broke this,” Kurt grabbed Blaine’s left hand roughly, twisting his wedding ring. “We swore we would help each other. We wouldn’t lie.”

            “I…” Blaine stared at him with panic.

            “And our son found out. Our boy found you high,” He snarled, tightening his hold on Blaine’s hand. “Our son was just shot by addicts trying to save you and what do you do? Shoot up.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “You always are,” Kurt snapped, eyes flashing with tears.

            “Please Kurt, you’re hurting me,” Blaine tugged his hand back a little.

            “And last night? When we…were you high then?”

            Blaine blank expression told him everything.

            “Do you have any more?” Kurt asked.

            “No,” He shook his head, eyes pleading. “Kurt I don’t. I swear. I promise.”

            “I don’t know if I believe you,” Kurt wiped at his eyes. “Blaine, what if someone from your school found out? You would never teach again. You’re not a minor anymore, your records cant be sealed.”

            “I know,” Blaine nodded miserably.

            “I don’t want Benji in the house with you like this,” Blaine winced badly. “I don’t feel comfortable with our son here.”

            “Kurt…”

            “Why would you do this?” Kurt finally felt the tears trickle down his cheeks. “Why would you do this to yourself? To us?”

            “I don’t know if I can do this…” He whispered, hugging himself tight. “I cant.”

            “Can’t do what?” Kurt stepped forward, grabbing his shoulders. “Blaine, sweetheart, talk to me.”

            “I feel like…like something inside of me broke and I tried to piece it together with the drugs and it worked. But then it just kept crumbling and crumbling so I had to keep trying to fix it,” He mumbled and shook his head.

            “But I want to help you fix it,” Kurt took his hand. “I thought we had.”

            “I mean…you put the pieces back together,” He squeezed his husband’s hand. “You and Cooper and Benji and…”

            “And you,” Kurt nudged him a little. “You did it yourself.”

            “And when Benji was shot…it was like everything shattered all over again,” His body trembled. “And…I panicked. I didn’t know how to fix it.”

            “What do you want to do?” Kurt asked. “I mean, we can ask Cooper to stay over and I might be able to take time off of work. Do you want to go back into a rehab program?”

            “No,” Blaine shook his head. “I want to stay here.”

            “I don’t feel comfortable keeping Benji here then,” Kurt whispered and Blaine let out a sob.

            “I wouldn’t…I would never hurt him.”

            “Well, you’re not yourself when you’re…”

            “A junkie?” Blaine stepped back, pressing his hands to his eyes. “God Kurt…I messed up.”

            “Yeah.”

            “So, you’re going to sober up. You are going to stay in this house. And then maybe…maybe after a week Benji can come back,” He bit back a sob as Blaine started shaking harder. “No exceptions.”

            “Okay,” Blaine whispered.

            “You’ve done this before,” Kurt gave him a shaky smile. “You can do it again.”

            Upstairs, Benji blinked away tears from where he sat on the floor leaning against the door. He dialed Cooper’s number and held the phone to his ear.

            “My favorite nephew!” Cooper crowed into the phone and he could hear his Aunt Allie talking in the background.

            “Dad…dad is high,” He whispered and there was a long silence on the phone. “Uncle Cooper?”

            “I’m sorry I heard you,” He let out in a long gush of air.

            “Um…papa asked if…”

            “You could stay with me?” Cooper asked. “Of course. Are you alright?”

            “I don’t know,” Benji felt tears fill his eyes. “I mean I’m not hurt but…he just…”

            “I’m on my way,” He could hear Cooper having a hushed conversation with his wife for a moment before he was back on the phone. “Where is your dad now?”

            “Downstairs with papa.”

            “Good,” Cooper exhaled and Benji could make out the sound of the car starting. “I’m on my way.”

            Benji hung up and stared at the clock, counting down the minutes.

            Cooper bursting through the front door made him relax against the door and after a moment he pushed himself up. He started down the stairs slowly and leaned against the banister.

            “God Blaine,” Cooper hurried past his nephew, not even really seeing him, and grabbed his brother’s arm. “I never wanted to fucking get that phone call again. Ever!”

            “Sorry,” Blaine whimpered and Benji had never seen his father look so small.

            “I can’t believe you would do this. After everything you went through!” Cooper deflated a little and pulled his brother into a tight hug. “Are you alright? You aren’t hurt are you?”

            “No,” Blaine shook his head.

            “Allie is getting our guest room all set up and I can help Benji pack,” Cooper rubbed his back and turned to give Benji a teary eyed smile. “Let’s go.”

            “I don’t want to leave,” Benji said softly.

            “It’s just for a bit…”

            “I don’t want to,” Benji shook his head.

            “Go Benji,” Blaine whispered. “It wont be for long. Just go.”

             _“Please, let my son go. I’ll help you,” Blaine’s voice shook._

_“Dad no,” Benji shook his head._

_“Go to the car,” Blaine snapped at his son._

_“No.”_

“Okay,” Benji nodded. 


	16. Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: something with Benji on his first date and Kurt and Blaine freaking out or some good family (including Cooper) bonding time

           Benji always hated sleeping anywhere but his own bed.

            His sheets had been handpicked by his papa Kurt and were softer than anything else he had ever felt. The quilt had been hand made by his grandma Carole before he was even born and was softened by age.

            The sheets on his uncle’s guest bed were starched and stiff. The walls were painted a dark green and from where he was laying on his side he could only see the ugly print of a field of flowers.

            His phone rang and he couldn’t fight his smile as he answered.

            “Hi dad!”

            “Benji hey!” Blaine’s voice sounded hoarse. “How are you feeling?”

            “Great!” He smiled, leaning back against the pillows. “Uncle Cooper took me to physical therapy this morning so I’m pretty wiped.”

            “I bet,” Blaine laughed.

            “But I’m getting stronger. I don’t need help walking around anymore,” He lay back on the mountain of pillows. “But…how are you?”

            “I’m great, just great,” His father’s voice sounded clipped. “Tell me about your physical therapist.”

            “Her name is Caitlyn. She is super sweet,” Benji stretched a little. “She makes me work though. So are you like…hurting?”

            “Does she seem to know what she’s doing?”

            “Dad, are you alright?” Benji asked softly and Blaine let out a loud sigh.

            “I haven’t been able to keep food down. I’m freezing one moment and burning up the next,” He said in a rush. “Basically I feel like crap.”

            “I’m sorry,” Benji felt tears prick at his eyes and blamed the medication.

            “It’s not your fault.”

            “It is though,” Benji said softly. “I got hurt and…you wouldn’t have started if I hadn’t gotten hurt.”

            “I would have died if you weren’t there,” Blaine said gently. “This was not your fault. Don’t you dare think that. I made a choice, a stupid choice, but I made it on my own.”

            “But…”

            “No buts,” Benji relaxed when he heard the fond tone in his father’s voice. “You are not the reason I did what I did. I had a moment of weakness. You aren’t the reason I did it but you are the reason I am getting better. I’m just sorry…sorry that you had to see me like that.”

            “It’s okay,” he nodded, not caring that his father couldn’t see. “You know I don’t think any less of you.”

            “But I’m your father. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that,” Blaine sighed.

            “But I want to. You and papa are always talking about family being there for each other. I know that I’m part of the problem, no matter what you say, and I want to help.”

            “You already are helping,” Blaine said gently. “You have no idea what you mean to me Benji. You are my world.”

            “Love you dad,” Benji blinked back tears and heard a shaky inhale.

            “I love you too, so much.”

            “When can I come home?” Benji pulled his legs up under the sheets.

            “Hopefully by this weekend,” He perked up at that. “I really am feeling so much better.”

            “Good,”  He grinned.

            “Well, I should let you go,” Blaine sighed. “I really miss you.”

            “I miss you too.”

            “Love you son.”

            “I love you too dad,” Benji smiled and gently tapped the end call button.

            His smile widened when he saw the text he had missed.

             _From Grace: so are you home yet?_

_To Grace: Nope. I’m still at my uncle’s. I might go back this weekend!_

_From Grace: That’s awesome! How are you feeling? I’m worried about you!_

Benji felt a blush rise in his cheeks.

             _To Grace: Much better. The bullet pretty much went through with no problem so I’ll be okay. I’m just pretty sore and doing some physical therapy so I can build back strength._

_From Grace: Thank God! I was so worried! I still can’t believe it!_

_To Grace: I’m just upset I can’t be at school_

_From Grace: Everyone in Glee really misses you! Can I come over sometime? I need to spend some time with you :) I’ll go crazy if I don’t see you soon._

He sucked in a deep breath and typed out a response.

             _To Grace: Sure! I’d love to see you! Movie marathon?_

_From Grace: Sounds like a fun night! Movies and junk food! Just let me know when you get home._

“Well look at you,” He jumped at Cooper’s laugh. “No one blushes like that unless they are talking to a crush.”

            “I’m not!”

            “You kind of are,” Cooper grinned. “It’s cute.”

            Benji rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at his uncle who caught it easily, laughing.

            “Well, I just got a call from your papa Kurt and he says that you can come home on Friday,” Benji grinned widely.

            “Really!”

            “Really,” Cooper smiled. “I can help you pack tomorrow.”

            “Awesome!” Benji sat up as much as he could, smiling.

            “So let nurse Grace know,” Cooper gave him a wave and ducked out of the room to avoid another pillow.

             _To Grace: I guess I’m going home Friday! Movies on Saturday?_

_From Grace: It’s a date!_

Benji felt his cheeks heat up again and smiled.

            A few days later Benji burst through the door and instantly was swept into a tight hug by Blaine.

            “God I missed you!” Blaine leaned back and Benji was taken aback by his appearance.

            His father was pale and dark circles lingered under his eyes. Blaine’s curly hair almost seemed to droop onto his haggard, drawn face. Despite it all he still had a bright smile on.

            Kurt walked into the room, smiling at Cooper before pulling his son into a hug as well. Benji frowned when he saw how tired his other father looked.

            “You look so much better!” Kurt grinned. “You’ll be back to school in no time!”

            “Thank God, I’m so tired of just sitting around.”

            “Not tomorrow night!” Cooper sang, taking a bite of the cookies Kurt had placed on the coffee table. “Mr. Benji here has a date coming?”

            “Really now?” Blaine grinned and for a moment the sickly look lifted.

            “Oh yes, he has game,” Cooper teased. “And now he has Nurse Grace coming over to take care of him.”

            Benji bounced from foot to foot, glaring at his uncle.

            “You’re better than your dad,” Kurt said, handing his son a cookie. “Afterwe met he admitted he was in love with an employee at the GAP store. He got all the Warblers to serenade him at work with a song about sex toys.”

            “It’s not about sex toys!”

            “With a song about sex toys,” Kurt shot his husband a look. “The guy got fired and your poor dad was humiliated in front of the entire GAP store.”

            “And that is why any attempt at wooing will never go worse than that,” Blaine nodded.

            “Maybe I’m a little nervous,” Benji sank down into a chair.

            “You’ve gone on dates before. A few nice girls and that…other girl…”

            “But I really, really, really like Grace,” Benji flopped back. “Like really like her.”

            “Chances are you wont marry your high school sweetheart,” Cooper started.

            “You both did,” Benji pointed out and his father’s gave each other a grin.

            “If you like her I’m sure she’s great,” Blaine smiled at his son. “Now, I need to sit.”

            Kurt gently took hold of his husband’s arm and from where Benji was sitting he could clearly see how badly Blaine was shaking.

            “I mean…she doesn’t have to come over tomorrow if you aren’t feeling well,” He said gently and Blaine waved him off.

            “It’s fine Benji, invite your friend. I’ll just be in my room,” He smiled.

            “I’ll get out of your hair as well,” Kurt handed Blaine a steaming mug of tea and sat down next to him.

            “No talk about leaving the door open or checking on us?” Benji grinned, grabbing another three cookies. “Who are you and what have you done with my dads?”

            “Please, if you can manage to mess around with a girl while having a bullet wound go right ahead,” Blaine smirked over his cup of tea.

            “Dad!”

            “Just use protection. I’m too young to be a grandpa,” Kurt said as well, getting a glare from their son.

            Benji’s nerves only grew worse as the next day continued. While he had never shared his fathers’s love of fashion he still wanted to look nice. Unfortunately, his injury had him in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

            “I got it!” Benji struggled to get up when the doorbell rang but Kurt rushed from the bedroom to the front door.

            “Oh hi! You must be Grace!” Benji scowled a little bit as he heard his papa invite Grace in.

            “Yes sir!” He leaned a little on the wall as he walked to the foyer. “Hi Benji!”

            “Hey,” He smiled at his best friend, ignoring the way his heart picked up.

            Grace was a tiny girl with a head of insanely curly blonde hair. Her bright green eyes would sparkle every time she smiled…and she had such a beautiful smile…

            “I’m sorry what?” He noticed that both Kurt and Grace were staring at him expectantly.

            “How are you feeling?” Grace giggled and he felt his stomach flip.

            “Great! Good. Really good,” He nodded a few times.

            “He’s still a little doped on pain pills,” Kurt tipped his head towards Grace. “Well, you two can order pizza or Chinese or whatever. I’ll be back in the bedroom with your dad if you need anything.”

            “Oh!” Grace rooted through her bag before pulling out a box of chocolates. “I heard that your husband was not feeling too well so I brought these.”

            “That is so thoughtful Grace!” Kurt took them, looking touched. “Come on in, make yourself at home.”

            She smiled at them both and went to set her things down in the living room.

            “Marry that girl,” Kurt mumbled to Benji.

            “What?”

            “Marry her.”

            Benji rolled his eyes and followed Grace into the living room where she was laying out movies.

            “Thanks for coming over,” Benji settled himself down next to her on the couch. “I spent all last week playing Uno with my cousins. I was going to go insane.”

            “Yeah! Why were you staying at your uncles house?” Grace pulled out a huge bag of sour gummy worms and opened it.

            “My dad wasn’t feeling well,” Benji shrugged and pressed the play button.

            “Well I’m excited I finally get to spend time with you,” She smiled at him and he felt himself smile back widely.  

            They got through about half of the gummy worms before Grace started shifting in her seat and giving him looks.

            “So…are you still seeing Adrianna?” She asked softly.

            “No,” Benji scoffed. “Not at all. No. Nope.”

            “Really? I thought you were into her,” He could feel her body go a little stiff from where he was leaning against her.

            “She wasn’t really who I thought she was,” Benji looked down at his hands.

            “She’s a bitch,” Grace rolled her eyes.

            “I got that when she said I caught the faggotness from my dads because I wouldn’t sleep with her,” She gasped.

            “That’s horrible!” She shook her head. “Your dads are so nice! How long have they been together?”

            “Since high school,” Benji found himself smiling. “My dad was lead singer of his glee club and my papa was in a rival glee club. My papa went to spy on them and well…one thing led to another.”

            “That’s adorable,” She smiled.

            He gave her a smile back and after a moment of hesitation Grace leaned down to rest her head on his shoulder.

            “Does that hurt?” She asked, looking up at him. “Should I move?”

            “No,” He blushed and shook his head. “I don’t want you to move.”

            “Good, me neither,” She grinned and turned back to watch the movie.

            After gathering his courage, Benji rested his head on hers, snuggling further into the couch.

            “So?” Blaine glanced up from his book as Kurt hurried from the kitchen to their bedroom, a huge grin on his face and a carton of ice cream in his hands.

            “Blaine, they are cuddling!” Kurt hopped into the bed. “It is so cute I can’t even handle it!”

            “You’re already planning their wedding aren’t you?” Blaine made grabby hands for the ice cream.

            “No,” Kurt rolled his eyes.

            “Liar. You had our wedding planned right after we met,” Blaine grinned and looked at him over his reading glasses.

            “And you looked so handsome in the tuxedo I picked,” Kurt gave him a kiss. “Plus red is so your color.”

            “Please, I didn’t even hold a candle to you,” Blaine laughed, leaning his back against his husband’s chest as they lounged in bed. “So what colors?”

            “I just think with Grace’s coloring she would look beautiful against lavender bridesmaid’s dresses,” Kurt sighed. “Also, Benji with a little lavender orchid pinned to his tux? He would look so handsome.”

            “Don’t talk about our son getting married! I don’t want to think about that,” Blaine pouted and took a bite of ice cream.

            “It wont be for a long time,” Kurt nudged him.

            “He’s sixteen! You were Mr. I’m Getting Married at 21!”

            “You weren’t complaining,” Kurt ran his fingers up his husband’s side making him squirm and laugh.

            “I just don’t want our baby boy to leave,” Blaine sighed.

            “Please, like we would ever let him leave,” Kurt took a bite. “Grace and he would move in here. Their kids would run around in the backyard. They wouldn’t call me grandpa because that makes me feel old.”

            “Oh no, I want to be grandpa,” Blaine grinned. “I want all our grandkids climbing on our laps and begging for stories and stuff. I want to be the classic grandpa.”

            “You dressed like one in high school.”

            “Too far Kurt. Too far.” 


	17. Film

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: You should do a Needle and the Damage Done ficlet about someone seeing Blaine’s scars and treating him really terribly because of it. (Either at Mckinley or in the future) Bonus if he totally freaks out and talks to Kurt about not being good enough for their (future if it’s set in Mckinley) children because he’s such a “screw up”

         Blaine was practically bouncing from foot to foot as he twisted the script in his hands.

            Somehow he had landed an audition for a senior film project and it is amazing. It’s nothing like Rachel’s topless audition she had her freshman year. It’s a film about the depth of grief and the…

            Okay…maybe it was dumb.

            But it would look amazing on a resume.

            “Hey Blaine!” Todd was the director and in Blaine’s intro to Jazz class. “Come on back!”

            Grinning, Blaine stepped into the small office they had reserved for auditions. He felt himself relax and tried to force himself into an acting mindset. Unfortunately, he hadn’t had to chance to act or audition for anything since West Side Story.

            “I’m not going to lie, I’ve been really excited to see you,” Todd beamed and the other seniors working on the project smiled. “You’re monologue during class last week was…was inspired!”

            “Thanks so much! It’s an honor even being asked to audition,” Blaine grinned back.

            “Well you have the personality and look we are going with,” The redhead to Todd’s left nodded. “You can start the monologue whenever you are ready.”

            “Sure,” Blaine nodded. “It’s a little warm, do you mind if I take off my cardigan?”

            “Go ahead,” Todd was scribbling something on his pad of paper.

            Blaine unbuttoned his cardigan and placed it on a chair, feeling much more comfortable in his cream colored polo.

            “When I first…” He started his monologue and froze when Todd waved him off. “Sorry?”

            “Thank you Blaine,” Todd raised his eyebrows. “But we are going in a different direction.”

            “What?” Blaine blinked in confusion.

            “You can leave out the same door you came in.”

            “Hold on!” Blaine held up his hands. “Just two minutes ago you were raving about me. What did I do wrong?”

            “We don’t need to explain our decision. We just would rather have someone else,” The redhead said plainly.

            “At least tell me why. I can’t improve if you don’t tell me why,” Blaine felt the frustration rising in his chest.

            “I understand that you are an actor and I understand that you are going for the tragic, tortured artist thing but we don’t want to be a stereotype,” Todd shrugged.

            “That makes no sense.”

            “I hear that Leonard Young is doing a short film about a drug addicted cashier. Maybe you can go audition for that,” The girl’s eyes flickered to his arms and Blaine’s blood ran cold.

            He looked down and saw that along the insides of his arms were the dark spots of track mark scars.

            “That was a long time ago.”

            “I just…this sounds really mean but we’re on a tight schedule and don’t have time if you overdose or tweak out or whatever,” Todd shrugged, sinking into his chair.

            “I’m totally clean!” Blaine gasped. “Drug test me if you have to!”

            “We can’t take the risk.”

            Without another word, Blaine grabbed his cardigan and stormed out of the room. Furious, he wasn’t even paying attention to where he was going but wasn’t surprised when he arrived outside of Kurt’s apartment.

            He knocked furiously at the door and felt tears well in his eyes.

            “Ye- Blaine?” Kurt opened the door and instantly Blaine jumped forward and held his boyfriend close, sobbing.

            “Sweetheart,” Kurt stumbled backwards, leading him to the couch. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

            “The audition,” Blaine was able to choke out.

            “You didn’t get it?” Kurt asked, rubbing his back.

            “No.”

            “Oh Blaine,” he sighed, kissing the top of his head. “They don’t know what they are missing they…”

            “They wouldn’t even let me audition,” Blaine said hollowly. “But they did recommend me go audition for the role of a junkie in another film.”

            “…what?”

            Blaine held up his arms and Kurt let out a soft gasp.

            “I didn’t think they were noticeable. Todd said he didn’t want me to take time out of their schedule if I overdosed or tweaked out,” He shuddered as Kurt tightened his arms around him.

            “I’ll kill him.”

            “Maybe he’s right. I mean…I’m just going to be type casted my whole life,” He sniffed and wiped his eyes. “Blaine Anderson as the junkie.”

            “Sweetheart…”

            “I don’t want that. I don’t want to be part of an industry where I’m going to constantly be dismissed or worse, hired solely because of what I did,” He lay back on the couch and sighed.

            “What are you saying?” Kurt rubbed his thumb in circles on Blaine’s knee.

            “I’m saying that maybe acting isn’t for me.”

            “Don’t let the stupid opinions of one jerk make you change your life plan,” Kurt leaned against the back of the couch. “Remember how much you loved acting? West Side Story?”

            “It just feels like lying.”

            “Well…”

            “I mean…I know I’m a good actor. That’s how I was able to play the slutty whore,” Blaine rolled his eyes. “A lot of people bought it.”

            “Blaine,” Kurt took his hand and gently kissed his knuckles.

            “I just…don’t like being anyone but me.”

            “So what are you going to do?” Kurt squeezed his hand and Blaine sighed.

            “I have no idea,” He blinked furiously. “Like anyone is ever going to hire me.”

            “You are amazing,” Kurt pulled his boyfriend up to rest against him and rubbed his back as he shuddered.

            “I mean…my parents don’t want anything to do with me and just…maybe they had a point.”

            “Don’t say that,” Kurt kissed the top of his head.

            “I fucked myself over. I ruined what we had and I did something so stupid that it is going to ruin my entire life. What do I have to look forward to? Maybe a job as a janitor or a fast food place. Why would anyone want the used up junkie,” He whispered.

            “I do,” Kurt held tightly on to his hands. “Blaine, we’re all made of what we’ve done. I’m part Vogue intern, NYADA reject, cheerleader, scared kid not ready to come out to anyone. Am I proud of those parts? Not really, but they make me who I am. Now, tell me yours.”

            “Um…” Blaine twisted his hand together. “Well, we’ve seen the junkie whore part. The recovering addict. The insecure weakling…”

            “The artist, the charming warbler, the adorable guy who sings along to the goofiest songs, the man I love more than anything,” Kurt reached forward to gently cup his cheek.

            “Kurt…”

            “Blaine I’m going to make sure that you know everything I do. I hate that you think that you’re this broken person…which you’re not. At all,” Kurt stroked his thumb over Blaine’s cheekbone. “I want to prove that to you every day. So that you know how amazing you are.”

            “Why?”

            “So that when we’re married and have kids you can be their role model,” Kurt smiled as tears filled Blaine’s eyes.

            “Married?”

            “It’s kind of hard to get a nice ring on an intern’s salary,” Kurt leaned in to peck him on the lips. “But yes. When we’re married.”

            “What if I fuck up again? What if it happens in front of our kids? What if I hurt them?”

            “You wont.”

            “Kurt, I can’t be a dad,” Blaine shook his head.

            “You can and you will and our kids will love you. They will love you because you are kind, loving, charming, and so amazing. They’ll see what I see,” Kurt pulled him forward and pressed their foreheads together.

            “Yes.”

            “Yes what?”

            “When you ask, I’ll say yes,” Blaine smiled shakily.

            The next semester Blaine stepped into one of his elective classes he was required to take. The slender, smiling older professor grinned and stepped up to the front.

            “Hello students,” She said. “My name is Professor James and welcome to Intro to Music Education.”


	18. The Setting Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Drabble where Blaine sings ‘Needle and the Damage Done’

            Blaine loves to sing.

            It feels like every word, every note, every sound escapes like a bird and takes away all the bad feelings. They ride on the backs of the birds and out, far away where they can’t hurt him any more.

            And those bad feelings are constant.

            When he was lonely without Kurt he would hide in his room and sing softly, desperate to get the feeling away but they would stick to his ribs.

            It got worse and worse until he thought the feelings were taking up all the room for air. Try as he might he couldn’t claw his way to get air and he was so tired of struggling.

            When he had his first hit it was like he finally had a life raft. He could manage to pull himself above water and gasp in air, desperately filling the empty space in his lungs. But it was leaky and soon water would seep into his raft, making him fall under and fill his lungs again.

            Paul Michaels not only had a boring name but a boring life. The man was a tax accountant who wore khakis and a polo shirt that was far too tight. His wife had just divorced him and he had the house to himself.

            They were Blaine’s favorite kind of people.

            He noticed Paul blatantly staring at him as he danced and he knew why. Blaine had dressed in a black shirt with a deep v-neck. His painted on jeans were dark red and the glitter he had painted on his neck and collarbones shone in the flashing lights. Blaine had grinned at him, eyes sparkling from behind all the eyeliner.

            Blaine had grinned at him, for a moment remembering grinning at Kurt across the bar, and walked over to him making sure that his hips sway.

            “Hi,” He looked up through his eyelashes.

            “H-hey,” Paul stuttered, obviously confused as to why Blaine had approached him.

            “I saw you looking,” Blaine put a hand on his hip.

            “I’m sorry!” Paul took a step back but Blaine grabbed his wrist.

            “I liked it,” Blaine scrunched up his nose a little. “Want to buy me a drink?”

            “How old are you?” Paul frowned, looking down at the teenager.

            “Old enough.”

            Ten minutes later Blaine sipped on his cherry vodka sour and pressed up against Paul as they danced.

            “You’re…you’re really cute,” Paul said softly and Blaine felt a thrill at the way his shaking hands gripped his hips.

            “That’s adorable,” Blaine giggled.

            “I mean do you want to go on a date?”

            “How about…” Blaine stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips against Paul’s ear. “We skip the date and you give me a tour of your house?”

            “My house?”

            “More specifically your bedroom,” Blaine slowly ran his finger along the straining waistline of Paul’s khakis as the man nodded enthusiastically.

            Blaine sat patiently in the passenger seat of the man’s hybrid as he practically slobbered on him until he drove to the little modest house.

            “Do you mind?” Blaine shook the little baggie of powder as he stepped through the front door. “I just need a spoon, I already have a needle.”

            “Oh…”

            “Unless you don’t want me to do it,” Blaine shrugged. “Then I can go.”

            “I don’t want you to leave!”

            “I’ll do it quick,” Blaine stood up on his tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “When I’m high I can suck cock like a fucking hoover. I really don’t have a gag reflex.”

            Paul’s entire body shivered for a moment.

            “I’m also pretty flexible,” He grinned slyly. “So you can bend me any way you want and fuck me as hard as you want.”

            A hour later Blaine lay naked on Paul’s beige sheets and stretched, smiling when he saw Paul staring at his lean body.

            “Do you like music?”

            Blaine shrugged and took another sip from the fruity cocktail Paul had brought him.

            He let out a hoarse laugh when Neil Young started playing through Paul’s iHome and looked up at him.

            “Really? This is sex music for you?”

            “No,” Paul laughed and lay down next to him, resting a hand on Blaine’s naked hip and gently rubbed up and down his side. “I just like him.”

            “So this turns you on?” Blaine pushed him down and straddled him, kissing down his chest. “Neil Young?”

            “Maybe it’s just you,” Paul laughed and ran his fingers through his hair.

            “Good song,” Blaine nodded, closing his eyes. “If you hadn’t just fucked my ass I would have thought this was an intervention.”

            “Fuck,” Paul shook as Blaine took his cock in his hand.

            “I caught you knockin’

            at my cellar door

            I love you, baby,

            Can I have some more

            Ooh, ooh, the damage done.

            I hit the city and

            I lost my band

            I watched the needle

            Take another man

            Gone, gone, the damage done..

            I sing the song

            Because I love the man

            I know that some

            Of you don’t understand

            Milk-blood

            To keep from running out.

            I’ve seen the needle

            And the damage done

            A little part of it in everyone

            But every junkie’s

            Like a settin’ sun.”

            “Jesus Christ,” Paul was stared at him like he was the sun and Blaine felt his smile fade away.

            “Did that turn you on?” Blaine teased, leaning forward to kiss the tip of his cock.

            “You’re amazing,” He breathed.

            “Aw,” Blaine grinned at him. “That’s very flattering.”

            “No seriously,” Paul gently pushed his shoulders until he was able to sit up. “You have a spectacular voice.”

            “Well it’s not my voice I get complements for usually.”

            “Would you stop that?” The seriousness on Paul’s face made Blaine stiffen. “Why do you act like you’re just a toy?”

            “What?”

            “Blaine, you’re talented and you are going to be someone,” Paul took his hands and the intimacy of it scared Blaine. “You just need to kick this habit.”

            “I don’t want to be someone,” Blaine spat.

            “You’re so young and it’s not fair to see someone so talented fucking perverts and doing drugs,” He reached up to cup the side of his face but Blaine jerked away.

            “Like you were just a little while ago? You didn’t seem hesitant when I was on my hands and knees for you,” Blaine angrily stood up and grabbed his jeans.

            “Don’t go!” Paul scrambled to his feet as well. “Let me help you Blaine.”

            “Why? So that you’re my savior?” Blaine grabbed his shirt. “And then what? I’ll stay here with you and be your little kept boy and be so very thankful that you helped me?”

            “Because you are so special and you matter,” Blaine felt his blood run cold.

            “Fuck you,” He snarled and grabbed his coat. “I don’t need saving.”

            Ignoring Paul’s protests he stormed out into the quiet neighborhood and slammed the front door. He looked around for a bit before he realized that he was just a few blocks away from his house and started walking.

            It wasn’t long before he had to admit to himself that the trembling wasn’t because of the cold and the tears in his eyes weren’t because of the wind.

            “Fuck!” He hissed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and slid down the side of a fence to sit in the snow. “Fuck!”

            What future was there for him? Was there an end game? A goal?

            Every junkie’s a settin’ sun.

            He tried desperately to sing or even hum a tune in order to get rid of the choking feeling. The sounds just came out garbled and horrible and he sobbed weakly.

            There was a point when the life raft had so many holes that no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t patch them.

            He was sinking faster than he could swim.

            And there was no one to save him.


	19. Cooper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by tragic-we-wander (and no I’m never going to hate you for sending prompts! it only makes me love you more!!) the best thing about uncle cooper is that he notices everything, even the things Benji doesn’t want to share. The worst is that uncle cooper is that he is being shady about what Benji’s dad and papa are going through - and the phone calls he gets from his papa that are defeated & tired while his dad keeps hidden from view.

          Benji is seven the first time he hears someone says something mean about his daddies.

            They’re at the park with Uncle Cooper and Benji is laughing as his uncles chases him around the little grassy area they had just had a picnic in. His dads are both sitting on a blanket and sharing little kisses.

            “Gross!” Benji scrunched up his nose and Cooper laughed loudly.

            “Kid said it,” A young guy walking with his wife huffs next to them. “Best move your son so he doesn’t catch the disease.”

            “Excuse me?” Cooper went stiff and Benji frowned.

            “It’s pretty gross how those two fags…”

            “They’re married. They’re my brother and brother-in-law. They’re his fathers. I would walk away,” Cooper snarls and Benji presses close to him.

            The man raises his eyebrows.

            “That’s disgusting.”

            Cooper picked up Benji and stormed off. The seven year old was confused but Uncle Cooper just held him tighter until he felt safe enough to forget the man’s words.

            When Benji is twelve he gets a crush on Linda West and he’s scared.

            As strange as it seems he has no idea how to react and doesn’t want to tell his dads. He’s not sure if they would be disappointed in him for being straight and as silly as it sounds in his head he’s still scared of telling them.

            Uncle Cooper comes over with his fiancée and it’s like he knows. One look at his nephew and a slow smile spreads across his face.

            “What’s her name?” He asks while they both set the table.

            “What?” Benji tries to look innocent but blushes bright red.

            “You look just like your dad did when he met your papa,” Uncle Cooper poked him with a fork. “What’s her name? Or is it a he?”

            “Linda,” He mutters and Uncle Cooper whistles.

            “Is she pretty?”

            “Very,” He blushes again and Uncle Cooper laughs.

            “Have you told your dads?” He waggles his eyebrows.

            “No…I don’t think they…”

            “They wont care if you’re straight,” Uncle Cooper shrugs. “You should tell them.”

            And Uncle Cooper is always right.

            When Benji stutters out about his crush later that night Blaine smiles slyly and asks her name.

            When Benji is twelve he finds out that the adults in his life aren’t invincible.

            One afternoon Uncle Cooper comes over but he isn’t smiling. His face is strange and stiff and after a forced smile he goes to talk softly with his fathers.

            An hour later there’s a knock at the front door and a well dressed man with frown lines walks in.

            “Hi dad,” Blaine greets him, standing pretty far away. “You remember Kurt.”

            “Your friend from high school?” The man raises his eyebrows.

            “My husband,” Benji frowns, unused to his dad sounding like that.

            “Hmm,” The man looks around.

            “Good to see you again sir,” Kurt nods, tightening his hand on Benji’s shoulder. “This is our son Benji.”

            “How old are you boy?” The man turns dark eyes onto Benji.

            “Twelve,” He whispers.

            “Did you fuck a girl when you were a junkie?” Blaine goes stiff and his eyes flash with an anger Benji has never seen.

            “What does that mean?” Benji has heard the words whispered in school but never heard them directed with such venom.

            “Let’s go to your room,” Uncle Cooper takes his hand and pulls him up the stairs.

            “In front of my son?” Blaine’s voice shakes.

            “What was that new game you got again?” Uncle Cooper says loudly but Benji tries to strain his ears.

            “I mean, in your drugged out haze do you even remember who or what you fucked?” Uncle Cooper’s hands shook as he put the game in and handed a controller to Benji.

            “Why the hell are you even here?” Kurt snarled.

            “I heard about Benji and no matter what sinful way he was made he is still my grandson,” His grandfather says coolly as Uncle Cooper forces his car off the road on the game. “I want to know him.”

            “Now?” Blaine asks.

            “I don’t want him to become a junkie slut and a failure and further ruin the Anderson name.”

            “Get out,” Kurt snaps. “Get the hell out of my house.”

            “Benji come on,” Uncle Cooper lightly nudges him with his foot. “You pick the next track.”

            Despite being a jock on the baseball team and having to struggle to make good grades, Benji is smart. Maybe he doesn’t like learning like his dads did and class is so boring but he knows a lot.

            He sees that Uncle Cooper tries so hard.

            His uncle is always smiling and happy, bringing him little presents and hugging him tightly. Benji tries to pretend that Cooper isn’t just trying to make his childhood better than his dad’s.

            When Benji was thirteen he walked up to the house from school and sees Uncle Cooper sitting on the front steps.

            “Hey!” He grins brightly.

            “Hi,” Benji raises his eyebrows.

            “How about we go get ice cream?” His uncle jumps up and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

            “I actually have a lot of homework…”

            “It can wait,” Cooper steers him to the car.

            “Is something wrong?” Benji looks over his shoulder and sees that the curtains are closed tight.

            “Of course not,” Cooper shrugs and Benji’s heart sinks.

            “What’s wrong?”

            “Benji,” Cooper sighed. “Being a grown up is hard. And although your dads love each other so much they don’t always see eye to eye. Sometimes they fight.”

            “Are they going to get divorced?” Panic fills his chest for a moment.

            “No,” Cooper shrugs. “It’s just a silly little fight.”

            “What’s it about?” Benji looked up at him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

            “They’ll tell you when you’re a little older,” Cooper ruffled his curly hair.

            Benji nodded and frowned.

            A few months later Benji woke up in the middle of the night and walked downstairs to get a glass of water. He stifled a yawn and padded down the stairs but his dad’s soft voice made him freeze.

            “I thought maybe this would get easier,” He glances around to see his dad slumped on the couch, eyes shaded by his glasses and wearing an old NYU shirt and pajama pants.

            Benji made several aborted attempts to go back upstairs but the step squeaked. A few nights ago he had come in late and his fathers had been furious. He really didn’t need to get yelled at for being out of bed.

            “Well Jesus Cooper,” Blaine snapped, clearly upset. “No I haven’t talked to anyone, what a novel idea…I’m sorry I’m not mad at you. I just had a rough week and heard some songs and…this is so stupid.”

            Benji frowned when he heard his dad let out a shaky laugh.

            “It’s just sometimes it seems harder. School, work, Kurt, Benji. Does it get easy?”

            Hands tightening on the banister, Benji leaned forward. Had he done something? Something to hurt his dad?

            “Sometimes…and this sounds so horrible…I think about leaving. Don’t yell! It’s never a long thought but I just feel so guilty,” Blaine sighed and bowed his head. “Of course I love them. More than anything. I’m just tired.”

            Benji slowly took a few steps up the stairs, making sure that it didn’t squeak. He fell asleep listening to the soft voice of his father downstairs.

            It wasn’t until Benji was laying in the hospital watching his uncle talking to his obviously upset dads that he realized exactly who Uncle Cooper was.

            Cooper was the rock. He was the glue. He was the only thing holding the family together.

            Cooper had gotten his dad through withdrawal and rehab.

            Cooper had made sure his dad got through college.

            Cooper had been there when his grandparents threw out his dad.

            Cooper had been there for Benji’s entire life.

            Cooper was always there.

            “So, we’re going to have to spread this story around so that you are the resident badass at school,” Cooper handed him a water bottle.

            “Thank you Uncle Cooper,” Benji gave him a little smile.

 


	20. Burst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Blaine gets hurt (reason up to you) and he goes to the hospital. There they try to give my morphine and he freaks out about thinking that he’s gonna relapse, but he’s still in a lot of pain. Cue Kurt freaking out and blangst!

            “Sweetheart?” Kurt leaned over and gently pressed a kiss to Blaine’s temple. “Are you feeling better?”

              

             Blaine groaned loudly and buried his face into the pillow. They had just celebrated their anniversary a few days ago and Blaine had unfortunately gotten food poisoning. After a furious phone call to the restaurant Kurt had called into work, saying that he was unable to come in.

 

                “You should go,” Blaine mumbled into the pillow. “I’m just going to lay here and sleep…and puke.”

 

                “I can’t stand the idea of you feeling so horrible,” Kurt sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “And you’re so hot!”

 

                “Thanks baby but I really don’t feel super attractive right now,” Blaine grumbled.

 

                “No you idiot,” Kurt jumped up and returned with a thermometer. “You have a fever.”

 

                Blaine hummed as the thermometer slid between his lips and waited until it beeped.

 

                “100.4,” Kurt gave him a sympathetic look. “Maybe it’s not food poisoning.”

 

                “Now you’ll have to apologize and give back those free meals we got from your complaining,” Blaine had closed his eyes but smiled.

 

                “Yeah right,” Kurt rolled his eyes. “When you’re all better and eating that fancy veal you like so much you’ll thank me.”

 

                Blaine chuckled but his laugh quickly turned into his body jerking slightly as he tried to roll over the edge of the bed. Kurt gently held him as he retched and hummed softly until he was able to take in a breath.

 

                “Do you think you need to go to the hospital?” Kurt whispered and he shook his head.

 

                “It’s just a bug,” He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

                “Want some aspirin?”

 

                “No,” Blaine shook his head sharply.

 

                A few hours later Blaine was trying not to whimper as the pain in his abdomen got worse. Kurt was sketching at the desk on the other side of the room and he didn’t want to interrupt his boyfriend’s concentration but a groan escaped anyway.

 

                “Blaine?” Kurt’s head snapped up and he froze when he saw how pale Blaine was. “What’s wrong?”

 

                “Nothing.”

 

                “Blaine!” Kurt jumped up when Blaine gasped and arched his back a little. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

                “It’s my stomach,” He panted out, twisting his fingers into the sheets.

 

                “Here?” Kurt pressed down slightly on Blaine’s stomach and jumped back when he all but screamed. “Okay, we’re going to the hospital.”

 

                “No, no,” Blaine wheezed out. “I’m fine.”

 

                “Put. Your. Shoes. On,” Kurt snarled, handing him his slippers and coat. “I’ll call a cab.”

 

                Half an hour later Blaine sat shivering in the waiting room of the ER, covering in a blanket from home. Kurt was filling out paperwork next to him, scribbling frantically.

 

                “Mr. Anderson?” Kurt helped Blaine to his feet and held him upright when he doubled over in pain. The sweet young nurse quickly led him to an observation room and onto a bed.

 

                “What symptoms are you experiencing?” She asked, logging into a computer by his bed.

 

                “Um…I have a fever. I’ve been throwing up,” He winced badly. “And my stomach really hurts.”

 

                She nodded and typed it all in. With another kind smile she stood and let a doctor in, relaying the information to him.

 

                “How long has this been going on?” The doctor asked after Blaine had been changed into a gown.

 

                “A few days,” Kurt answered, returning to gently stroke his hair again as Blaine shook slightly. The doctor tutted softly and pressed down again on Blaine’s abdomen, nodding when the younger man shrieked.

 

                “Mr. Anderson have you ever had your appendix removed?” The doctor looked at him over his square rimmed glasses.

 

                Blaine shook his head miserably and the man smiled, patting his back. He murmured something to the nurse and returned with an IV drip.

 

                “I know you must be in a lot of pain,” He set it up before moving towards Blaine with the needle. “Let’s get you feeling better.”

 

                “NO!” Blaine scrambled backwards so fast that he slipped and knocked a few things off the tray the doctor held. “GET AWAY!”

 

                “Calm down!” The doctor held up his hands.

 

                “Blaine,” Kurt jumped forward to grab him.

 

                “Please no, no, no,” His eyes were wide and glassy and Kurt tightened his grip a little. “No medication.”

 

                “Son, you’re in a lot of pain,” The doctor took another step forward but froze when Blaine let out a high pitched wail.

 

                “Doctor…Grimes,” Kurt glanced at his name tag. “Blaine is a recovering addict.”

 

                Doctor Grimes nodded and relaxed a little, smiling at the trembling man.

 

                “Blaine, I know it’s scary but we are not going to let you relapse,” He took another step forward but Blaine jerked in Kurt’s arms. “We need to do a scan and if you move around the test could mess up. If you do have appendicitis it could burst and you could die. Now your…”

 

                “Boyfriend,” Kurt said shortly.

 

                “Your boyfriend can stay with you the entire time. We are not going to let you relapse,” After a long pause Blaine nodded.

 

                Kurt wasted no time crawling onto the hospital bed behind him and gathered Blaine into his arms and pressing a kiss to his temple when he whimpered in pain. Blaine closed his eyes tightly and pressed his face into Kurt’s neck shaking.

 

                He could tell the minute the needle slid into Blaine’s arm when he whimpered and bit down on the fabric of Kurt’s t-shirt. His body remained stiff and shaking until the medication kicked in and he started to relax.

 

                “Stop,” Blaine shook his head roughly.

 

                “You’re alright,” Kurt rocked him. “Just breathe.”

 

                Blaine’s wide eyes flickered around the room and Kurt’s heart broke at how scared he looked. Doctor Grimes gave him a smile before he started rolling the bed with both of them on it down the hall to the CT scan.

 

                An hour and a half later Kurt fought off sleep as he nursed a cup of coffee in the waiting room. Blaine had been rushed into surgery after it became obvious that his appendix was extremely inflamed, although thankfully it hadn’t burst.

 

                “Mr. Hummel!” The surgeon that Kurt had seen briefly as he kissed his boyfriend goodbye stepped into the room. “I just wanted to let you know that everything went perfect. We got that appendix out without a problem. Blaine is in the recovery room right now and you can go up if you like.”  

 

                “I can?” Kurt scrambled to his feet.

 

                “Let me show you the way,” The man waved him on. Kurt followed closely until he was led into another small room, Blaine sleeping soundly on the bed.

           

            “Let me know if he’s in any pain. He might be a little loopy from the anesthesia,” The young surgeon patted him on the back.

 

            “Kurt?” Blaine’s soft voice made him jump over and take his hand.

 

            “I’m here baby.”

 

            “Am…am I high?” Blaine’s head lolled on the pillow and it was obvious he was struggling to keep his eyes open. “Kurt?”

 

            “You’re out of surgery. The doctors said you did great,” Kurt sat down on a plastic chair. “Are you hurting?”

 

            “No,” Blaine slurred and then his eyes got huge. “Am I high?”

 

            “No you’re not,” Kurt stroked the back of his hand with his thumb.

 

            “Oh no, no, no,” Blaine whimpered and arched his back trying to move away. “I’m sorry!”

 

            “Why are you sorry?” Kurt’s grip tightened when Blaine began to sob hoarsely.

 

            “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” His entire body jerked with the sobs.

 

            “Slow down honey.”

           

            “When did I get high?” Blaine whimpered when he looked down at the IV mark on his hand. “Oh god, oh fuck! Kurt no! When did I do it?”

 

            “You’re not high honey,” Kurt took both of his hands.

 

            “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” His voice grew high and hysterical. “I didn’t mean to! Don’t leave me. Don’t. I’ll never do it again!”

 

            “Blaine,” Kurt leaned forward to kiss his still too warm forehead. “You’re very sick and you are on some medication. You’ll be okay. You’re not high on drugs.”

 

            “’m sorry,” Blaine was shaking hard. “Don’t leave me.”

 

            “I never will.”

 

            Blaine went home from the hospital two days later.

 

            Kurt wasn’t really sure if Blaine remembered his hysterical breakdown and maybe that was good. It still broke his head every time he saw the panicked look on Blaine’s face when he saw the IV mark and bruise. 


	21. Reevaluate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt (by anonymous): Set after Blaine relapsed after Benji got shot. Blaine gets sick and the symptoms are alot like withdrawal and Kurt thinks he might be using again but he’s not and Benji figures out Blaine is just sick.

           Kurt was so tired.

 

            He took a moment to rub at his eyes and sigh heavily as he finished up breakfast. In the middle of the night he had woken up and had been desperate to get out of bed and do something.

 

            To get away from Blaine.

 

            The guilt made his chest clench painfully and he sighed again. He loved his husband more than anything but every time he looked at his husband he could still hear the slurred whispers in his ear begging him to go faster and those glazed eyes staring back at him.

 

            How many other men had seen Blaine like that?

 

            Granted, it had been a few weeks since Blaine had gone through the relapse and while he was over the short drug episode Kurt couldn’t help but worry. He pulled out a pan of muffins and heard a hum behind him.

 

            “Smells good,” Blaine’s voice sounded hoarse and when Kurt turned around he frowned.

 

            Blaine was pale, his eyes surrounded by dark circles. He had wrapped a soft blue blanket around his shoulders and gave him a wan smile.

 

            “Hey, are you alright?” Kurt stared intently at his husband.

 

            “I’m not feeling great,” Blaine shrugged. “I think I have a bug or something.”

 

            “Hmm,” Kurt raised his eyebrows.

 

            “I’ll just go back to bed,” Blaine grabbed a muffin from the pan and smiled.

 

            “Stay down here so I make sure you’re alright,” Kurt blurted out. “How does soup for lunch sound?”

 

            “So good,” Blaine grinned taking a bite out of the muffin. He leaned back when Kurt tried to give him a kiss. “Sorry, I don’t want to give you the bug.”

 

            “Sure,” Kurt couldn’t even smile as his heart dropped.

 

            Later that afternoon Kurt walked into the living room and froze, only seeing Benji on the couch.

 

            “Where’s your dad?”

 

            “He went upstairs,” Benji pointed to the staircase, not even looking up from his show. “Something about taking a nap.”

 

            Kurt put the soup on the coffee table and hurried up the stairs. His mind went in overdrive thinking about what he was going to see.

 

            Blaine holding a lighter under a spoon.

 

            Blaine sliding a needle into his arm.

           

            Blaine hastily cleaning up the evidence.

 

            Blaine lying unconscious from an overdose.

 

            Oh God.

 

            He burst through the bedroom door and sagged against the frame when a rumpled Blaine squinted at him from the door.

 

            “What?”

 

            “Nothing.”

 

            Kurt’s anxiety overwhelmed him when Blaine was helping Benji get ready for bed. He took advantage of his time alone and started looking through as many little hiding places as he could. He was digging through a rip in the mattress when Blaine walked in.

 

            “What are you doing?” Blaine froze, eyes wide.

 

            “Nothing.”

 

            “Kurt, what are you doing?” Blaine asked softly.

 

            “Do you have another baggie in here?” Kurt turned to face him. “You’ve been acting off. Do you have another baggie?”

 

            “I have a bug,” He said slowly, crossing his arms over his stomach defensively.

 

            “Don’t lie to me.”

 

            “I’m not!” Blaine threw his hands up in the air and his eyes grew shiny with tears. “Kurt I’m not on drugs. I made a mistake. It’s not happening again.”

 

            “That’s what you said before,” Kurt snapped back.

 

            “Is this how it is going to always be?” Blaine snarled, looking far angrier than Kurt had ever seen him. “Every little thing I do is going to be questioned? You’ll never trust me? I’m not going to spend the rest of my life proving this to you.”

 

            “I can’t trust you though!” Kurt found himself shout and instantly wished he could pull those words back.

 

            Blaine walked forward and snatched a pillow off the bed.

 

            “What are you doing?” Kurt reached out for him and Blaine jerked out of his way.

 

            “Sleeping on the couch,” Blaine snapped back. “Were you expecting me to grovel and beg for you to let me sleep in our bed? Fuck you.”

 

            Kurt physically flinched as Blaine stormed out of the room.

 

            He sat on their bed staring at the door for hours, desperate for his husband to come back to their room. Just after three in the morning he put on his slippers and walked downstairs.

 

            Blaine was curled up on his side, eyes open and staring at the wall. The wheezing sound he made while breathing only made Kurt feel worse.

 

            “Blaine?” He asked softly. “Can I talk to you?”

 

            “I was sure you were going to make me pee in a cup before I was allowed to speak to you,” Blaine said hollowly as Kurt sat down on the floor in front of the couch.

 

            “I love you.”

 

            “…I love you too,” Blaine whispered after a long moment, eyes going glassy with tears.

 

            “I keep having this nightmare that you overdose and leave us here alone,” He leaned forward to gently kiss Blaine’s knuckles of the hand that was hanging off the end of the couch. “I can’t do this without you. I can’t do anything without you.”

 

            “I don’t want to feel like I have to keep proving myself to you,” Blaine lightly squeezed his hand.

 

            “I panicked,” Kurt gave him a trembling smile. “I thought I saw something and completely freaked. I do trust you. I do…but…how often do we really hang out? Just the two of us?”

 

            “Never,” Blaine smiled back. “We’re always working or with Benji.”

 

            “We need to go on a date. Get a hotel room and just be by ourselves,” Kurt pressed his forehead into Blaine’s thigh.

 

            “I’d love that,” Blaine’s smile was bright.

 

            “Will you come back to bed? I can never sleep without you,” Kurt stood and offered his hand, pulling up his husband.

 

            “I’m sorry I said fuck you,” Blaine whispered as they walked past Benji’s room.

 

            “It’s fine, I deserved it,” Kurt grinned, kissing him. “I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am to start dating you again.”

 

            Blaine laughed, squeezing Kurt’s hand.

 

            The next morning Kurt walked downstairs to find Benji eating yogurt on the couch.

 

            “Did you get downstairs on your own?”

 

            “Uh huh,” Benji nodded. “You and dad seemed…preoccupied.”

 

            Kurt huffed, ignoring the blush on his cheeks.

 

            “Also, I had that bug a week ago,” He shrugged. “Dad wouldn’t do it again.”

 

            “I’m sorry you overheard our fight. This is so much more than you could possibly know,” Kurt sighed.

           

            “You two love each other right?”

 

            “Of course!” Kurt raised his eyebrows.

 

            “What else is there to know?” Benji gave him a long look before digging back into his yogurt. “I’m fine here on my own, go on your date night.”

 

            “But…”

 

            “Go,” Benji waved his hands. “Eat a fancy dinner, go to a show, stay at a hotel.”

 

            “Benji…”

 

            “Go.”

 

            “Why so adamant?” Kurt found himself smiling.

 

            “Because I love my dads and going out can only help you two,” Benji shrugged. “Just go.”

 

            “Fine,” Kurt grabbed his phone. “I’ll make some reservations.” 


	22. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt (from tragic-we-wander): Kurt gets seriously injured or sick on a family outing in a manner that reminds Blaine of his recent relapse. Blaine is on the verge of a mental breakdown and Benji is forced to step up in a situation that brings back memories for him as well. Bonus points for including Cooper somehow.

           “Amazing!” Kurt raved as he slammed a hand into the steering wheel. “Just spectacular!”

 

            “It was just one solo,” Benji shrugged but had a smile on his face.

 

            “One solo as a sophomore! A sophomore who just came back to school from being injured,” Blaine turned around in the passenger seat.

 

            “Seriously though Benji. That trophy was because of you!” Kurt smiled. “So very proud of you. We have a star on our hands.”

 

            Benji ducked his head a little as they pulled up to a stop light.

 

            “Grace also had a beautiful solo,” Benji shrugged a little.

 

            “Everything that comes out of her mouth is beautiful to you,” Blaine winked at him. “At least it has been since you two started dating.”

 

            “Shush,” Benji laughed and sank down in his seat as the light turned green. “And…”

 

            “Kurt!”

 

            A sedan slammed into the driver’s side of the car and sent it spinning across the intersection. It shuddered to a stop and for a long moment everything was silent.

 

            “Is everyone alright?” Kurt asked shakily, realizing that he was mostly unhurt. It felt like his entire side was bruised and the glass from his window peppered his arms but overall, he was lucky.

 

            “I’m okay,” Benji replied. “Totally fine!”

 

            “Kurt…” His head snapped to the side to see Blaine’s white face.

 

            “Are you hurt?” Kurt tried to move but frowned when he noticed that his seatbelt was stuck and he was pinned in his seat.

 

            “Kurt, Kurt,” Blaine’s voice was panicked.

 

            “Dad are you okay?” Benji leaned forward.

 

            Blaine’s hands fluttered over the cuts on Kurt’s arms and his breathing quickened.

 

            “Blaine!” Kurt snapped.

 

            “You took too much,” Blaine muttered. “Too much.”

 

            “What are you talking about?” Kurt tried to squirm as the sirens of an ambulance wailed nearby. “Honey, are you hurt?”

 

            “Oh God Kurt,” Blaine’s body jerked with a sob and he pressed at Kurt’s arm making him yelp as the glass was pressed into the cuts. “No, no, no.”

 

            “Stop!” Benji undid his seatbelt and moved around in the car enough to slap Blaine across the face. “Dad!”

 

            Blaine jumped and blinked at him, looking shocked.

           

            “Benji?”

 

            “Are you hurt?” Benji asked sharply and Blaine shook his head. “Dad!”

 

            “I’m fine,” He said weakly.

 

            “Sweet,” Benji twisted in his seat and opened his car door, leaning out. “Hey! Hey! My father is stuck!”

 

            A paramedic hurried over, smiling at them reassuringly.

 

            “Is anyone hurt?”

 

            “My papa has some cuts and my dad is…I think they should both go to a hospital,” Benji crawled out, wincing a little.

 

            “And you’re alright?”

 

            “I’m fine,” Benji shrugged. “Can you get them out?”

 

            Benji was led to a nearby ambulance where he was able to be checked while they got his fathers out of the car. It was obvious that Blaine was uninjured but shaken and while it took a long time to get out of the car Kurt was just a little scratched up.

 

            As soon as Kurt was cleared he went right to his husband’s side. Benji hurried over and Kurt pulled him in for a hug. Another paramedic helped the family into an ambulance and they rushed off, Blaine still staring dazedly at the wall.

 

            “Sweetheart you’re worrying me,” Kurt pressed their foreheads together and Benji watched nervously. “Come here with us. Come back.”

 

            “Kurt?”

 

            “Yes,” Kurt smiled and gently ran his thumb across Blaine’s cheekbone.

 

            “What happened?”

 

            “We were in a car accident,” Benji said softly.

 

            “Are you alright?” Blaine asked, eyes wide and Benji nodded. “Thank God.”

 

            “You scared us there,” Kurt took his hand. “You left us for a moment.”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Blaine sighed, leaning forward to place his face in his hands. “Sometimes I just…”

 

            “I know,” Kurt squeezed his hand as the ambulance stopped and the doors swung open.

 

            “We have what looks like superficial glass wounds and a possible head injury,” The paramedic helped them out of the ambulance.

 

            “Seriously, I’m fine,” Blaine held up his hands. “I had a little moment of panic but I’m perfectly fine.”

 

            “Get tests honey,” Kurt gave him a little nudge. “You blanked on me for a long time. Just, for peace of mind okay?”

 

            Blaine groaned but followed a nurse to another room. They let Kurt and Benji stay together as they bandaged up Kurt’s cuts and made sure that Benji was unharmed.

 

            “Is dad okay?” Benji asked from his seat in the waiting room.

 

            “He will be,” Kurt nodded. “Sometimes he just…goes back to where he was. The doctors think it’s some kind of post traumatic thing. It used to happen more and he would completely panic. It hasn’t happened in forever though.”

 

            “But he’s alright?”

 

            “Your dad has been through worse,” Kurt ruffled his hair and the teenager jerked away, grinning.

 

            “No concussion!” Blaine grinned at them as he walked into the waiting room. “I’ve signed all the paperwork and Cooper is on his way to pick us up.”

 

            “Bet he’s excited about that!” Kurt stood up, wincing a little.

 

            “Something about always picking us up at the hospital or something,” Blaine waved his hand.

 

            “Seriously! It’s like I can’t go anywhere without getting a call that something horrible has happened to you,” Cooper stormed into the waiting room scowling. “I’m scared to leave you all alone!”

 

            “Sorry Coop,” Blaine gave him a smile. “We’re all okay though!”

 

            “Good,” Cooper huffed, eyes lingering too long on the dots of blood littering the exposed parts of Kurt’s arms and neck.

 

            “Thanks for helping us out big brother,” Blaine reached over to rub his shoulder.

 

            “Well that’s what I’m here for,” He gave Benji a wink before leading them all out to the car.

 

            Cooper made sure they were inside and comfortable before collapsing onto the couch with a bottle of water. He propped up his feet on the coffee table and got a tired grumble from Kurt.

 

            “Sorry about the freak out,” Blaine sighed. “I just panicked when I saw the cuts.”

 

            “Looked too much like track marks?” Cooper raised his eyebrows. “I thought the same thing.”

 

            “It’s okay,” Benji drained his water bottle. “You just scared me is all.”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Blaine looked at him sadly.

 

            “I’m just glad you’re okay,” The teenager gave him a smile and Blaine nudged him with his foot, smiling.


	23. Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt (by anonymous): Blaine is a teacher, and he realizes one of his students may have a drug problem

            Lila Stevens was a quiet girl. She sat in the back of the choir room and usually doodled in her notebook, face covered by her mousy brown hair.

 

            Lately she had changed. Lila dyed her hair black and started wearing far too much makeup. Her usual soft sweaters had become low cut tops and her jeans became far tighter.

 

            She became even more subdued and refused to even sing backup, instead scribbling in her notebook. To anyone else she looked like she had just gotten more shy but Blaine knew different.

 

            He could see her long sleeves even though it was getting too warm. He could see how nervous she looked. He could see how she trembled. He could see how she stared at her bag almost desperately.

 

            “Lila?” He called out as the bell rang. “Can I speak to you?”

 

            She stared at him with wide, panicked eyes and sat still as the rest of the Glee Club filed out.

 

            “Mr. Anderson-Hummel?” She stuttered out, twisting her fingers in her hair.

 

            “Are you alright?” He took a seat next to her.

 

            “Fine.”

 

            “You don’t look fine,” He gave her a warm smile and she curled in on herself slightly.

 

            “Like you care,” She suddenly spat, eyes flashing. “Like anyone cares.”

 

            “Hey,” He leaned forward a little, frowning. “I care very much for my students. You are incredibly talented and sweet and I hate that something is making you feel this way. Now, tell me what is going on.”

 

            “Nothing,” She shook her head.

 

            He looked down at her arm and froze when he saw that her sleeve had been pulled back far enough to show a few track marks. Panicked, she pulled down her sleeves and squirmed in her seat.

 

            “How long?” He asked softly.

 

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She whispered.

 

            “Lila,” Blaine sighed. “I know.”

 

            “Since I started dating Trevor,” Tears filled her eyes. “It was perfect and we were so good and then…he started…”

 

            “I started after I broke up with my boyfriend in high school,” Blaine said gently and her head snapped up.

 

            “What?”

 

            “My boyfriend moved off to New York City and I had to stay in Lima, Ohio to finish up my senior year. I made…some mistakes and we broke up. I spiraled down and got involved in drugs and alcohol. It was a terrible decision and I regret it completely. So, when I say I understand, I really do,” He gave her a reassuring smile and she slumped in relief.

 

            “I don’t know what to do.”

 

            “I know what it feels like to be looked over. I know what it feels like to feel that no one understand and to think that no one wants to understand,” Tears started running down her cheeks.

 

            “I can’t stop,” She whispered. “Trevor says he’ll leave me if I…”

 

            “It’s hurting you. Do you love him?”

 

            “I do,” She nodded. “He’s good to me. Who else would want me? I’m shy, quiet…no one else would ever want me.”

 

            “Lila, you are such a sweet girl. Any guy would be lucky to be your boyfriend but you deserve better.”

 

            “Beggars can’t be choosers,” She shrugged.

 

            “You’re worth so much more than that. You don’t need to hurt yourself to get someone to love you,” Lila’s body shook with a sob.

 

            “I don’t see myself stopping,” She whispered, tears dotting her jeans.

 

            “I didn’t either. I thought it was hopeless,” Blaine gave her a smile. “But I went through the withdrawal, got through rehab, and got my life back on track. You’re a smart, strong girl. You can do it.”

 

            “I don’t know,” She wrapped her arms around her stomach.

 

            “It’s hard. I’m not going to lie,” She began to tremble. “But you can do it and you will be so much stronger from it.”

 

            “What should I do? I can’t tell my parents,” She sniffed an wiped her eyes.

 

            “I’m sure they’re worried about you. They’ll want you to be better,” He ignored the pang in his chest as he talked about her parents. “We can call them?”

 

            “I cant.”

 

            “Lila, you’ll kill yourself trying to impress this boy. No one is worth that.”

 

            With a deep, trembling breath she nodded. He stood and brought her to the counselor’s office, staying with her until her parents had come to pick her up and a decision had been made about rehab.

 

            Exhausted, he drove home and walked into the house. As soon as he stepped into the door Kurt jumped up and hurried over to him.

 

            “Hey! You were supposed to be home hours ago,” Kurt’s hands fluttered nervously at the lapels of Blaine’s blazer. “I was worried.”

 

            “Sorry for worrying you,” He sighed. “I just had a horrible day at work.”

 

            “Well, I can heat up a plate of dinner and get you a glass of wine?” Kurt smiled. “How about you go start a bath and I’ll bring you in a plate?”

 

            “You’re amazing,” Blaine pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

 

            “I know,” Kurt winked.

 

            Later Blaine could feel some of the stress from the day leave his shoulders as he relaxed back against Kurt’s chest and sipped wine in their hot bath. He sighed softly when Kurt hooked his chin over Blaine’s shoulder.

 

            “Remember Lila?” Blaine asked softly, taking a long drink from his wine.

 

            “That little quiet girl? I think Benji invited her to his birthday a few times when he was little,” Kurt nodded, taking Blaine’s wine glass and filling it up before taking a drink.

 

            “I noticed that she’s been more quiet than usual. I asked to speak with her after class and saw track marks,” Blaine closed his eyes as Kurt took in a shaky breath. “Her new boyfriend forced her into it.”

 

            “Oh Blaine…”

 

            “So I took her to the counselor and her parents are putting her in a rehab program in the morning,” He leaned back further and Kurt wrapped his arm tightly around Blaine’s chest.

 

            “That’s great! So she’ll be alright?” Kurt said softly into his hair.

 

            “Yeah,” He nodded.

 

            “You don’t sound very happy,” Kurt whispered and Blaine blinked frantically, trying to fight the tears in his eyes.

 

            “I am. Lila is such a sweet girl and she needs this. She’ll be okay and that’s all I want,” He started curling up forward but Kurt pulled him back until he relaxed again. “But all I can think about is myself and it makes me feel like not only a terrible teacher but a terrible person.”

 

            “Well that’s a lie. You’re amazing at both.”

 

            “Kurt, it took me years before I felt comfortable enough to drink a little bit of alcohol,” Blaine rolled his eyes. “I hate thinking that she has to suffer through what I did.”

 

            “But look where you are now,” Kurt smiled.

 

            “The entire time I was helping her I was thinking that no one ever stopped to notice me,” He whispered. “Does that make me selfish?”

 

            “It makes you human.”

 

            “Not one teacher stopped to see me. None of my friends took the time to see. Her parents were horrified. They spent hours trying to understand why and her mom just sat there and sobbed,” He sank further into the bathtub. “They were so determined to help her and make sure that she was alright.”

 

            Kurt took the wine glass and set it on the floor before wrapping both of his arms around his husband.

 

            “My parents were just upset at how much I embarrassed them,” He felt Kurt’s arms tighten. “It’s just…”

 

            “Not fair.”

 

            “Kurt,” Blaine sighed.

 

            “No Blaine, it’s not fair. God know how you turned out so amazing after those horrible people raised you. Although I guess they didn’t really raise you did they?” Blaine leaned back to press a kiss to Kurt’s jaw.

 

            “It’s okay.”

 

            “It’s not okay,” Kurt shook his head. “You deserve more than that.”

 

            “Well I got you,” Blaine smiled. “That makes up for it.”

 

            Kurt huffed and Blaine laughed, kissing his jaw again.

 

            “I got you, Benji, Cooper,” Blaine smiled warmly at him. “My life right now is so perfect. Fuck my parents. I have my own perfect family here.”


	24. Reconnect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt (by anonymous): Kurt and Blaine’s date night

            “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Kurt asked, taking a suitcase from Benji.

 

            “I’m fine!”

 

            “We could just go one night, not the whole weekend,” He sighed.

 

            “I’m sixteen, not six,” Benji shooed his dads out the door. “I’m just going to eat pizza and watch tv. Don’t worry about me. Have fun.”

 

            “Cooper will be by tomorrow to check on you,” Blaine called out from where he was putting the suitcase in the trunk of the car. “No crazy parties.”

 

            “Yes sir,” Benji gave him a salute.

 

            Blaine pulled Kurt away from their son and into the car before they started off to the city.

 

            “This is a weekend for us. Banji’s a big boy so you don’t need to worry,” Blaine gave him a smile. “We have a beautiful hotel room and Rachel somehow got us into that new restaurant tomorrow night. We’re going to have fun.”

 

            “I know,” Kurt reached over to take his hand. “I just don’t think we’ve ever left him on his own for so long.”

 

            “Maybe we’re overprotective…”

 

            “With the number of teen pregnancy scares and sex scandals we had in high school? Not at all.”

 

            They had also taken advantage of Rachel’s contacts in the city to score a beautiful hotel room with a full view of the city. It was tastefully decorated and had a huge bed in the middle of the room piled his with puffy pillows.

 

            Blaine instantly flopped onto the bed as soon as they got into the room and groaned.

 

            “It’s like a cloud,” He mumbled into the pillow.

 

            “Hey you,” Kurt grinned mischievously, slapping Blaine’s bottom and making him yelp. “No going to bed. We’re here to be wild and crazy and young.”

 

            “I’ll show you wild and crazy,” Blaine laughed, grabbing Kurt’s hands and pulling him onto the bed.

 

            “Blaine!” Kurt laughed, trying to squirm away from his husbands tickling hands. “We can have sex all the time at home. Let’s go see a show or walk around the city.”

 

            “But we can’t have sex in his giant bed or on that fancy couch or in the shower or…” Blaine grinned, kissing along his jaw.

 

            Kurt unbuttoned his own shirt, getting a whoop in response as Blaine worked to rid himself of his clothes just as fast. Their mouths met messily as they smiled into the kiss breaking apart only to laugh.

 

            They both groaned as they ground together and quickly brought each other to orgasm, panting into each other’s mouth.

 

            “Young enough for you?” Blaine asked cheekily as they lay back on the pillows. “At least we didn’t come in our pants. We’ve improved since we were sixteen.”

 

            “Well practice makes perfect.”

 

            “Ugh,” Blaine scowled, resting his hands on his stomach. “I tell you though. You haven’t changed since we were in high school and I’ve only gotten fat.”

 

            “Shut up!” Kurt laughed. “You look fantastic and you know it.”

 

            “Yeah right,” Blaine rolled his eyes.

 

            “I like this little pudge,” Kurt rolled over and kissed the fleshy part of Blaine’s stomach. “It shows me how comfortable you are with me. It’s sexy.”

 

            Blaine smiled fondly at his husband and gently ran his hand through his hair.

 

            “God, I love you.”

 

            “I love you too,” Kurt leaned forward to kiss him sweetly.

 

            “I’ve been thinking,” Blaine intertwined their fingers together. “That our anniversary is coming up.”

 

            “It is.”

 

            “And we’ve had a rough year.”

 

            “We have.”

 

            “So…I really want to renew our vows,” Blaine smiled as Kurt’s eyes lit up. “I want to have a ceremony and invite all our friends and family.”

 

            “I’d love that!”

 

            “And since you proposed first last time I want to do it this time,” Blaine grinned and kissed Kurt’s knuckles. “So, Kurt Anderson-Hummel, would you do me the honor of being my husband…again.”

 

            “Absolutely,” Kurt laughed, kissing him firmly.

 

            Blaine smiled widely into the kiss and they found themselves tangled up in the sheets again.

 

            “So, want to go to some fancy New York restaurant?” Kurt asked from where he was lounging on the bed, head pillowed on Blaine’s chest.

 

            “Nah.”

 

            “I know, I can’t move,” Kurt sighed. “Room service?”

 

            Blaine nodded and rolled over grabbed the phone. He dialed and smiled back at Kurt who was laying on his stomach, looking up at him.

 

            “Hi yes! We’re in room 805,” He smiled. “We’ll take strawberries and champagne and…”

           

            “A salad,” Kurt said.

 

            “Two cheeseburgers and two slices of cheesecake,” He ignored Kurt’s protests, thanked the staff and hung up.

 

            “You’re going to make me fat.”

 

            “Good,” Blaine grinned, leaning down for another kiss. The food arrived too quickly and Blaine had to scramble back into his pants before answering the door.

 

            They sat cross legged on the bed, watching bad late time television and eating their food. Kurt groaned happily, patting his stomach and placing his empty cheesecake plate on the bedside table.

 

            “All done?” Blaine asked, glancing up at him.

 

            “I think I’ll explode if I eat anything else.”

 

            Blaine grinned brightly and reached down to curl his hand around Kurt’s cock making him gasp and jerk.

 

            “What are you doing?”

 

            “Taking advantage of this big bed,” Blaine kissed the underside of his jaw.

 

            Kurt huffed out a laugh and pushed Blaine down on his back before kissing down his stomach. Blaine squirmed a little, moaning as Kurt finally licked a slow stripe up his cock.

 

            “Oh yes,” He sighed and carded his fingers through Kurt’s hair as he took more into his mouth. “Please, please, please.”

 

            His back arched as Kurt sucked hard and reached under him to tease his hole. Blaine whimpered and felt his toes digging into the soft sheets. He let out a long cry when Kurt pressed forward with his finger.

 

            “Please Kurt,” He gasped and Kurt leaned back.

 

            “How do you want to?” He said, voice slightly hoarse.

 

            “I want you in me,” Blaine pulled him forward into a deep kiss. “Please Kurt. I love that. I love feeling how much you love me.”

 

            Kurt smiled sweetly at him and kissed him firmly before scrambling to grab the lube out of their suitcase. He jumped back on his husband and ran his fingers up Blaine’s side making him shriek and writhe with laughter.

 

            They kissed as Kurt slowly prepped Blaine and lay on their sides, Kurt spooning behind him as he slid in. They both moaned brokenly, Blaine’s neck arched so that his head rested on Kurt’s shoulder.

 

            “I love you,” Kurt whispered into his hair, reaching around to twist their fingers together and rocked him hips slowly.

 

            It wasn’t about rushing to the end. It wasn’t about making each other fall apart. It wasn’t about having their world explode into light.

 

            It was about them.

 

            They squeezed their fingers and rocked slowly, gasping and Blaine twisted his neck around to kiss his husband firmly.

 

            They made love throughout the night, curled around each other under the sheets. Late that night they lay facing each other and Blaine was reminded of their first time, so many years ago.

 

            “I’m sorry I ever made you doubt this,” He whispered, pressing their noses together. “With Eli, with the drugs. Ever. I’m sorry.”

 

            “I don’t think I ever doubted this,” Kurt said softly. “I’m not saying that this has been easy, it hasn’t, but I don’t think I ever wanted anything different. There is nothing I would change.”

 

            “Same here,” Blaine smiled.

 

            “Why else would I agree to marry you again?”  


	25. Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt (by anonymous): Grace finds out about Blaine’s addiction.

              Grace was something else.

               

                Benji found something new every day that surprised him about her. Grace wanted to be an elementary school art teacher. Grace could ride a bike without holding onto the handlebars. Grace could make a perfect swirl of ice cream on an ice cream cone.

                Grace thought drug addicts were disgusting.

                It happened when they were watching Rent, an old movie but on of Benji’s favorites, when she said it. It was the Without You scene when Mimi was shaking and crying through withdrawals and that always caused Benji’s chest to clench.

                “God,” Grace huffed from where she was laying on his chest. “That’s so pathetic.”

               

                “What?”

                “Her,” She kind of threw her hand in the general direction of the television set. “I mean, she chose to start drugs right? Why can’t she just stop?”

                “She’s addicted.”

                “Hmm,” Grace shrugged.

                “No. What do you mean?” Benji shifted to look at her.

                “I just don’t think she’s making the right choice.”

                “By now she’s addicted, she doesn’t really have a choice,” Benji nodded to the screen. “That’s why she had to go to rehab.”

                “Like sitting around and talking about that is going to work. I really like chocolate cake. I don’t have to go to a meeting to say no,” She sat up and shrugged again. “I just don’t do it.”

               

                “It’s a disease.”

                “It’s a choice.”

                “Grace…”

                “I mean, she chose to take the drugs,” Grace glanced back at the screen. “She chose to be a stripper, she chose to be a whore…”

                “Get out.”

                “What?” Grace blinked at him, clearly surprised.

                “I think you should leave now,” Benji grit his teeth and didn’t say a word as she quietly grabbed her purse and left.

                Benji flopped back onto the couch, glared at the ceiling and turned off the movie.

                 _From Grace: Can we talk? I know I said something to upset you. I’m sorry. I want to talk_

                Benji stared down at the text the next day for a moment before typing out a reply.

                 _To Grace: Come over after school?_

Grace was at his door just minutes after he got home. She smiled at him awkwardly, not sure if she should go in for a hug or kiss.

                “Hey.”

                “Hey,” He pulled her in for a quick hug.

                “I’ve been driving myself crazy trying to figure this out,” She looked down at the floor and brushed her hair behind her ear. “Please tell me what I did so we can go back to where we were.”

                “Come in,” He took her hand and led her up to his room. She placed her purse on his desk and sat cross legged on his bed, smiling when he sat across from her.

                “My dad was a drug addict,” He said softly.

                “Oh…”

                “And he’s a great guy. He’s the best,” Benji stared at the pattern on his comforter. “Just…”

                “What I said…” Grace nodded. “Is he still an addict? He teaches at our school! Are you in danger?”

                “No,” He sighed heavily. “It’s a really long story.”

                “I want to hear,” She reached forward to take his hands in hers.

                “My fathers started dating in high school you know,” He nodded when she smiled. “Then my papa went off to New York and they tried long distance. It didn’t go so well. My papa got insanely busy and started ignoring my dad who really missed him. Things got worse and worse until my dad cheated on my papa. He went to New York, confessed and they broke up.

                After that my dad was a mess. He was still completely in love with my papa. You know when you are so depressed that you just think you don’t deserve anything? That maybe you deserve to be depressed? That’s what happened. I think my dad tried to punish himself and got involved with drugs, alcohol, and bad relationships. My uncle tried to help him but he overdosed. He went through detox and rehab before finishing high school and going on to NYU.”

                “Oh…”

                “He’s brave and amazing and didn’t let it destroy him,” Benji smiled. “It wasn’t a choice. It almost killed him.”

                “I didn’t know,” She shook her head.

                “I like you Grace,” He tightened his hold on her hands. “But, if that’s how you feel about drug addicts I don’t know if I can do this. My dad is one of the most important people in my world and I can’t have my girlfriend looking down at him.”

                “I can try,” She whispered. “I don’t understand but I can try.”

                “Really?”

                “I think…I think I love you,” Her fair skin burned bright pink.

                “What?”

                “I love you Benji,” She tightened her hold on his hands.

                “I…I don’t…”

                “You don’t have to say it back,” She whispered, shaking her head.

                “I really like you Grace,” He let out in a long breath. “I really do. I want this to work.”

                On Friday, Grace knocked on the front door. She gave Benji a peck on the cheek as he took her book bag and followed him in.

                “Thank you so much Mr. Anderson-Hummel for inviting me to dinner,” She smiled at Kurt.

                “There’s going to be a problem with both my husband and I sharing the same last name and title,” Kurt gave her a grin. “Call me Kurt dear.”

                “Of course,” She laughed, smiling over at Benji.

                He hurried to put her bag in the closet but just as he was putting it away the title of one of the books caught his eye.

                 _Understanding Drug Addiction_

  
                Benji had to duck his head a little to keep everyone from seeing the silly smile that had spread across his face. He quickly walked over to Grace and hugged her tightly.

                “I love you,” He whispered in her ear and she smiled against his neck. “I do.”

                “Hey you two,” Blaine called out from the dining room. “Food’s getting cold!”

                “Be right there,” Benji took her hand and they walked in together.


	26. Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by charfour: I just want to know what happened with Louis.

              When Louis was four years old his daddy came home. He didn’t notice that his mommy seemed worried and stressed or that she was hiding their money and her jewelry. All he knew was that all his friends had daddies and he didn’t even remember his.

                His daddy came home and scooped him into a tight hug, He played basketball with him, took his to the park, and went to all of his t-ball games.

                When Louis was eight years old his daddy stayed out all night every night. He stopped playing basketball. He stopped taking him to the park. He missed all of his baseball games.

                Louis walked up the stairs and heard his mother screaming in fury. She was storming out of the house, pushed past him, and threw her things into the car. She didn’t even say goodbye before she drove off. His father put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, telling him that it was just them two now.

                Everything changed. His father was always out and when he was home he was sleeping. Louis learned how to take care of himself. They moved all the time and Louis was so lonely. Sometimes when he father wasn’t shooting up he sat Louis down in front of their ancient piano and taught what Blaine had told him. Every time his father talked about Blaine his eyes shone sadly.

                When Louis was thirteen the music stopped. He came home after school to find his father cold on the bathroom floor. Clyde stared blankly ahead, his lips blue and stained with vomit. The needle was still in his arm.

                Shaking, Louis scrambled around the little apartment. He gathered as many things as he could into a backpack, desperate to not go into the foster system. He grabbed the little baggies strewn by his father’s body, knowing they could help pay his way and leafed through the pile of mail.

                One particular letter caught his attention. It was a glassy photograph of two smiling men holding a little baby. It was old and the photo was slightly discolored. At the bottom in delicate script it said “Welcome Baby Benji.”

                Although the picture was three years old there was still an address.

                New York.

                A month later Louis finally arrived in New York. It was cold and rainy but the sense of freedom was overwhelming. He was hungry and cold but he had an address. Blaine Anderson lived somewhere in this huge city and he was going to find him.

                Hours later Louis was cold and miserable from where he sat on the bench. Blaine Anderson had moved. No one knew where he was and Louis was all alone in this huge city.

                “Hey kiddo,” A tall man walked up to him, smiling. “Are you alright?”

                Louis shook his head, looking down at his frigid fingers resting in his lap.

                “Let me help you.”

                When Louis was fourteen he finally warmed up. He felt like he hadn’t stopped shivering for an entire year. He shivered as he walked up to the attractive man and tried to get enough money to get something warm in his stomach.

                What happened next was like something out of a dream. He was brought back to the Anderson-Hummel house and given warm, comfortable pajamas to wear.  His hair was still wet from the shower but he was so warm.

                “Louis?” Blaine knocked gently at his door. “Dinner is ready if you want some?”

                “I’d love some,” He rubbed at his arms and followed Blaine into the living room. Louis felt incredibly out of place, having never really had a family meal together.

                “What’s your name?” The little boy sitting across from him asked.

                “Louis,” He gave the boy a little smile.

                “I’m Benji. I’m five,” The boy jerked his chin up and his curly hair bounced around his forehead. “Are you going to be in my room because you can’t have it!”

                “Benji,” Kurt reprimanded, giving him a sharp look. “That is rude. I’m sorry, he’s having trouble sharing.”

                The boy mumbled to himself and eagerly crammed lasagna into his mouth as soon as his father had finished cutting it up into bite sized pieces.

                  
                “Do you have any other family Louis?” Blaine asked softly and the teenager turned to him with wide eyes.

                “I…I…”

                “We won’t throw you out,” Kurt reassured him. “We just want to make sure that you are well taken care of.”

                They really did care.

                Tears filled Louis’s eyes and his lower lip quivered a little. Unable to keep the tears at bay any longer he bowed his head and let them fall.

                “We’ll keep you safe,” Blaine reached over to rub his back.

                Louis’s body jerked with hard violent sobs and he covered his face with his hands. A small hand gently nudged his thigh and something soft landed in his lap. Louis moved his hands aside to see the little stuffed dog staring up at him with huge eyes.

                “Her name is Margaret Thacher Dog,” Benji said. “She made my daddy feel better when he was sad and she makes me feel better when I’m sad. Maybe she can make you happy…but you can’t keep her.”

                Louis smiled tearfully.

                He only stayed with the Hummel-Anderson’s for a week. The second day they had located his grandparents who had sobbed on the phone after hearing he was alright. Apparently, Clyde had started moving around after his mother had left and never told them where he was going. They had heard their son was dead but had no idea about their grandson.

                As much as Louis kind of wanted to stay with the Anderson-Hummels he really missed his grandparents. He missed the way his grandma would make the best pie and the way his grandpa would tell the best stories. Maybe he was a little too old for it but after losing so much of his childhood he just wanted a little bit to remain the same.

                Everyone was in tears the day his grandparents came, especially little Benji who had taken a shine to him and clung to his leg bawling. His grandmother had pulled him into a tight hug and sobbed into his shoulder as his grandfather rubbed his back.

                Louis had to blink away tears at how at home he felt.

                “We’ll get him some help,” His grandmother assured Blaine and Kurt. “We have an exceptional therapist lined up and we will get him into a great school. You’ll be alright Louis.”

                And even though he had to hug them all goodbye, promising to stay in tough, he didn’t feel too sad because for the first time in a long time he really knew he was going to be alright.

 


	27. Iron Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine and Sam bonding after he gets back from rehab.

           “No way dude!” Blaine laughed and tried to push Sam’s controller out of his hands. “You cant use cheats!”

            “Not my fault you suck at this! You used to be so good!” Sam jerked his hands away, wide grin in place.

            “Well I haven’t had time to practice for almost four months,” Blaine shrugged. “No video games in rehab.”

            “Oh…oh I’m so sorry,” Sam’s smile vanished and he tensed up.

            “No, I’m sorry,” Blaine frowned, realizing that he had ruined the playful atmosphere they had going. “We can just forget I said anything.”

            “I don’t want that though. You’re my best friend and I don’t want you to hide from me,” Sam paused the game and turned to face him. “It’s super hot outside and you’re still wearing long sleeves and high collars.”

            “I don’t want anyone to see,” Blaine said softly.

            “You let me see them earlier,” Sam glanced down at his sleeves. “But you’re still wearing a sweater.”

            “I don’t like to see them,” Blaine yanked back his sleeves to show the marks up and down his arms. “I hate that every time I look down I see those marks or every time I look in the mirror. I’m trying to get over hating myself for what I’ve done but I can’t.”

            “None of us hate you,” Sam looked at him sadly as Blaine’s eyes filled up with tears.

            “Why?”

            “Why would we?”

            “I cheated on Kurt. I slept with a lot of guys and did some horrible, horrible things,” Blaine wrapped his arms around his stomach.

            “But you’re not a bad person,” Sam said quickly. “I was homeless, living in a motel and stripping for money. Does that change how you see me?”

            “Of course not,” Blaine shrugged. “But you did what you had to do.”

            “And because you weren’t getting the help you needed you did what you thought you needed to,” He leaned forward when Blaine ducked his head.

            “Sam…”

            “Tony Stark was an alcoholic and drug addict,” Sam pointed out. “Are you saying Iron Man isn’t awesome? He went through crap and has saved the world a million times. The alcohol and drugs didn’t make him who is was. He is a hero.”

            “That’s not the same,” Blaine shook his head but a small smile turned up his lips.

            “Well you’re my hero dude,” Sam pushed him a little. “I like you better than Iron Man.”

            “That has to be the nicest thing you have said to me,” He let out a watery laugh.

            “So do you want me to keep kicking your ass?” Sam pointed at the screen and Blaine grinned, picking up his controller.

            After a few minutes of playing, Blaine shrugged off his sweater and really got into the game. Sam couldn’t help but smile when he saw that Blaine’s attention was taken off of the marks.

            It had been a really long time since he had seen Blaine smile like that.

            “So is everything going okay at home? How are your parents dealing with all of this,” The quick inhale of breath made him freeze again. “Shit. Sorry…I need to think before I say…”

            “I left,” Blaine didn’t move his eyes away from the screen.

            “Sorry?”

            “I moved in with my brother,” Blaine’s fingers flew as he made a complex move on the game. “My mom was pissed that I embarrassed them by going to rehab. My dad didn’t even bother coming home.”

            “Seriously?” Sam’s character fell over a cliff as he looked over in shock.

            “It’s not the first time they’ve said something like that,” Blaine shrugged.

            “I never knew.”

            “It’s not something I really wanted to talk about. There wasn’t a Neglectful Parents week in Glee,” Blaine shrugged again.  “There was a lot I didn’t want to talk about.”

            “I don’t think I really ever knew you then,” Blaine’s eyes flicked over to him. “I’m sorry Blaine.”

            “Don’t keep saying that,” Blaine gave him a tiny smile. “I should have tried harder to open up.”

            “I feel like we’ve had this conversation,” Sam leaned over to nudge him with his shoulder. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you though.”

            “Me too,” Blaine gave him a grin. 


	28. Vices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine meets Kurt’s grandparents and his past with drug addiction is accidentally revealed to Kurt’s grandfather.

           Blaine knew that Kurt knew he was uncomfortable. He was squirming in the passenger seat, tugging at his sleeves, and staring out of the window.

            “So,” He said slowly, making Blaine jump. “Grandma says that she is going to make us a pumpkin pie which is the best pie you will ever taste in your life.”

            “Are you sure this is okay?” Blaine twisted his fingers together. “Me spending Thanksgiving with your family? I mean…Carole and Burt are one thing but your grandparents?”

            “They’ll love you,” Kurt took his hand. “My grandparents are awesome. They’re totally accepting and super excited to meet you.”

            “Really?”

            “When I told them I was bringing my super adorable boyfriend they were thrilled,” He grinned when Blaine’s cheeks went a little pink. “They will love you.”

            They arrived to Kurt’s grandparent’s home twenty minutes later and Blaine’s heart pounded. The house was an adorable little cottage complete with a smoking chimney.

            “Kurt!” A grinning woman with short white hair leaned out of the front window.

            “Hi Grandma!” Kurt stepped out and gave her a wave.

            “Is that boy of yours here too?” Blaine smiled as he stepped out as well. “Oh! There he is! Come on in you two!”

            Kurt walked around to Blaine’s side and took his hand, bringing him into the house. Blaine grinned and hugged Burt, Carole, and Finn hello before introducing himself to Kurt’s grandparents.

            As he reached out to shake Kurt’s grandfather’s hand, his sleeve slipped back and the line of track marks was obvious. Blaine’s smile froze on his face and he quickly jerked back his hand and yanked the sleeve down but it was clear that they had been seen.

            “It’s nice to meet you sir,” He whispered. 

            “Enough of this sir stuff. Call me Clive,” He smiled and Blaine was instantly reminded of Burt. “And it’s very nice to meet you too kiddo.”

            Blaine took a step closer to Kurt and continued pulling down his sleeve. Cluing in on his boyfriend’s discomfort, Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine’s waist and squeezed a little.

            “Kurt dear?” His grandmother smiled at them. “Care to help me in the kitchen?”

            Kurt glanced over to Blaine who shrugged.

            “Sure,” He squeezed Blaine’s waist one more time before following her into the kitchen.

            “Alcohol,” Clive suddenly said, getting a wide eyed look in response. “My vice was alcohol after the war.”

            “Oh I…”

            “I saw the marks,” Clive nodded down to his arms and Blaine ran a nervous hand over his sleeve. “I’m not sure what you were doing or what caused you to do it but it had to be pretty horrible. The alcohol let me forget what I had been though. You’re clean now right?”

            “Of course,” Blaine nodded furiously.

            “Good.”

            “So…you don’t care?” Blaine winced a little.

            “I was a mess after the war and with the alcohol I got only worse. It wasn’t until after I met Mary that I restarted my life. She saved me,” Clive smiled so brightly that Blaine smiled as well.

            “Kurt helped me.”

            “You love my grandson?”

            “Absolutely,” Blaine nodded. “He’s my everything.”

            “Then no I don’t care,” Clive shrugged. “You seem to be a very nice young man. Clearly you’ve been through some crap but you’re getting through it.”

            “I’ve been working so hard sir,” He winced when Clive gave him a sharp look. “Sorry…Clive.”

            “You love my grandson, Kurt loves you,” Clive wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “I want you both to be happy because the way Kurt talks about you makes me think you are spending the rest of your lives together.”

            “I sure hope so,” Blaine smiled down at his feet.

            “And you just wait until you taste Mary’s pie. You’re life is going to change,” Blaine laughed and Clive patted him on the back.

            “I’m looking forward to it,” Blaine smiled as Kurt stepped back in. Clive patted him again on the back and joined Burt in front of the television.

            “You okay?” Kurt raised his eyebrows and sucked in a quick breath when Blaine gave him a tight hug.

            “I love your family,” He murmured into Kurt’s neck.

            “They love you,” Kurt smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple


	29. Maybes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine sees one of his old dealers when they visit Kurt’s parents in Lima after the birth of Benji.

            Diapers. Formula. Pacifiers. Diapers. Formula. Pacifiers.

            Blaine loved being a dad and Benji was a blessing. He was a happy baby, always smiling brightly up at his fathers and babbled constantly.

            He also had a habit of throwing his pacifiers at the most inopportune moments and losing them.

            Diapers. Formula. Pacifiers. Diapers. Formula. Pacifiers.

            He hurried up the steps to the only convenience store open at ten at night in Lima and froze when a hoarse voice called out to him.

            “Hey…hey sweetheart,” A man stepped out of the shadows. “I’ll blow you for twenty bucks.”

            “No thank you,” Blaine raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

            “I’ll make it good for you,” The man grinned, a few teeth missing. “I had a boyfriend who looked just like you…a long time ago.”

            “Listen, I said no,” Blaine shook his head again and the man’s hand whipped out to grab his wrist.

            “You’re so cute sweetie,” The man mumbled. “Let me make you feel better.”

            The familiarity of the phrase made him pause and he let himself look over the man. His hair was limp, eyes shadowed and in his forties.

            His face was suddenly familiar. Blaine could remember the man grinning down at him as Blaine moaned around his cock and the way the man gasped with him when he slid the needle into his arm.

            He also remembered the man’s face fading as he fell unconscious from the overdose.

            “Josh?” He breathed.

            “I don’t…Blaine?” The man frowned. “Is that really you?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Wow,” Josh sighed. “The dope did well to you. You look even hotter if that is possible.”

            “I kicked it,” Blaine took a step back. “I’m married now and we have a son.”

            “Good for you!” Josh grinned. “Don’t lie though. I have a hit here for you. Remember the party boy you used to be? Let’s fuck for old times sake.”

            “Do you just live out here?”

            “Well I usually go home with pretty guys like you,” Josh grinned again. “It’s the best life.”

            “I’ve…I’ve got to go,” Blaine found himself shivering and turned on his heel, hurrying away.

            His heart pounded as he all but ran up the stairs to the Hummel-Hudson house and all but fell through the door.

            “Jesus Blaine!” Kurt snapped when Benji started wailing. “He just got to sleep!”

            Blaine threw his arms around his husband’s neck and shook with sobs. Kurt stumbled backwards with the impact but held Blaine tightly, rubbing his back.

            “Honey? What’s going on? Are you hurt?” Kurt held him tightly.

            “No,” Blaine shook his head. “I saw…one of my old dealers.”

            “Oh sweetheart,” Kurt led him to the couch.

            “He was the guy who gave me too much when I overdosed,” Blaine wiped his eyes. “He was this handsome rich guy who I fucked for drugs. Now he’s basically a whore on the street. If it happened to him, it could have happened to me.”

            “But it didn’t.”

            “It could have,” Blaine sighed. “I could have been a whore living on the street sucking cock for drugs.”

            “Blaine,” Kurt took his face in both hands and turned his face towards him. “It could have happened. It could have and it would have killed me to see that happen to you. I don’t even want to think about it. Instead you are my husband, you have your dream job, you are an amazing dad and you are perfect.”

            “Kurt…”

            “I love you so much,” Kurt smiled as he stroked over his husband’s cheekbone with his thumb. “And the thought of you doing that kills me. It kills me. But you are here with me. Don’t think about what could have happened. A million things could have happened but you ended up here. It’s where you were meant to be.”

            “There is no where else I would rather be,” Blaine gave him a shaky smile and kissed him deeply.

            Another high pitched wail made them separate and they smiled as they went to take care of their son. 


	30. Orange Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: AU. Blaine died after his overdose.

           Cooper’s world stopped thirty seven minutes ago.

            Blaine’s heart stopped thirty seven minutes ago.

            He was faintly aware of the soft spoken social worker trying to talk to him, the doctor trying to explain what had happened and Carole standing silently by his side. All he could see was Blaine.

            Blaine looked unbelievably small in the hospital bed. His lips were tinged blue and the intubation tube was still resting between them. Even as a small child Blaine never stood still, always jumping around or bouncing on the balls of his feet.

            No matter how hard Cooper stared at him, he wasn’t moving.

            “Was…was he in pain?” Cooper asked softly, turning red rimmed eyes to the doctor who paused in the middle of what he was saying. “Was he in pain when he…”

            “When someone overdoses they fall into a coma. It’s just like falling asleep,” The doctor gave him a small smile.

            “You’re lying to me.”

            “Mr. Anderson,” The doctor sighed.

            “Please…I need to know.”

            “We administer narcan to try to reverse the overdose. It causes vomiting and tries to force the heart to continue beating and the lungs to continue breathing. It is…very painful to go through,” The doctor winced a little.

            “So he was in a lot of pain when he died?” Cooper’s voice shook.

            “I’m afraid so,” The doctor said softly. “We did everything we could to save your brother.”

            “I know,” Cooper whispered, reaching down to touch Blaine’s hand, tears welling in his eyes when he felt how cold he was already getting. “Thank you.”

            “Is there anything I can do?” Carole asked, squeezing his arm.

            “Do my parents know?”

            “They do…” Carole nodded.

            “And they aren’t coming are they?” Cooper sounded exhausted. “That’s fine. Fine.”

            “Cooper,” Carole sighed.

            “I need to tell Kurt,” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Kurt has to know.”

            “I can tell him,” Carole gently rubbed his arm. “Sit down.”

            She quietly stepped out of the room as Cooper dropped his head into his hands and dialed her stepson on her cell phone.

            “Carole? What’s up?” She could hear Kurt mumble around something he was eating.

            “Honey, where are you?”

            “In my apartment…” Kurt said slowly. “Why? What’s going on?”

            “Something happened,” She took a deep trembling breath.

            “Is it my dad? What happened?” Kurt’s voice pitched higher than usual and Carole felt tears prick her eyes.

            “It’s not your dad. It’s Blaine.”

            “Blaine?”

            “He came into the hospital this afternoon after a drug overdose. The doctors did everything they could but…”

            “No.”

            “He didn’t…”

            “No! No! Shut up!” Kurt suddenly shouted. “Shut up!”

            “He didn’t make it sweetheart. His heart stopped and there was nothing they could do,” His sob made her heart drop.

            “That’s a lie. Blaine would never be on drugs. You’re lying to me. Why are you doing this?” His voice cracked.

            “I’m so sorry Kurt,” She whispered. “Cooper is here. Do you want me to get tickets for a plane home?”

            “Yes,” Kurt choked out. “God Carole…it’s true isn’t it?”

            “Yes,” Carole whispered. “Sweetheart…”

            “I can’t think right now Carole. Just…I need to go.”

            “I’ll see you soon.”

            Back in New York Kurt sat on his couch, staring down at his phone. The background of his phone was a picture of Blaine pressing a kiss to his cheek, smile on his face.

            “Oh my God Kurt,” Rachel blurted out as soon as she pushed open the door. “You wont believe how…what’s wrong?”

            “Blaine’s dead.”

            “What?” Her large purse hit the floor with a thud.

            “Carole just called…” He felt like his eyes couldn’t stop flitting around the room. “Blaine died. He overdosed on drugs and…died.”

            “Oh my God,” Rachel sunk down on the couch next to him. “Are you…okay?”

            “No,” He snapped his head towards her. “No I’m not okay. Blaine is dead. He’s dead. He’s dead…oh my God…he’s dead.”

            His body convulsed with sobs and Rachel pulled him into a tight hug. Every sob tugged deep in his chest and he felt like he was dying.

            “It’ll be okay,” She murmured into his hair.

            “No it wont,” He shook his head.

            A day later New Directions filed into the choir room, chatting happily to each other. Their smiles faded when they saw Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury talking to each other in the front of the room, faces serious.

            “What’s going on?” Jake asked as they took their seats.

            “I have some news to tell everyone,” Ms. Pillsbury said softly and instantly Sam felt his chest tighten. She was always so bubbly and to see her so serious made everyone shift nervously.

            “What?” Artie asked.

            “This is one of the hardest things a teacher or guidance counselor has to go through,” She sighed. “Yesterday Blaine had an…incident…and he didn’t make it.”

            “What?” Kitty let out a nervous laugh.

            “Blaine died yesterday,” Mr. Schue spoke up and the room seemed to ring in the following silence.

            “How?” Sam felt his hands shake.

            “I can’t…”

            “Please tell us how he died,” As he spoke the words Sam felt bile climb up his throat.

            “It was a drug overdose,” Ms. Pillsbury looked down at her feet. “If anyone need to talk to me I am available…”

            Sam could hardly hear her over Tina’s sobs and the rushing in his ears.

            A week later Kurt walked into the funeral, suit pressed and perfect. An orange rose was pinned to his lapel and his eyes were dry for the first time in a long time. Finn followed close behind, making little aborted attempts to comfort his stepbrother.

            “The rose is nice,” Finn spoke up as they stepped into the building.

            “I gave Blaine a bouquet of them when he got the role of Tony,” Kurt muttered. “They were his favorite.”

            “I’m sure he would love the gesture,” In that moment Kurt was grateful for his stepbrother and gave him a small smile.

            The room was full of people speaking softly and eating the little finger foods offered. Kurt ignored the sad looks cast his way and continued through the funeral until he saw Cooper sitting in a chair in the back of the room.

            “Hey,” He said softly and Cooper’s head snapped up. It was clear that the older man hadn’t slept in days. His eyes were red and his hair was a mess.

            “Hey.”

            Without another word, Kurt sank down into a chair next to him.

            “I had no idea he was doing drugs,” He whispered after a long moment.

            “He was struggling. I wish I had seen it sooner,” Cooper closed his eyes. “Did you know that I was furious at him when he died. I was so pissed because he had stolen my money and left. I was just thinking about how mad I was while he was dying.”

            “I know how you feel,” Kurt gave a small shrug. “Was he…I mean was he in pain when he died?”

            “No,” Cooper whispered after a pause. “No. It was just like falling asleep. He didn’t feel any pain.”

            “Thank God,” Kurt relaxed. “I was so scared that he was in pain.”

            “He wasn’t.”

            Kurt nodded, sighing deeply.

            “I thought you two were going to get married,” A small smile made Cooper’s lips go up. “He loved you. I know he did. You were so good for him.”

            “I….”

            “I know you are angry at him for what he did, there was no excuse,” Cooper rubbed his eyes. “But he loved you.”

            Kurt wiped tears from his cheeks.

            “I would trade places with him in a heartbeat. You two deserved to be happy,” Cooper placed a hand on Kurt’s arm.

            “I don’t think I’ll be…I lost the love of my life.”

            “I lost my little brother,” Cooper took his hand and squeezed. “We thought he was going to die after that dance. I just keep waiting for it to sink in but…I don’t think it will ever be okay.”

            “It wont.”  


	31. Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: A jealous fellow student tells Kurt that Blaine is using drugs and Kurt completely flips out on a confused Blaine.

         Nathan hated Blaine Anderson.

            The asshole would just smile and get whatever he wanted. He was the guy who started off becoming and actor and decided to mold the minds of children. He was handsome and charming and every single person loved him. He had a stunning fiancé and everything was so fucking perfect.

            But Nathan knew his secret.

            He saw the way Blaine’s eyes would cloud over sometimes. He saw the way Blaine would tug at his sleeves. He saw the marks on his arms and neck and after some research figured out what they were. He saw the way Blaine would twist his engagement ring nervously.

            Blaine Anderson was a junkie whore.

            It was when Blaine was being praised by the professor for his “brilliant” and “creative” lesson plans that Nathan began to get upset.

            It was when Blaine gushed to their study group about wedding colors and cake flavors that Nathan felt everything going a little far.

            But what really was the straw that broke the camels back was when he heard Blaine happily explaining his lesson plans to his fiancé on the phone, smile wide and perfect.

            Nathan saw Kurt getting his mocha at the local coffee shop and couldn’t help himself as he walked up.

            “Kurt!” He plastered a huge fake grin on his face.

            “Hey!” Kurt smiled at him. “Nathan right? From Blaine’s study group?”

            “That’s right,” He forced his face into a sad expression. “By the way man, I’m sorry about the breakup.”

            “Breakup?”

            “Yeah, between you and Blaine?” He sighed. “That has to be tough.”

            “We haven’t broken up,” Kurt laughed.

            “Seriously? I thought you would have dumped him after…you know…” He waved his hand.

            “No I don’t know,” Kurt was frowning.

            “I hate to be the one to tell you,” Nathan lowered his voice. “But…last week I walked in on him shooting up in a bathroom. He begged me not to tell you but…I was worried. I thought you knew he was back on the drugs.”

            “I’m sorry what?” Kurt’s face went white.

            “This wasn’t how you were supposed to find out. He said he was going to tell you,” Nathan shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

            “I have to go,” Kurt dropped his full coffee cup in the trash and hurried out of the shop, leaving Nathan behind with a huge smile on his face.

            That night Blaine walked into the apartment, yawning as he did so.

            “Kurt?” He called out. “Honey?”

            A crash from the bedroom made him jump and he hurried towards it. As soon as he stepped into the bedroom he froze.

            Kurt was shoving all of Blaine’s clothes into a duffle bag, tears shining on his cheeks.

            “What’s going on?” He asked, getting a glare in response as Kurt continued to pull his clothes out of the closet. “Kurt?”

            “Don’t,” Kurt snapped when he tried to touch his arm. “Just don’t.”

            “Honey what are you doing?” Blaine’s voice shook.

            “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what is going on,” Kurt snarled. “Playing stupid was never a good look on you.”

            “I don’t understand,” Blaine’s eyes were wide.

            “Give it back,” Kurt held out his hand. “Now Blaine. Give me back the ring.”

            “What!” Blaine took a step back.

            “I can’t do this. Give me back the ring and then you can get the hell out,” Tears began to stream down Blaine’s cheeks and he held his left hand to his chest.

            “Kurt…I don’t know what is happening,” He sobbed out. “Please baby…I don’t understand.”

            “I’m not stupid,” Kurt growled and grabbed his arm, yanking back his sleeves. “I’m not sharing you with the drugs.”

            “Drugs?” Blaine was trembling.

            “Nathan told me you were shooting up in the school bathroom,” Kurt scanned his arms, looking for the new track mark.

            “Wait…what?”

            “He told me this afternoon,” Kurt squeezed his arm.

            “I’m not on drugs,” Blaine sounded hollow.

            “You’ve lied before,” Kurt dropped his arm and Blaine took a step back.

            “I’m not,” Blaine’s face was dark. “You believe Nathan? You’ve met him twice.”

            “Why would he lie about something like that?” Kurt was still angry but a small trickle of doubt began to climb into his mind.

            “Because he’s an asshole,” Blaine snapped. “You were going to throw me out over something an almost stranger told you? You were going to end this because of a rumor?”

            “I…”

            “You know what?” Blaine pulled off his ring and tossed it on the bed. “You’re right. This is over.”

            He grabbed one of the bags and turned around, walking out of the door.

            “Wait!” Kurt scrambled after him. “Blaine! Stop! Let’s talk about this.”

            “There’s nothing to talk about,” Blaine snapped. “I’m going to stay with Cooper. Just…leave me alone.”

            Kurt felt like his chest was caving in as Blaine walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

            It took three days of almost constant calling for Blaine to agree to meet him. Kurt had barely slept, their bed feeling too big and empty. His heart leapt when Blaine knocked on the front door.

            “This is your home too,” Kurt said with a small smile. “You don’t have to knock.”

            “I wasn’t sure,” Blaine said softly, stepping in.

            “I’m sorry,” Kurt blurted out. “I am just so, so, so sorry.”

            “I’m not sure if that’s good enough,” Blaine shook his head. “We were supposed to get married Kurt. We are supposed to trust each other and if something someone just says is enough for you to ask me for the ring back it isn’t going to work. I’m not doing this if this is what our life is going to be life.”

            “I love you,” Kurt reached over to take his hand. “I love you more than anything. You know that I jump to conclusions and I overreact. I didn’t think…”

            “You didn’t.”

            “But I love you,” Kurt squeezed his hand. “I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I trust you.”

            “Do you?”

            “I’m just scared. The thought of that happening terrified me,” Kurt pressed their foreheads together. “It’s a process for both of us. I let myself talk before I could think. I love you so much.”

            “I love you too,” Blaine whispered.

            “Will you marry me again?” Kurt asked shakily, reaching into his pocket for the ring. “I know I’m an idiot but I do love you.”

            “I want to go to couples counseling,” Blaine spoke up.

            “Okay,” Kurt nodded. “We can do that.”

            “Yes, I’ll marry you again,” He smiled softly and Kurt grinned, leaning forward to kiss him.  


	32. Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Kurt meets Lance, the man who abused Blaine.

            Kurt sipped at his rum and coke, glaring down at his phone.

            As happy as he was for Finn and Rachel to finally get married and how romantic it was for them to get married in the auditorium where they first sang together (also it was cheap) he was so done with wedding planning.

            In the middle of planning, mostly Santana arguing that they needed to go to the seedy strip club in town, he had stormed out to Scandals to get a drink. The absolute last thing he wanted was to be harassed by the small minded beer guzzling morons anywhere else.

            “Can I get another?” He raised his hand.

            “It’ll be on me,” A man’s deep voice made him jump. “Can’t let a pretty boy go thirsty can I?”

            “Thanks but no thanks,” Kurt shrugged, not even turning around. “I’m engaged.”

            “That’s too bad,” The man sighed and sat down next to him, only upping Kurt’s irritation.

            “I’m Lance,” The man placed a hand on his waist and Kurt glanced over, frowning at the large man with the thick beard.

            “That’s great.”

            “Not even going to give me the time of day?” Lance laughed. “I like when they play hard to get.”

            “I’m not playing hard to get. I am engaged to be married,” Kurt scowled. “Go. Away.”

            As he snarled out the last word his phone lit up with a text, showing the background image of Blaine, grinning goofily at the camera.

            “You little liar!” Lance grabbed his phone. “You say you’re engaged and don’t fool around?”

            “Give that back.”

            “Because it has been a few years but I don’t forget a face. This was…Bryce? Blaine…that’s right Blaine,” Lance chuckled. “He looks just the same.”

            Kurt completely froze, brain dissolving into white noise.

             _“There was this…this one guy…Lance.”_

_“I was already in pain.”_

_“He…he got really rough.”_

“So you’ve met him too? I was wondering where he went off too,” Lance placed the phone in front of the still Kurt.

             _“He pushed me to my knees.”_

_“He fucked my throat until I passed out even though I tried to pull away.”_

_“I told him to stop.”_

_“He…he raped me. I told him to stop.”_

“You’re Lance?” Kurt’s voice was tight.

            “Um…yes,” The man raised his eyebrows.

            “And you know Blaine?” Kurt glanced down at his phone as Lance smirked a little.

            “Is he your little kept boy?”

            “He’s my fiancé,” Kurt said slowly, watching as Lance’s smile faded. “He told me about you.”

            “I…”

            “He told me how you got him drunk even though he was underage, took him home, choked him on your cock until he passed out and then fucked him even though he asked you to stop,” Kurt’s voice trembled.

            “He never said that,” Lance snapped but the bar was silent, the room staring at him. .

            “He did. You raped him.”

            “I mean…that little whore…”

            Kurt slammed his fist into Lance’s nose hard and the larger man jerked back with a grunt. It didn’t take long for him to snap out of his surprise and Lance got a few punches in before the two men were dragged off of each other.

            “You need to go,” The bouncer snarled at Lance who glared darkly at Kurt, cradling his bloody nose, before stalking out.

            Without another word, Kurt stormed out to his car and drove back to his family’s house where he and Blaine were staying for the wedding. However, he didn’t realize how bad he looked until he stepped into the house.

            “Oh my God!” Carole gasped, hurrying to put down a tray of food she was bringing into the living room where everyone else was watching the game. “Kurt!”

            “What the hell?” Finn jumped up. “Were you attacked? Who hit you?”

            Blaine rushed over and gasped as he took in the bruised jaw and bloody lip. He gently turned Kurt’s face towards him, eyes wide with worry.

            “What happened?”

            “I wasn’t attacked,” Kurt held his hands up.

            “Kurt,” Blaine looked terrified and for a moment Kurt had to imagine what seventeen year old Blaine looked like when that man was hurting him. “Baby, what happened?”

            “I hit him first,” He shrugged before cracking a small smile. “You should see the other guy.”

            “That so isn’t funny,” Blaine said seriously.

            “I went to Scandals to just get a drink…” He sighed and didn’t miss the strange look that crossed Blaine’s face. “I met a guy named Lance. He said he knew you when he saw your picture.”

            Blaine went white.

            “Who is Lance?” Finn asked, confused.

            “No one,” Blaine snapped. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

            Blaine’s hand was a little too tight around his wrist as he pulled him into the bathroom. Kurt stared up at his trembling fiancé as Blaine gently dabbed his lip with the damp cloth.

            “Blaine…”

            “Don’t,” He shook his head firmly.

            Kurt’s heart pounded heavily. For years he had pictured Blaine’s past as a bad cop show grainy flashback. He pictured it with bad lighting and men who looked like the obvious criminals from television shows.

            He never imagined a man who he would never look twice at, thinking he was normal. He never imagined actually looking his fiance’s rapist in the eye.

            It was so real.

            “I’m sorry.”

            “How stupid can you be? What if he files a police report?” Blaine glared at him through the thick rimmed glasses he wore when he relaxed.

            “We’ll tell them what he did to you.”

            “And what? They’ll just go on the word of a former drug addicted teenager? It would never hold up in court,” Blaine thrust the cloth back under the faucet. “That was so stupid.”

            “I wasn’t thinking about going to court or him filing a police report,” Kurt snapped. “He told me that he wanted to buy me a drink because he couldn’t let a pretty boy go thirsty.”

            Blaine went stiff.

            “He said the same thing to you didn’t he?” Blaine didn’t respond. “How many other boys do you think he did that to?”

            “I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT!” Blaine suddenly shouted, his voice echoing in the bathroom.

            “I cant stop!” Kurt spun around and took his hand. “Now that I’ve seen him I can’t stop thinking about it.”

            Blaine scowled.

            “That monster hurt you,” Kurt snarled. “He bragged about it and all I wanted was to hurt him back.”

            Blaine shook his head firmly.

            “I would do it again.”

            “I’m finally getting over this Kurt,” Blaine scrubbed his hands over his face.

            “I think we should go to the police,” He sighed when Blaine shook his head again. “At the very least we can make sure that there is a report.”

            “I don’t know…”

            “Blaine,” Kurt sighed.

            “I would just rather not go to court and talk about how I was raped when I was whoring myself for drugs at seventeen,” Blaine snapped back.

            “What if it happens to someone else?”

            Blaine hesitated.

            “Clearly this monster has been doing this for years and years,” Kurt rolled his eyes. “A little pathetic.”

            “I’m so tired Kurt,” Blaine braved his hands against the sink, sighing. “I’m tired of trying to forget. I never wanted you to be involved in this.”

            “You’re my everything and I like to think I’m yours,” At Blaine’s nod he smiled. “How can I be your everything when you hide from me. We’re making vows soon, through better or worse.”

            Blaine glanced over at him, tears shining in his eyes.

            “Fine.”

            “What?”

            “We’ll make a report,” He leaned down to kiss Kurt, pulling back when the pressure on his hurt lip made him wince.


	33. Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: After Blaine leaves rehab, he deals with serious urges to use again. One particular night Cooper and Sam are busy and he really wants to talk to Kurt but he’s not sure if he should bother him with this.

         His hand was twitching.

 

                Blaine sucked a deep breath in through his teeth and winced as his left hand twitched on his thigh. He tightened his grip on his calculus book and ground his teeth together, tensing.

 

                It had been a really tough week. He had failed a calculus exam which wasn’t such a huge deal since he had already been accepted into college but it was his first exam back from rehab. Blaine had studied his ass off and getting back that 62 was beyond disappointing. He also had just moved all this things into Cooper’s apartment and Glee was preparing for regionals.

 

                So he was so glad it was Friday. Instead of going out, Blaine had opted to stay in dressed in pajamas and work on Calculus homework. Cooper was out on a date, finally having gone after Blaine convinced him several times he was going to be okay, so he had the apartment to himself.

 

                A sudden choked noise crept out of his throat as his hand jerked again and Blaine felt himself break out into a sweat. For a moment he was worried that he had the flu when it hit him like a train.

 

                He was craving a hit.

 

                As soon as the realization hit it increased tenfold. He was shivering and breathing harder, closing his eyes as his skin began to crawl.

 

                He needed to talk to someone.

 

                His legs jerked with small aborted attempts to get up and get out of the room and he let out a trembling breath. His hand kept twitching and jerking and he quickly grabbed his phone.

 

 

                Blaine stared at his phone for a long time. Cooper was finally on a date. He was finally doing something for himself after rooting up his entire life to take care of his little brother. He couldn’t interrupt them because he knew for sure that Cooper wouldn’t hesitate a second to rush over.

 

                His finger hovered over his friend’s name before he remembered that Sam was going to Kentucky to visit his parents this weekend. An ache at remembering how his own parents had abandoned him made him continue scanning through his contacts.

 

 

                He had always promised to answer whenever Blaine called. For a moment the craving to hear Kurt’s voice outweighed the craving for the drugs and he tapped on his name, holding the phone up to his ear.

 

                “Hey Blaine!” Kurt sounded a little breathless. “What’s up? You’re calling late.”

               

                “Hey,” He put his book aside and curled up on his side.

               

                “What’s going on?”

 

                “I just…needed to hear your voice,” He sighed, hand twitching.

 

                “Are you okay?” The worry made him smile a little.

 

                “I think so.”

 

                “Blaine,” He could just picture the sharp look Kurt was giving the phone.

 

                “I’m alone right now,” His voice sounded tight to his own ears. “And I just…keep thinking. I’m shaking and sweating and just…craving.”

 

                “Oh…okay,” He heard Kurt sit down on his own bed.

 

                “I’m sorry,” Blaine clenched his twitching hand into a fist. “I shouldn’t have called.”

 

                “No! It’s fine!” Kurt said quickly. “I wasn’t blowing you off or anything. I’m just not sure how to deal with this you know? But I want to help. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

 

                “I failed my calculus test,” Tears pricked his eyes and he angrily wiped them away.

 

                “You have Johnson right? He’s an asshole,” Kurt scoffed. “Plus you’re already in college so you don’t really have to worry about grades right now.”

 

                “You’re right. I’m being silly,” Blaine whispered and winced when he heard Kurt sigh.

 

                “No you’re not.” Kurt said softly. “I am just not good at talking about anything but myself. I want to try though. Please Blaine, you’re not being silly.”

 

                “It was the first test I took when I got back from rehab,” Blaine curled up a little tighter. “I thought I was all better. I thought things were going to go back to how they were.”

 

                “Just because you failed a test doesn’t mean that you have completely undone everything you have accomplished in rehab.”

 

                “That’s not what I meant,” Blaine bit his lip. “What was the point of going through all of that if I haven’t improved?”

 

                “But you have!”

 

                “No,” Blaine stared forward at the unpacked cardboard boxes. “I mean…I’ve kicked the drugs but I still crave them all the time. My grades suck. I get flashbacks and have nightmares. This wasn’t…easy.”

 

                “It isn’t supposed to be.”

 

                “How do you know?” Blaine snapped suddenly. “Seriously Kurt? How can you possibly know?”

 

                “I don’t,” Kurt said softly and Blaine closed his eyes. “I don’t know but maybe if you tell me I can help. I want to help.”

 

                “I know you do,” Blaine whispered. “I’m sorry.”

 

            “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

 

            “I want a hit,” He blurted out. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 

            “But you called me instead,” Blaine smiled shakily.

 

            “Yeah. I called you.”

 

            “So tell me about it,” He heard Kurt sigh.

 

            “About what? Everything?” Blaine huffed out a laugh.

 

            “What got you thinking about this?” Blaine sighed, closing his eyes and twisted his fingers in his comforter.

 

            “There is this one time that keeps playing through my head,” His hand shot up and waved near his head. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 

            “Tell me.”

 

            “Kurt, it’s…”

 

            “Tell me. Tell me everything. Don’t hide something just because you think it is too much.”

 

            “I went home with this guy,” Blaine ran his fingers through his hair and gripped his curls. “He had just divorced his wife and those kind of guys were my favorite to go home with. They usually were more…I don’t know…thankful that I was there. Anyway, I got high in his kitchen and we slept together. I kind of sang along to the music he played…”

 

            “What song?”

 

            “The Needle and the Damage Done,” Blaine smiled tightly. “Funny right? And when I was done he started talking about how amazing I was and how much he wanted me to kick the habit. He said that…I matter…and all I could think of was your dad. I just kept hearing your dad talk to me and I realized how fucked I was.”

 

            “Oh Blaine…”

 

            “I wanted to kill myself. I lay in bed that night and went through all the options. Sitting in my car in a closed garage, slitting my wrists, overdosing on drugs or pills, hanging myself…you know. I knew no one was going to find me,” He blinked furiously, trying to clear his vision of tears. “I mean…I have never felt so alone in my life.”

 

            “Blaine,” He squeezed his eyes tight as he recognized the choked sound as Kurt crying. “I am so, so happy you are here.”

 

            “Kurt…”

 

            “I don’t even want to think about what would happen if you died,” Kurt sobbed.

 

            “I’d hope at least you’d help plan a beautiful funeral,” Blaine tried to joke but it fell flat.

 

            “Blaine you have no idea how happy I am that you are still here. I know you were hurting but I’m so happy you made the choice to keep living,” Blaine wiped his eyes. “And that guy was using you but my dad is right, you do matter. You matter so much.”

 

            Blaine didn’t reply, just laying there and breathing deep.

 

            “Talk to me,” Kurt sounded a little desperate.

 

            “I’m okay,” Blaine stared at his still hands. “Tell me about New York. How is NYADA?”

 

            “Hard. Tough. Painful. Tell me about how school is going? How is Glee?” Blaine’s heart pounded a little and he smiled.

 

            “It’s pretty crazy actually…” 


	34. Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: During an argument Kurt brings up the drugs and cheating

           Benji was a blessing. The moment the screaming baby was placed in their arms both Kurt and Blaine fell in love. Benji was a perfect baby, developing normally and was normally healthy besides reoccurring ear infections.

 

            At three in the morning Blaine was pacing in their living room, trying to gently bounce and calm the screaming baby.

           

            “This is the third night,” Kurt grumbled, bringing over the warmed bottle. “He’s hardly slept.”

 

            “I know,” Blaine snapped back, trying to keep his voice soft. “We’ve used those damn drops and the doctor says we just need to rest.”

 

            “I mean…he has these all the time,” Kurt scrubbed his hands through his messy hair. “What if he loses his hearing? Or has brain damage? Or he-“

 

            “Christ Kurt!” Blaine spun around, red rimmed eyes flashing. “I know! I was fucking there when the doctor was talking to us!”

 

            “I know! I can’t worry?” Kurt glared.

 

            “You don’t need to keep going on and on and on and on,” He waved his hand a few times, wincing as Benji let out a particularly shrill scream.

 

            “God,” He grumbled.

 

            “I mean, it’s summer so I’m here all the fucking time while you’re at work,” Blaine bounced the baby. “He wont fucking stop crying or screaming and you get to run out to your job for eight hours a day while he drives me fucking crazy.”

 

            “Stop cursing in front of the baby!”

 

            “He doesn’t understand me!”

 

            “Just because your morals are a little lax doesn’t mean you have to push them on our child,” Kurt tightened his hold on his coffee cup.

 

            “My morals?”

 

            “I mean you used to be so proper before you slept around and got high,” As soon as the words left his mouth Kurt wished he could just bring them back in. Blaine’s eyes widened slightly and he stopped bouncing the baby. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

 

            “Hmm…” Blaine’s mouth tightened.

 

            “Blaine, I didn’t mean that. I’m tired and stressed,” He stared down at the coffee.

 

            “I get it.”

 

            “Blaine…”

 

            “No,” Blaine shrugged and Kurt glanced up when his husband’s voice shook. “I understand. You don’t want my shady past influencing our child. Should I only have supervised visits with him? God know I don’t want him to get anything from me.”

 

            “Blaine I’m sorry,” Kurt took a step forward.

 

            “I mean do you want my hands on him knowing that I touched other men for drugs? Do you want me talking to him knowing that I dirty talked to guys? I mean should I even look at him?”

 

            “I’m tired Blaine. I’m tired and stressed.”

 

            “I AM TOO!” Blaine shouted, making Benji scream. “You’re not in this alone. This is not a poor Kurt show. Christ! I’m exhausted! I wonder every day if I am a good father. I wonder every day if somehow the way I fucked up is going to impact his life. I don’t need you second guessing me too.”

 

            “I’m not…”

 

            “You are,” Blaine grit his teeth. “Watching me constantly, questioning me, telling me to watch my fucking language!”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Kurt whispered.

 

            “We talked about this in therapy. We’re supposed to trust each other and I can’t deal with staying home with the baby all day and then you coming home and questioning every little thing I do. I am trying my hardest.”

 

            “Sweetheart,” Kurt sighed, taking a few steps forward. “I love you. We are both exhausted and stressed. I never, ever should have said what I said.”

 

            “It doesn’t matter. What you don’t say you are still thinking,” Blaine mumbled.

 

            Kurt closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.

 

            “I love you,” He gave Blaine a small smile. “I’m saying that and thinking that all the time. Will your past come back to us? Absolutely. I want to go through it with you though. I’m here with you.”

 

            Blaine was silent as he bounced Benji who had finally gone quiet.

 

            “He loves you,” Kurt smiled at the baby who was resting his head on his husband’s shoulder.

 

            “He’ll be okay,” Blaine gently ran his hand over Benji’s messy hair. “I had ear infections all the time when I was a kid.”

 

            “He’s asleep,” Kurt smiled. “Put him in the crib.”

 

            As they collapsed into bed together, almost holding their breath for fear of waking Benji, Kurt turned to kiss his husband deeply.

 

            “Baby I’m way too tired,” Blaine smiled slightly and pulled back.

 

            “Tell me when you have those thoughts,” Kurt reached forward to run his thumb along Blaine’s neck. “That was what we talked about in therapy. I want to know your fears and doubts. We’re not this perfect, happy little family and that is okay. Maybe we can get closer if we are open an honest.”

 

            Blaine smiled and nodded, kissing his husband lightly.

 

            “Let’s go to sleep.”

 


	35. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Blaine breaks a major bone and has to have pain meds and surgery and Kurt has a really hard time calming him down

               It happened too fast for Blaine to really know what was happening.

 

                One minute he was carrying his things to the car and the next he was flat on his back on a patch of ice with pain radiating up through his arm.

 

                “Blaine?” He heard Kurt gasp through the rushing in his ears. “Honey?”

 

                “I’m okay,” He breathed, squeezing his eyes shut for a minute and taking a deep breath.

 

                “No, I heard a snap,” That now too familiar edge of panic in Kurt’s voice made his heart pick up. “Give me your arm.”

 

                “I’m fine.”

 

                He let out an embarrassingly high pitched yelp when Kurt took his arm in both hands and shook his head.

 

                “I think it’s broken,” Kurt said softly. “We need to go to the hospital.”

 

                “No, no,” Blaine struggled to sit up. “I’m totally fine Kurt.”

 

                “It’s at a funny angle.”

 

                “The pioneers didn’t go to hospitals. They just toughed it out or they were eaten by bears,” He nearly blacked out when he tried to stand. “I’m just going to cowboy up and go to work.”

 

                “Don’t ever say cowboy up again,” Kurt said slowly. “And get in the damn car.”

 

                They stared each other down for a few long moments before Blaine nodded and followed his husband into the car. He winced and gasped at every little bump, hardly able to make it through his phone call to the school asking for a sub.

 

                “I just need like a brace or something,” Blaine sighed as he followed Kurt into the ER. “We shouldn’t even waste their time.”

 

                Kurt ignored him as he filled in the paperwork and soon Blaine just scowled and sulked in the chair next to him.

 

                “Mr. Anderson-Hummel?” A sweet looking plump nurse called out, beaming at them.

 

                “Here!” Kurt led Blaine after her into a small room.

 

                “Tell me why you are here dear,” She smiled and Blaine glanced over to look at her name badge.

 

                “Well Ester, I slipped on some ice and hurt my arm,” Blaine shrugged, unable to hold back a wince. “It’s just a bad bruise but my husband is a worrier.”

 

                “It looks broken,” She nodded down at the rapidly bruising wrist. “We’ll get you in for an x-ray right away.”

 

                “Really, just a sling…”

 

                “Sweetie, x-rays are nothing to be afraid of,” She gave him a bright smile and tapped something into a nearby computer. “They’re going to bring the machine in soon and I’ll go grab a doctor. Sit tight.”

 

                “Okay, what is going on?” Kurt turned to Blaine as soon as she left. “It’s pretty obviously broken. Why won’t you just let them fix it?”

 

                “Because fixing a broken arm usually requires some kind of pain medication,” Blaine snapped back. “I just, just finished going through withdrawal for the second time three weeks ago. I don’t want anything running through my body. Not even aspirin.”

 

                “Okay!” A man with thick framed glasses and duck print scrubs came in. “My name is Dr. Keller but you can call me Mike. This is Paula and she’ll be performing an x-ray on you.”

 

                The bored looking woman made sure Blaine’s arm was resting on a platform before it whirred and she turned it off. Without another word she left the room and returned with a folder, handing it to the doctor.

 

                “Hmm,” Dr. Keller looked at the x-rays, frowning. “Looks like you do have a bad break in your wrist.”

 

                Blaine groaned loudly.

 

                “And I hate to say it but we are going to have to go into surgery,” Both Kurt and Blaine stiffened. “It’s a very simple procedure that takes a little over an hour. My very good friend is  an orthopedic surgeon and-“

 

                “No.”

 

                “I’m sorry?” Keller paused.

 

                “No surgery. I can heal without it right?” Blaine kept his arm cradled to his chest.

 

                “I mean…we could just put it in a cast but it would be the absolute last resort. There would be a high chance of nerve damage and loss of mobility.”

 

                “I don’t care,” Blaine shook his head firmly.

 

                “Blaine…” Kurt sighed.

               

                “No,” Blaine grit his teeth against the pain. “No surgery.”

 

                “Don’t be stupid,” Kurt looked hard at him. “It’s a simple surgery.”

 

                “It involves pain meds and anesthesia,” Blaine snapped.

 

                “I know anesthesia is scary…” Keller started.

 

                “I’m a recovering drug addict. I don’t want that in me,” Blaine shook his head again. “No surgery.”

 

                “You’re not going to relapse,” Kurt whispered.

 

                “I said that before,” He spat, eyes narrowing. “I said that before and look what happened. I’m barely a month clean.”

 

                “I have a friend who works in the addiction center. She can come and worth with you after the procedure to make sure that you feel comfortable,” Blaine relaxed slightly.

 

                “No.”

 

                “If there is damage you won’t be able to play the piano or the guitar,” Kurt said quickly, turning his face towards him. “Is it really worth losing the things you love? No more piano. No more guitar.”

 

                “Kurt…”

 

                “I’ll be with you the entire time,” Kurt cupped his face with his hands. “You will be just fine.”

 

            “I don’t want to be on pain meds after,” Blaine said softly.

 

            “You can do that,” Keller gave him a smile. “It’ll be hard but you can do it. I can schedule the surgery for this afternoon.”

 

            “Fine,” Blaine sighed and Kurt pressed a kiss to his forehead.

 

            “You’ll be just fine Blaine,” Keller tapped a few keys on the computer. “I’m going to get you set up in a room and contact the anesthesiologist.”

 

            Blaine was staring intently at the wall, body stiff.

 

            “I’ll need to call Benji,” Kurt flipped through his phone and Blaine nodded slowly.

 

            “Hi!” Benji almost sang as he answered.

 

            “Benji, your father and I are in the hospital. He broke his wrist and is going to get surgery but he will be fine,” Kurt gave his husband a warm smile.

 

            “Are you sure? Do you want me to come over?” The obvious worry in their son’s voice tugged at Kurt’s heart.

 

            “No,” He sighed. “I’ll give you a call when he gets out of surgery. We should be home by tonight.”

 

            “Keep me updated?”

 

            “Of course,” Kurt glanced over to his husband. “I love you.”

 

            “Love you too! Give dad my love!”

 

            Kurt smiled softly and said goodbye as another nurse came in. When Blaine was being prepped for surgery he was getting more and more pale.

 

            “It’s normal to be nervous,” A nurse smiled. “If you want I can totally slip you the good stuff.”

 

            “No,” Blaine sharp tone made the teasing smile slip off her face.

 

            “The anesthesiologist will be right in,” She glanced down at her clipboard. “Would you like to follow me into the waiting room sir?”

 

            “Can I wait until he’s under?” Kurt asked, squeezing Blaine’s good hand.

 

            “Of course,” She gave them a warm smile and slipped out of the room.

 

            “I can’t,” Blaine whispered, hand trembling in Kurt’s.

 

            “You can,” Kurt kissed his temple. “You are strong and brave. You’ve been through so much so you can get through this.”

 

            “Alright Mr. Anderson-Hummel!” An overweight older man came in with a few vials. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

 

            Blaine began to swallow convulsively, eyes snapping to the ceiling as the IV slid into his hand. The anesthesiologist injected some of the medication into the IV and within seconds Blaine’s head was bobbing.

 

            “Kurt?” He whimpered.

 

            “You’re fine baby,” Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine’s messy curls.

 

            “What’s happening?” His eyes were wide, making him look far younger than he was.

 

            “We’re taking you back for surgery,” The anesthesiologist said, voice deep and warm.

 

            “I don’t wanna,” His voice slurred, hand slipping in Kurt’s. “No.”

 

            “Just go to sleep.”

 

            “Kurt I’m scared,” Blaine whimpered as his eyes slid shut.

 

            “We’ll take good care of him,” A nurse patted Kurt on the back and started leading him away from his husband. “Let me take you to the waiting room.”

           

            Those words echoed in Kurt’s mind the entire time Blaine was in surgery, in recovery, while they were driving home and when he was gently holding Blaine as he suffered through the pain without any medication.

 

             _I’m scared._

God he hoped Blaine never found out how scared he was sometimes. 


	36. Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Blaine wakes up in the middle of the night and hear’s Kurt on the phone with someone. He only hears the end of the conversation and it misunderstands, whether its about him or something that sounds like Kurt could be cheating, up to you

         Blaine liked to imagine the first thing he noticed when he woke up on his first Saturday off in as long as he could remember to be the birds singing or the sunlight streaming over him.

 

            But the only thing he could hear out of their tiny apartment was sirens and the deep beat of someone’s music up way too loud and the sun was blocked by a higher building next to them.

 

            But it was theirs.

 

            He stretched out on their bed and frowned when he didn’t automatically feel his boyfriend next to him. With a sigh, he glanced over to the empty side of the bed and sighed again when his stomach grumbled.

 

            With French toast on the mind, Blaine slipped on his boxers and padded out into the hallway.

 

            “I don’t know dad,” He heard Kurt sigh and smiled. “I’m just…really upset.”

 

            Blaine froze, trying to think about why Kurt could possibly be upset.

 

            “It’s just he’s…he’s really stressed and I don’t think he can get through this without sliding back into his old ways,” Kurt was leaning against the counter, phone nestled in his shoulder as he ate a yogurt.

 

            Blaine completely froze, eyes wide and held his breath.

 

            “No,” Kurt shrugged. “Dad…no. I’ve given him too many chances.”

 

            Tears sprung to Blaine’s eyes and he felt like his heart was pounding hard in his chest.

 

            “Plus there’s this guy I’ve been seeing for a while.”

 

            It was like the floor had been ripped out from underneath him.

 

            “No, he’s awesome, so much better. I just feel like I don’t have to pretend any more or…or be with him because I feel sorry for him. Not when I’ve found someone better for me.”

 

            Blaine spun on his heel and stumbled blindly back to the bedroom. He had been through some horrible things in his life but never had he felt this horrible crushing pain in his chest. It was like his heart was being crushed into a pulp.

 

            Kurt was with him out of pity.

 

            Kurt was seeing someone else.

 

            “Hey honey,” Soft lips pressed at the back of his neck and Blaine blinked furiously. “I have breakfast getting started out in the kitchen. Want to join me?”

 

            “I don’t feel good,” Blaine whispered.

 

            “Do you want me to bring something in here?” Kurt pressed the back of his hand against Blaine’s forehead.

 

            “No.”

 

            Kurt paused for a moment before rubbing his back.

 

            “Okay…well you go back to sleep. I am going to slip out soon, I have some things to do,” Blaine squeezed his eyes tighter.

 

            “Okay.”

 

            As soon as the front door shut tears began to stream down his face and he curled up into a tight ball.

 

            Maybe somewhere in his mind he always knew this day would come. One day Kurt would realize that Blaine would never be the person he was. He would wait the appropriate time before pulling away and then breaking up with him.

 

            His chest grew tighter and tighter and he sobbed, twisting his hands into the sheets.

 

            Should he just let Kurt go?

 

            Should he try to convince Kurt to stay?”

 

            His mind whirled with thoughts and ideas for the rest of the day and by the time Kurt came home he was exhausted. Blaine watched sadly from the couch as Kurt walked into the room humming and smiling.

 

            He’s so happy.

 

            “Sweetheart,” Kurt pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You look horrible.”

 

            “I feel it.”

 

            “No fever,” Kurt leaned back. “I can order your favorite Thai food?”

 

            “No,” Blaine shook his head, heart picking up. “Let’s order Italian. That’s your favorite.”

 

            “Are you sure?”

 

            “Of course,” Blaine took his hand and smiled shakily. Kurt gave his boyfriend a strange look before calling in the order. While they waited for the delivery Kurt was smiling and texting on his phone which only made Blaine more upset. It was just like what had happened with Chandler.

 

            “Okay, what’s wrong?” Kurt raised his eyebrows.

 

            “Nothing.”

 

            “Blaine…”

 

            “I love you,” He said quickly. “I really love you.”

 

            “I love you too,” The confusion was slowly replaced by fear. “Is there something wrong?”

 

            Blaine just gave him a smile.

 

            That night Blaine was so grateful that they had sex with him on his hands and knees so Kurt couldn’t see the tears streaming down his face.

 

            When Kurt left early the next morning for work, kissing him on the temple before sliding out of bed, Blaine still pretended to sleep.

 

            He had two choices.

 

            He could confront Kurt and tell him that that he heard everything. Kurt would be horrified that he knew but maybe a little happy that he could finally leave. They would go their separate ways, Kurt would be happy with his new boyfriend and Blaine would eventually find happiness.

 

            Or he could try to prove to Kurt that he was worth keeping around. He could work harder, try harder, to please him. He would be everything Kurt wanted in a boyfriend. It would be…just like what had happened before.

 

            Mind made up Blaine prepared himself for dinner that night. He made a simple pasta dish, relishing in Kurt’s surprised smile when he saw.

 

            “Look at you moving around!” Kurt laughed, helping him put the pasta into bowls. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

 

            Blaine gave him a nervous smile and took a bite, hardly able to swallow.

 

            “So, what is the problem?” Kurt leaned forward.

 

            “Kurt…” Blaine felt tears building up in his eyes and scrubbed at his face. “If…If you want to go you can.”

 

            “What?” Kurt reached across the table, taking his hand.

 

            “I heard your call,” He gave Kurt a watery smile. “And I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to stay with me just because you feel like you have to.”

 

            Kurt sat back in his chair, confusion clear on his face.

 

            “I love you but I know this hasn’t been the easiest relationship. I tried but I understand if you…”

 

            “Wait! Wait!” Kurt threw his hands up. “What phone call?”

 

            “To your dad,” He could feel his chest hitching with repressed sobs. “You said that you were worried I was going to slide back into my old ways and that you’ve given me too many chances. You said you were with me because you felt sorry for me and that you met someone better. If you did then I am happy for you. I want you to be happy.”

 

            “Oh,” Kurt’s eyes widened after a long silence. “Oh! Blaine, baby! No, no, no!”

 

            His hands scrambled to grab both of Blaine’s.

 

            “I was talking about Liam, the guy in one of my study groups. He used to be a slacker and even though he got better he has begun to slack off on our project again. I was talking about doing the project with Paul since he is so much more organized. That call wasn’t about you at all. Oh God, I’m so sorry you thought that!”

 

            “So…”

 

            “I love you. I’m with you because I am completely, crazily in love with you,” Blaine’s body completely relaxed. “I’m not leaving. You’re stuck with me.”

 

            “God,” Blaine let out a breathless laugh, placing a hand over his chest. “My heart is racing.”

 

            Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine’s hands, smiling.

 

            “I will say that I’m really proud of you for saying something. You would have done anything to make me stay before at any personal cost. While I’m so happy we’re not breaking up I am proud that you were able to talk to me,” He squeezed his hands again.

 

            “I just want you to be happy.”

 

            “That’s all I want for you,” Kurt laughed. “I want to make you happy. I’ll do anything I can to do that.”


	37. Pasta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from gleefullynerdy: How about Blaine and Kurt running into Dave and Sebastian post-rehab?

        “Angel hair or the tube kind?” Blaine held up two boxes of pasta.

 

            “Penne Blaine,” Kurt fought a smile. “It’s penne.”

 

            “Whatever. Angel hair or tubes?”

 

            “Angel hair,” Kurt nodded. “But the whole wheat one!” 

 

            Blaine pouted but put a box of whole wheat angel hair pasta in the shopping cart. Kurt pretended not to notice as Blaine added a box of penne as well, glancing over to his husband.

 

            Benji gurgled happily from the cart, slapping his chubby little hands on the handle. With a smile, Blaine wiggled his fingers in front of his son who let out a shriek of laughter.

 

            “Do my eyes deceive me?” A sudden familiar voice made them glance to the other end of the aisle. “Is it the dream team? Plus…baby?”

 

            “Sebastian?” Blaine squinted a little before grinning.

 

            Sebastian was dressed in expensive jeans, a yellow polo and a navy blazer. While still handsome he definitely looked older than the last time they saw him.

 

            “Davey!” Sebastian called out, leaning back a bit. “Guess who’s here!”

 

            “Dave is here too?” Kurt raised his eyebrows.

 

            A few moments later they were shaking hands with both men, Dave looking much more fit and like he had grown another two inches.

 

            “And who’s this?” Dave looked down at Benji, eyes lighting up.

 

            “This is Benji,” Blaine ruffled his fingers through his son’s hair. “He’s eighteen months old.”

 

            “What a cutie,” Sebastian pursed his lips.

 

            “And you two are still together? That’s great!” Blaine nodded, still smiling.

 

            “Oh no, no, no!” Sebastian laughed loudly, shaking his head. “No, no, no! We’re in town for Dave’s bachelor party.”

 

            “Really?”

 

            “We tried the dating thing,” Dave winced, shifting his feet a little. “But it didn’t work out.”

 

            “Not at all,” Sebastian grinned. “So then Dave met Josh and magic happened. I’m just honored to be his best man.”

 

            “That’s wonderful Dave!” Kurt gave him a soft smile. “I’m so happy for you!”

 

            “And you two are married?” Dave nodded towards the matching rings and smiled when the couple beamed. “And with a kid! Josh and I just had our adoption paperwork accepted.”

 

            “Benji is Blaine’s biologically but our surrogate was my cousin,” Kurt glanced down when Benji grabbed onto his finger.

 

            “Yeah, I got pretty lucky,” Blaine smiled, placing a hand on his son’s back.

 

            There was a short silence before Blaine cleared his throat.

 

            “So I’m still going to NA meetings. I’ve been clean since I went to rehab and don’t plan on relapsing any time soon,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And I don’t think I would be here with a wonderful husband and beautiful baby without you both. You called Cooper and you found me and you saved my life.”

 

            “I’m so happy that you got better,” Sebastian said softly, sounding so different than Kurt had ever heard him. “If anyone deserves it you do.”

 

            “I like to think it was fate,” Dave spoke up. “You were meant to be helped and we were just in the right place at the right time.”

 

            “I never got to thank you either,” Kurt stepped forward. “You both were there when I couldn’t be.”

 

            “Enough of the sappy speeches!” Sebastian waved his hands a little but Kurt could tell he was fighting a smile. “I just wanted to ask if you knew some kind of awesome bar or strip club we could go to tonight but since you are now…daddies…I bet not.”

 

            “We’re not going to a strip club.”

 

            “Oh yes we are.”

 

            “Sorry but I can’t think of any,” Blaine smiled. “Not really my scene anymore.”

 

            “Pity,” Sebastian sighed. “Guess we’re going to have to rent some pornos or something.”

 

            “No we’re not!”

 

            “Dave, it’s not a bachelor party unless there are dicks and alcohol.”

 

            “That’s true,” Blaine nodded. “I didn’t drink but Cooper planned mine and every single thing was penis shaped. Which is especially fun since most of the guys there were straight.”

 

            Sebastian laughed loudly and nudged Dave until he shrugged.

 

            “Well we were just going to get pretzels and oreos,” Sebastian glanced down at their cart. “We’re in party food mode. I feel like I’m going to have to eat nothing but kale after this week.”

 

            “Have fun and congratulations Dave,” Kurt squeezed Dave’s arm and shook Sebastian’s hand.

 

            “Don’t get too crazy,” Blaine teased.

 

            As soon as the two turned a corner Kurt burst into giggles and tried to cover his mouth with his hand.

 

            “Oh my God they’re like a bad sitcom!”


	38. Recover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from cerseilanisters: could you possible write what happens in between blaine seeing that hooker and going home? i really want to know how he felt right before and right after shooing up.

       _Oh fuck._

_What have I done?_

_Oh God._

_No. No. No._

Blaine almost tripped over his feet as he followed the huddled woman deeper into the alley. She gave him a smile full of rotted teeth and held out a little baggie.

 

            “Some sugar for you, sugar?”

 

             _No._

_I have to go back to my son._

_I’ve been sober for eighteen years._

“Yeah.”

 

            He reached into his wallet and pulled out all the cash he had.

 

            “I don’t have a needle or anything,” She shrugged. “I gotta go back to my corner. Stay warm out here sugar.”

 

            Blaine stood in that alley for what felt like hours. He reflexively squeezed around the little baggie again and again, staring down at the brown powder.

 

            Before the rational part of his brain could say anything else he dumped some into his hand and brought it up to his nostril, inhaling deeply.

 

            It was like he had been hit like lightening.

 

            His head snapped back and he stared for a long moment at the swirling white drifting down from the sky. His fingers tingled and it felt like his lung could expand three times what they could before.

 

             _Kurt was going to leave him._

_But it felt so good._

_What would Benji think?_

_But it felt so good._

_He was going to lose everything._

_But it felt so good._

With trembling fingers he wiped at his nose and inhaled deeply a few times. Blaine let out a sigh, tucking the baggie into his back pocket. He tried to take a few steps but stumbled and fell into a brick wall, bracing himself with his hands.

 

            “You’re looking better sugar,” The woman giggled as he walked out on numb feet. “Let me know if you want to party. I have some very hot guy friends with huge dicks. We can all have a good time.”

 

            “Yeah…” Blaine nodded, walking away a little.

 

            The fire was spreading through his quickly and all he wanted was to feel alive. He wanted to be held. He wanted to be fucked. He wanted to be held down.

 

            He could remember how good it felt when he would walk through the bars looking for someone to sleep with. It made him feel in control. The men chose him because they wanted him. They told him how beautiful he was. How good he was. He was in control.

 

             _His hands shook hard as he pressed them into the wound. Blaine’s breathing sped up as he realized that Benji might die. No matter what he did he could still lose him._

But he did have control over that little bad of powder.

 

            He stumbled home, hardly able to keep track of what street he was on and opened the door.  

 

            “Hey! Where were you? I tried calling you like ten times!”

 

            “I…just needed some time to myself.”


	39. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: can you write more about blaine’s time while he was on drugs? Either people at school noticing things, the men he was sleeping with, or himself.

    Brad

  

            Brad. Hates. Everyone.

 

 

            But Blaine? He likes Blaine.

 

            When every student just walks by him like he’s furniture or just assumes that he can keep up with the insane rehearsal schedule. He has to be there every time they want to serenade each other and he can hardly keep track of their stupid relationships anyway.

 

            Then Blaine transferred.

 

            Blaine would always approach him with a warm smile and sheet music. He would always apologize for putting extra work on Brad. He would always say hello and wave goodbye.

 

            Brad noticed that Blaine became withdrawn after Kurt left. The smile and spark seemed to leave and then completely fizzled out when the breakup happened. He started dressing more casually, sitting in the back, and refusing solos.

 

            Something was wrong.

 

            Brad noticed his shaky hands, the way Blaine’s eyes would flit around the room or the dazed expression on his face sometimes.

 

            Then Blaine blew up and quit glee club, storming out of the room.

 

            Something was wrong but Brad had never been very good at speaking up.

 

Will

 

            Will was so frustrated.

 

            He knew that Blaine was having a hard time getting over the breakup. It was so obvious that Blaine was so in love with Kurt and after the breakup he just changed.

 

            This quiet, angry person was nothing like the Blaine he remembered.

 

            After Blaine quit Will started getting worried. Part of being a high school teacher was that he was used to constant breakups and relationship changes but something about how Blaine was handling it was a little scary.

 

            He would wander through the halls; either dazed looking or shaking and fidgeting. He hated to see his star performer clearly suffering.

 

            “Blaine?” He called out as Blaine passed him in the hall and smiled at him. “Can I talk to you?”

 

            “I have stuff to do.”

 

            “Please,” He pleaded. “I really think we should talk.”

 

            “Is this like…an intervention?” Will was a little confused and shook his head. With a sigh, Blaine followed him into his Spanish classroom.

 

            “Is something wrong?” He asked point blank.

 

            “No.”

 

            Will took a moment to really look at the teenager in front of him. Blaine was wearing skinny jeans and a hoodie. His eyes were red and still rimmed with some smeared eyeliner that looked like he had slept in it. Frowning, Will noticed the trace of glitter in his messy hair.

 

            “Really?”

 

            “I’m fine.”

 

            “I know you’re still hurting from the breakup,” Will said softly and for a moment something in Blaine’s expression fractured. “Breakups are hard. When I split with my wife I was depressed for a very long time.”

 

            “Mmhmm.”

 

            “If you need help I know that Ms. Pillsbury can talk to you or can recommend someone for you to talk to,” Blaine gave him a sort of twisted smile.

 

            “Thanks Mr. Schue. I guess I…I just have had some trouble dealing with it all. I’m just sad all the time. Thanks, I think I just needed someone to notice.”

 

            “I’m happy to help,” Will gave him a warm smile.

 

             

            “I think I just need some time to get over it,” Blaine sighed. “Thanks Mr. Schue.”

 

            “Of course,” Will pulled him into a hug.

 

            “I have to go to class,” Blaine twisted out of the hug. “See you later.”

 

            Will smiled as he left, proud of himself for reaching out. He turned around as Blaine walked out and didn’t see the teenager roll his eyes as he left.

 

Matthew

            Matthew remembered Blaine. He had watched the sweet boy dance with his boyfriend, eyes bright and smile wide. When the boy’s friend came over to get another drink he leaned over.

 

            “So…the dark haired boy?” He asked and the friend threw his head back and laughed.

 

            “Blaine? Sorry sweetheart,” He gave him a condescending smirk. “If anyone is going to tap that tight little ass it’s going to be me. He wouldn’t lower his standards to an sweaty overweight loser.”

 

            Humiliated, Matthew had avoided Scandals for weeks. He finally went back after a particularly bad day at work. When he was in the middle of his third beer he glanced around the dance floor and someone caught his eye.

 

            It was Blaine.

 

            He wasn’t that carefree kid dancing with a goofy smile that he had seen before. Now he danced against another man, body moving slowly with purpose. His eyes flashed with something different, something darker.

 

            Chugging the last of his beer he stood and pressed up against Blaine’s back, gripping those slim hips tightly. Blaine spun around and grinned up at him.

 

            “Hi!” He shouted over the music.

 

            “Hey,” Matthew felt his heart pick up.

 

            “Haven’t seen you here before,” He cocked his head to the side.

 

            “I haven’t been here in a while,” Matthew shrugged and gasped when Blaine reached down to cup his crotch.

 

            “I kind of want to see more of you but the lighting isn’t very good here,” He pouted a little. “The lighting is fantastic in the bathroom though.”

 

            Matthew had no idea what Blaine was on but he loved it.

JBI

            Good boy Blaine Anderson was up to no good.

 

            Jacob blessed his weirdly small feet and overly cushioned Birkenstocks to allow him to sneak around silently. He balanced his camera, hands only shaking a little, as he followed Blaine through the halls.

 

            Blaine was shaky, pale, and easily distracted. He had snapped at those glee losers and stormed out. He was skipping school and sleeping around from what he had heard from his informants.

 

            Something was up.

 

            Jacob hurried up a little as Blaine turned the corner and scowled when he saw the swinging door to the bathroom. He hesitated for a moment, looked around the halls, and burst through the door to see Blaine leaning over the sink rubbing at his nose.

 

            “Can I help you?” Blaine asked dryly.

 

            “No…” Jacob looked around for something damning and found nothing.

 

            “Then move,” Blaine rolled his red eyes and shoved him out of the way.

 

            Jacob scowled again and glared at his camera. He walked over to the sink and looked down at a small amount of brown powder. Was Blaine baking? Why did he have brown sugar?

           

            Too many questions but JBI would solve this. Something was off about Blaine and he would find out what.  

 

           

Brittany

 

            Her dolphin was sad.

 

            And it wasn’t because of BP or fishing nets or those plastic things around coke cans it was because he was broken.

 

            Brittany didn’t see a lot because…honestly binoculars confused her…but she could clearly see the way Blaine had fractured when Kurt broke up with him. He lost his sparkle and didn’t smile at her anymore.

 

            The something polluted Blaine. It was that horrible black sludge that spilled into the ocean and choked those dolphins. She had cried for days when the pictures of the dolphins washed up on the sand, covered in that shiny black slick.

 

            “Blaine?” She skipped up to him, startled by how drowned he already looked. “I think you should stop.”

 

            “Stop what?” He raised his eyebrow.

 

            “The oil spill,” He frowned. “Stop putting that stuff into yourself. Your blood is going to get all full of that dark stuff and you are going to drown.”

 

            Blaine’s eyes widened in panic.

 

            “W-what?”

 

            “I hate seeing…”

 

            “Listen,” Blaine hissed, leaning in with his eyes flashing. “You have no idea what the hell you are talking about you dumb bitch. Keep out of my business.”

 

            He spun around and stormed off as she watched sadly. Brittany could tell he was already beached onto the sand, unable to get back into the ocean by himself.

 

            No one believed her when she told them Lord Tubbington was a drug addict.

 

            And no one believed her when she told them Blaine was too.

 


	40. Brownies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Kurt brings over a friend for dinner and the friend said he would take care of dessert. He pulls out a bag of weed. Que: both Blaine and Kurt freak the fuck out.

            “I feel so grown up!” Kurt scrunched his nose up a little as he smiled. “Look at us having a dinner party.”

 

            “It’s not so much a dinner party as it is two fellow classmates coming over and eating dinner,” Blaine said from where he was checking the lasagna. “But I do feel a little grown up.”

 

            Pete and Kylie were a couple that Kurt had met in his intro to jazz. They were fun and adorable, bringing Kurt and Blaine out of their shells. They hung out together, went on double dates, had movie times. It was amazing.

 

            “And Pete is bringing dessert?”

 

            “That’s what he told me,” Blaine shrugged.

 

            “Good,” Kurt wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “I did remind them that we don’t drink so they said they weren’t going to bring anything.”

 

            “I mean…I don’t mind if you drink…”

 

            “I’ve told you before. You made that choice because you want to get better. I wont do anything to sabotage that decision,” He squeezed Blaine around the waist.

 

            A quick knock on the door made them both smile. With a final kiss they walked hand in hand to greet their guests.

 

            “Hey cutest gays ever,” Kylie grinned and kissed them both on the cheek.  “I brought brownies!”

 

            “Yum!” Blaine took the plate and placed it on the counter.

 

            “In fact, why don’t we eat dessert first?” Pete clapped his hands together. “One of the perks of being and adult right? I’ll eat my dessert when I fucking want to!”

 

            Blaine rolled his eyes slightly but eagerly tore the tin foil off of the plate.

 

            “You don’t even know how much I love chocolate,” Blaine smiled.

 

            “Oh but I do my dear,” Kylie tapped him on the end of his nose as Blaine passed around the plate.

 

            “You know me well,” Blaine made a little face at her.

 

            “Mm,” Pete smiled as Blaine took a huge bite. “Good right?”

 

            “Mmmhmm,” Blaine smiled a little through his mouthful, making Kurt laugh.

 

            “Seriously. You can usually taste the weed but this batch is different,” Lisa covered her mouth as she talked.

 

            “Weed?” Kurt froze and Blaine stopped chewing.

 

            “Yeah…you know…special brownies?”

 

            Blaine instantly leaned forward and spat the mouthful out into his hand, rushing to the sink and continuing to spit.

 

            “Hey!”

 

            “Here,” Kurt grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to his boyfriend, for a moment forgetting about their guests.

 

            “Are you alright?” Kylie asked softly. “I mean…do you react badly to it or something?”

 

            “I’m a recovering drug addict,” Blaine’s voice was hoarse. “Almost two years sober.”

 

            “Oh…” Pete’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry! We just assumed that since you were theater majors and said that you didn’t drink alcohol…which makes sense now…”

 

            “You didn’t know,” Blaine felt his cheeks heating up. “It’s fine.”

 

            “No, I’m sorry. I mean we just smoke sometimes or eat brownies and stuff…I would never have brought the brownies if I knew,” Pete grabbed the plate and threw them into the trash can.

 

            “I’m not judging you or anything for your choices,” Blaine leaned back a little into his boyfriend’s gentle touch. “It’s fine. I just…never want to go back to where I was so I want to avoid triggers.”

 

            “Of course,” Kylie looked upset.

 

            “That’s why we don’t drink,” Kurt said gently.

 

            “I’m sorry Blaine,” She shook her head. “I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship.”

 

            “I think you both are great,” Blaine leaned against the counter, relieved that he didn’t feel any different. “I like to think you’re our friends but I need to do what is best for me. I can’t surround myself with people who drink or do drugs. Smoking might seem little but I have a very low tolerance for anything addictive.”

 

            Kurt handed him another water bottle.

 

            “I want to still be friends but maybe some…space would be good,” Blaine stared at his feet.

 

            “Totally,” Pete nodded quickly, taking Kylie’s hand. “I think it’s pretty amazing what you’re doing. Let us know if we can help in anyway.”

 

            “I’m not telling you to stop what you’re doing!” Blaine’s eyes snapped up. “This is about me. I don’t hate you or anything.”

 

            “You don’t need to explain anything,” Kylie smiled reassuringly. “We should probably go. Give us a call if you want to hang out.”

 

            “Thanks so much,” Kurt gave them a smile and led them out, giving them both a hug before closing the door. “Are you okay?”

 

            “I’m fine,” Blaine nodded from where he was still leaning against the counter.

 

            “I am so proud of you,” Kurt walked up to him and slotted his arms through Blaine’s leaning in close.

 

            “For what?”

 

            “Two years ago you would have been more worried about making friends and making sure they didn’t think anything bad about you,” Kurt gave him a gentle smile. “This time you focused on you and what you needed. That’s why I am proud of you.”

 

            Blaine smiled back and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips.

 

            “I wouldn’t be able to do this without your support.”

 

            “Well you know I support you but a lot of what you’ve accomplished is because of you,” Kurt reached up to cup his chin and kissed him deeply.  


	41. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by bamfdevon: Could I prompt maybe ‘drugs awareness week’ at McKinley (before Blaine graduates) and ND trying to dodge any awkwardness and support him?

       “So recognize this week as Drug Awareness Week,” Figgins said slowly. “And we will be having an assembly with lots of fun activities relating to drug abuse all week. Remember, there is no excuse for drug abuse and smoking the dope wont help you cope.”

            The choir room was dead silent after the announcement ended.

            “Um…” Mr. Schue winced a little at the front. “So…the first day we have to decorate the classroom door.”

            Another awkward silence.

            “Okay,” Blaine said after a beat.

            “We really don’t have a choice…it’s required…”

            “Is everyone like really uncomfortable with this?” Blaine asked, glancing around the room.

            “No!” Sam shook his head. “We support you and the cause!”

            “They want us to sing Not an Addict by K’s Choice…” Mr. Schue swallowed heavily.

            “Yeah. I’m not singing that,” Blaine shook his head sharply. “The lyrics are ‘it’s not a habit, it’s cool, I feel alive.’”

            “How the hell is that an anti-drug song?” Artie scowled. “We’re not singing that!”

            “Can’t we…refuse?” Marley asked softly.

            “That’ll go over well. Let’s let the word get out that Glee Club is refusing to sing at a drug rally after that performance during alcohol awareness week,” Kitty snorted and Blaine was glad for her bluntness.

            “She’s right,” He muttered.

            “We still have a week,” Mr. Schue stood. “Let’s brainstorm.”

            Blaine was exhausted after practice. Every song suggestion was stilted and uncomfortable as no one wanted to upset him and he struggled to force that calmness on himself.

            The cheerleaders had been clearly busy from the butcher paper posters hung through the halls.

             _Dope is no way to cope._

_Be Smart. Don’t Start._

And Blaine’s personal favorite.

             _It’s easy, just say no._

He was silent as he walked with Sam and Jake to lunch. Sam kept trying to make conversation but Blaine was to distracted by the signs.

            “Blaine Anderson!” JBI jumped right in front of him and Blaine skidded to a halt. “Since it’s drug awareness week can we get an insight to what rehab is like?”

            Blaine’s mind fizzed to white noise.

            “What?”

            “A good source came out and told me that you were in rehab recently for drug use. That’s why you were out of school for so long,” JBI’s eyes were magnified through his glasses.

            “Hey!” Jake shoved him back into a locker and Sam’s face was dark with fury. “Don’t you spread those lies.”

            “They’re not…” JBI choked out.

            “They’re rumors and they can ruin someone’s life,” Sam spat. “Surely there has to be some scandal in the Cheerios that you can write up. Get. Lost.”

            As soon as JBI’s feet hit the floor he took off running, leaving a shell shocked Blaine. Almost instantly, he felt tears gather in his eyes and Sam grabbed his upper arm before pulling him into an empty classroom.

            “How did he know?” Blaine asked weakly.

            “I don’t know but I’ll beat it out of him,” Sam looked furious.

            “I don’t want rumors spreading around,” Blaine crossed his arms over his chest. “I mean…enough people look at me differently. I don’t need the whispers in the hallways or the jokes. I don’t need teachers eyeing me. I don’t need people to tell their parents.”

            “Blaine…”

            “I am trying to start over and I can’t when everyone tries to drag me back down,” He shook his head sharply.

            “We have your back,” Jake gave him a tiny smile.

            “Why?” Blain turned on the sophomore. “I mean…you were new when I was going through all of it. I was horrible to everyone and a miserable human being. Why are you wanting to help?”

            “People have thought of me as lower than everyone else before they even know me. It’s not the same but I know what it’s like for people to judge. You seem like a nice guy who really wants to get better. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

            Blaine looked down at his feet.

            “Should we go to lunch?” Sam asked softly and Blaine nodded.

            He didn’t hide his smile when Sam tore down every poster on the way to the cafeteria.

            “Mr. Schue?” Blaine raised his hand the next day in Glee. “I have a song I’d like to sing now if that’s alright?”

            “Of course!” He looked relieved to have a break from the awkward tension.

            “Okay,” Blaine moved to the front of the room. “I just wanted to talk about the last couple of days. I think an anti-drug campaign in schools is a great idea. The more we can do to get kids off of drugs is what is best but this is not the way to do it. These campaigns shame people. Saying things like Be Smart, Don’t Start or It’s Easy, Just Say No aren’t helping.

            As a person with a past in drugs it really makes me feel ashamed. It’s not easy to say just say no sometimes. I’ve talked to Ms. Pillsbury and she has agreed to start a program for students who need help or who feel pressured. People who feel pressured or are doing drugs need help, not to be shamed. I kind of just wanted to sing a song about what it’s like. It’s not a constant string of highs. It’s a spiral of chasing some feeling that’ll never happen.”

            He took a step back, closed his eyes, and sang.

             **I hurt myself today**

**To see if I still feel**

**I focus on the pain**

**The only thing that’s real**

**The needle tears a hole**

**The old familiar sting**

**Try to kill it all away**

**But I remember everything**

**What have I become**

**My sweetest friend**

**Everyone I know**

**Goes away in the end**

**And you can have it all**

**My empire of dirt**

**I will let you down**

**I will make you hurt**

**I wear this crown of thorns**

**Upon my liars chair**

**Full of broken thoughts**

**I cannot repair**

**Beneath the stains of time**

**The feelings disappear**

**You are someone else**

**I am still right here**

**And you can have it all**

**My empire of dirt**

**I will let you down**

**I will make you hurt**

**If I could start again**

**A million miles away**

**I will keep myself**

**I would find a way.**

There was a small silence after the last note before everyone began applauding. Every member of the Glee Club was smiling warmly and Sam’s eyes were sparkling.

            “I know what song we should sing,” He said with a grin.

            The assembly was covered in signs and posters. Standing at the front door to the gym was Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury handing out pamphlets for the new program for students.

            “Ready?” Sam squeezed his friend’s shoulders.

            “Absolutely,” Blaine nodded.

            After a introduction from Figgins, Sam stepped up to the microphone.

            “We want to sing this song to remind everyone that people who have a drug addiction need support. Being there for your friend is how they get better. Showing them that they are not alone, that’s how you can help them most.”

            Tina smiled at him and took the microphone next as the music started.

             **Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you**

**Caught up in circles confusion is nothing new**

**Flashback, warm nights**

**Almost left behind**

**Suitcases of memories**

**Time after –**

Sam started singing in the microphone next to her.

             **Sometimes you picture me I’m walking too far ahead**

**You’re calling to me**

**I can’t hear what you’ve said**

**Then you say, go slow**

**I fall behind**

**The second hand unwinds.**

The entire Glee Club linked their fingers together and sang together.

             **If you’re lost you can look and you will find me**

**Time after time**

**If you fall I will catch you I’ll be waiting**

**Time after time**

They stepped back to let Blaine sing by himself.

             **After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray**

**Watching through windows you’re wondering if I’m okay**

**Secrets stolen from deep inside**

**The drum beats out of time**

Their voices swelled together as they sang.

             **If you’re lost you can look and you will find me**

**Time after time**

**If you fall I will catch you I’ll be waiting**

**Time after time**

**Time after time**

**Time after time**

**Time after time**

**Time after time.**


	42. Video Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Someone makes an unintentional joke (benji?) about drugs and Blaine over hears

Blaine had been waiting for this day. For the day Benji strived to fit into the popular crowd in high school. He was everything that made up a good popular kid; straight, handsome, funny, athletic, and charming. While his friends clearly looked down on his fathers they were willing to overlook that.

            One of his friends, Mick, was with him at all times. Mick was on the football team and always smelled strongly of cigarettes.

            “Hi boys,” Blaine said as he walked inside, tired after a long day of work.

            “Hey dad,” Benji mumbled, not even glancing up from the video game he was playing with his friend.

            “Have you done your homework?”

            “Yes dad,” Benji rolled his eyes and Blaine felt himself clench his jaw. He paused for a minute when he saw what game they were playing. The new Grand Theft Auto game had come out a few weeks ago and while they never felt the need to censor Benji that particular game they kept out of the house.

            “Just sell the heroin to the junkie,” Mick shoved Benji’s shoulder a little. “It’s so easy.”

            Blaine felt his blood run cold.

            Benji was only fifteen and Blaine had been waiting to tell his son about his past until he was ready. Watching Benji laugh as his character beat up the addict just reminded him that his son wasn’t a wide-eyed child any more.

            “It doesn’t matter,” Blaine could hear the sneer in Mick’s voice. “You know what they say? The only thing a heroin addict gets on an IQ test is drool.”

            Blaine closed his eyes tightly in the kitchen when Benji laughed.

            “But I don’t want to kill him…”

            “You killed that prostitute earlier,” Blaine hurriedly pulled out a cup for tea. “They’re the same. They both sell crack for money.”

            The loud crash startled Blaine as his cup slipped out of his hands.

            “Dad?” Benji leaned into the kitchen and leaned down to help his father pick up the pieces of cup. “You okay?”

            “It slipped,” Blaine mumbled.

            “So,” Benji dropped his voice to a whisper. “Can you like say that I need to do something? Just to get Mick to leave?”

            “What?” Blaine glanced up to see Benji smiling sheepishly.

            “I’ll explain later,” He stood up. “Just…please.”

            Blaine smiled as Benji walked back into the living room. He waited a beat before calling out.

            “Benji? Remember we have to go to your uncle’s for dinner in a few minutes. Your friend needs to go,” He grinned to himself as he spoke.

            He could hear Mick grumbling and heard a few choice words directed to him as Benji led him out.

            “Thank you!” Benji bounced on his feet when he got back into the kitchen. “He is such an asshole. Seriously.”

            “I was totally judging you for your choice in friends.”

            “If he’s the kind of guy I need to hang out with for people to like me then I will make different friends,” He scrunched up his nose. “You know…I’ve been thinking about joining Glee…”

            “Really?” Blaine spun around, grin wide. 


	43. Build Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Kurt feels overworked and maybe he’s doesn’t feel good or something. He takes it out on Blaine yelling at him and putting him down for a couple of days … When it gets to be too much benji takes action

        It started on Sunday.

            Kurt had been looking forward to a day off for forever. All he wanted to do was watch bad television and ignore the world for a while. Then he got the call that his assistant had lost his designs and was too scared to tell him even though they were due yesterday. His day off became a frantic, really long day at the office.

            When he finally was able to get home close to eleven at night he was met by his smiling husband.

            “Welcome home! I can reheat some dinner if you want?” Blaine walked towards him.

            “Blaine. All I want to do is sleep. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to see you,” Kurt raised a hand in front of his face as he walked up the stairs to their room. “I’m just going to sleep.”

            And the way that Blaine’s face fell, the way he looked like Kurt felt, made him feel a little better.

            On Monday he left for work early.

            The day was long and grueling as his team worked hard to catch up on the order. His staff was confused and it absolutely infuriated Kurt. He ignored Blaine’s text asking him to lunch since it was a day off of school and he fired back a quick ‘Stop. I’m working’ when Blaine kept asking.

            That night he came back home to a nice home cooked meal and dessert which he took upstairs to eat. Blaine hovered in the hallway for a moment before walking into their bedroom, giving him a small smile.

            “I hate seeing you this stressed,” He said softly and climbed into bed.

            “I hate being this stressed,” Kurt mumbled, staring at some of the paperwork he was holding.

            “Maybe I can help?” Blaine said teasingly and slid his hand into Kurt’s sweatpants.

            “Stop,” Kurt snapped, yanking Blaine’s hand back. “That may be how you handle stress but not me.”

            Blaine kneeled on the bed silently before moving back and getting under the covers.

            “Goodnight Kurt,” Blaine mumbled softly and Kurt didn’t reply.

            It began to get worse and worse. Though out the week Kurt would snap and belittle Blaine, chasing that crestfallen expression to make himself feel better.

             _God you’re so stupid._

_Please don’t talk._

Blaine didn’t seem to know how to react to the person who always supported him bringing him down like this and he felt himself going back to bad habits of trying to do whatever he could to make him happy with no consideration of himself.

            One night, Benji was out and Kurt came home furious. Blaine greeted him at the door as usual and Kurt pulled him into a rough kiss.

            “Upstairs now,” Blaine blinked in surprise but didn’t resist when Kurt pulled him up and pushed him on the bed. “Hands and knees.”

            “I want to see you,” Blaine said softly and Kurt’s mouth tightened.

            “I want you on your hands and knees,” Kurt nudged at him until he turned over.

            When they were done Kurt fell fast asleep, having gotten his frustration out. Blaine lay awake most of the night, staring up at the ceiling.

            “Damn it Blaine!” Kurt snapped when he got the dinner. “You know I don’t like celery! I mean how long have we been married?”

            “Sorry,” Blaine stuttered out, shrinking down a little and Benji stopped chewing for a moment. “I totally forgot.”

            “Course you did,” Kurt mumbled as Blaine reached over to take his dish.

            “I’ll make it over,” Blaine vanished into the kitchen and Benji glanced up to his obviously angry father.

            “You’re kind of being an asshole,” He mumbled around a mouthful of food.

            “What?” Kurt’s head snapped to the side.

            “I said you’re being an asshole,” Benji repeated after he swallowed. “Why are you being so horrible to dad?”

            “I’ve had a rough week.”

            “And dad did that?” Benji raised his eyebrow. “He’s been trying hard to make your days easier and all you’ve been doing is bringing him down. Just…be nicer. Don’t take your shitty day out on him.”

            Kurt was so stunned that he didn’t even berate his son for the cursing.

            “Here,” Blaine hurried back in and placed the plate back down in front of his husband. “Sorry. That was totally my fault.”

            “It’s fine,” Kurt gave him a smile. “Thanks, it looks delicious.”

            He tried to not notice how his heart broke when he saw how relieved Blaine looked.

            “Blaine?” Kurt rolled over in bed and reached out for his husband. “Sweetheart?”

            “Yeah?” Blaine turned over quickly.

            “I’ve been a bitch to you,” He said softly. “I’ve been horrible and you didn’t deserve anything I said or did.”

            “It’s okay. You’ve been really stressed.”

            “That doesn’t matter,” He sighed, running his fingers through Blaine’s hair. “I shouldn’t have done it. I love you, you know? I am so lucky to have you.”

            “I love you too,” Blaine gave him a smile.

            “And I’m sorry.”

            “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

            And he always would. 


	44. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: blaine realizes sebastian might have a drug problem, panics, and tries to help. kurt sees blaine while he’s comforting seb and misunderstands.

          Kurt knew he was a jealous person. He was jealous that the other boys got picked first in gym class. He was jealous of Rachel getting the solos when they were in Glee. He was jealous of being pushed aside in his NYADA applications.

            But one person really got him going.

            Sebastian was good looking, charming, and rich which he knew. He would hold his wealth and good looks over everyone else. It was so obvious that he was used to getting what he wanted and Kurt didn’t like people wanting what was his.

            Of course, that was before Blaine and he had broken up.

            It wasn’t a surprise that Kurt had instantly jumped to thinking it was Sebastian who had lured Blaine into infidelity. He hated how that same jealousy sparked when he heard it was Sebastian who had helped Blaine overshadowed the gratefulness.

            He hated how Blaine and Sebastian had become friends and even though the other boy seemed sorry about his past actions Kurt couldn’t find it in his heart to really trust him.

            Especially since Blaine seemed really interested in him all of a sudden.

            It was their first winter break home from college and Blaine was frowning at his phone for what seemed like the tenth time.

            “Sorry, am I keeping you from something?” Kurt asked, instantly regretting how nasty he sounded when Blaine glanced up.

            “No…it’s just Sebastian.”

            “Sebastian?” Kurt raised his eyebrows.

            “Yeah, I’m kind of worried,” Blaine sighed. “You know…I’m going to see if he’s okay.”

            Kurt had to bite his tongue and nod as Blaine pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and left.

            After half an hour of fidgeting Kurt gave up trying to sit still and made a coffee run to the Lima Bean. The churning sickness in his stomach continued as he struggled to ignore images of Sebastian’s smirking face or leering eyes flashing through his mind.

            He wrapped his coat tighter around himself as he hurried out of the cold into the Lima Bean but stopped short as soon as he stepped in. Sitting in a corner booth was Blaine and a rumpled looking Sebastian.

            Hesitating only a second, Kurt slid into the booth behind them. His heart pounded and he bit his lip as he listened.

            “I just…it’s hard,” Sebastian sighed, voice soft.

            “I know,” Blaine said gently. “I kind of went through the same thing.”

            “But your relationship was already bad,” Sebastian replied and Kurt frowned. “I mean, has it improved?”

            “No,” Blaine scoffed. “It’s gotten worse.”

            “I’m sorry. Thank you for coming to talk to me though. It really means a lot.”

            “I’m here for you,” The warmness in Blaine’s voice made that jealous knife twist further into Kurt’s gut.

            As quietly as he could, Kurt slipped out of the booth and went home. Tears pricked his eyes and he struggled to keep his breathing even.

            Things hadn’t gotten better?

            He was there for Sebastian?

            Anger continued to swell in his chest before he texted Blaine that he needed to speak to him as soon as he could in person.

            “Hey,” Blaine leaned against the doorway of his room, eyes swimming with worry. “What’s going on? You said you needed me?”

            “We’re being honest right?” Kurt blurted out and Blaine nodded. “Are you leaving me for Sebastian?”

            “What!”

            “I know you’ve been talking to him…”

            “Stop right there,” Blaine looked angrier than Kurt had ever seen him. “Sebastian was acting off. He wasn’t sleeping, he sounded weird when he talked to me, and he’s been having trouble in school. I thought he was on drugs since everything matched but his father passed away. I was offering him someone to talk to.”

            “Oh…”

            “And if we’re being honest,” He rolled his eyes a little as he used air quotes. “You automatically jumping to the conclusion that I’m cheating on you hurts…it hurts a fucking lot.”

            “Blaine…”

            “Your jealousy and possessiveness was always an issue,” Blaine’s eyes flashed. “I’m tired of feeling like I have to prove that I’m loyal. You need to get help.”

            “I said I was sorry!”

            “But you’re not!” Blaine shouted. “You’re not sorry! This isn’t the first time!”

            Kurt staying silent, crossing his arms over his chest.

            “It’s a reoccurring theme Kurt. Your jealousy gets in the way of a lot. I know NYADA has a counseling center…mostly for people traumatized by Cassandra July…but they can help,” Blaine gave him a tiny smile.

            “I don’t need a therapist,” Kurt spat. “I’m not…”

            “Crazy? Therapy isn’t for crazy people. Every person has something they struggle with and sometimes need someone else to help them move past it,” Blaine took his hand. “I had a full team of therapists to help me.”

            “I have trouble asking for help,” Kurt sighed. “I don’t want to lose you.”

            “You have me and I’ll be here for you,” Blaine squeezed his hand. “But there is only so much I can do to help you. I want you to be the best person you can be and I know that the jealousy hurts you. It’s not working in our relationship.”

            “I know,” Kurt whispered. “I can make an appointment. Do you want to come with me?”

            “I think this is something you need to do on your own,” Blaine smiled. “But I’m proud of you.”


	45. Belt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: benji catches blaine before he tries to hang himself

          When Benji is four everything goes wrong.

            Kurt gets a promotion and his work hours almost double overnight. A few weeks earlier Blaine’s school had to cut the music program due to budget cuts. Benji gets the flu and is up all night with a hacking cough and uncontrollable vomiting.

            It’s also the first time Blaine buys alcohol since he turned twenty-one.

            He was driving home from the pharmacy when the blinking sign of the liquor sign makes him swerve into the parking lot and buy two bottles of white wine.

            “Daddy will be just downstairs,” Blaine kissed his son’s too warm forehead. “Sleep tight.”

            “Night,” Benji mumbled, voice thick with congestion.

            As soon as he got downstairs Blaine poured himself a huge glass of wine and downed it in a few gulps. Soon he found himself on the couch, sipping on his third…fourth?….fifth? glass.

            Was this what his life had turned out into?

            Fired from his job.

            Playing the house husband.

            It was depressing. Maybe the drugs were a terrible choice but he hated to think that his best days were behind him. He was desired. He was wanted by every man in that bar. He was young. He was sexy.

            Now he was wiping runny noses.

            No more.

            Blaine drained the rest of his glass and walked to his bedroom almost on auto-pilot. His mind swam and his eyes were blurred with tears as he grabbed one of his belts.

            One day Benji would find out he had been a drug addict.

            One day Benji would know his secret.

            One day Benji would lose that look of awe whenever he looked at him.

            He didn’t want to be around for that day.

            With trembling hands, Blaine looped the belt around his neck and pulled it tight. He took in a shaky breath, staring up at the slowly rotating fan.

            “What are you doing daddy?” The soft voice made him jump and spin around. “Why are you wearing a belt like a necklace?”

            “You’re supposed to be in bed!” Blaine gasped and Benji looked down at his feet.

            “Sorry,” He mumbled. “I had a bad dream.”

            “Here,” Blaine ripped the belt off his throat and carried his son upstairs. He was able to hold it together long enough for Benji to fall asleep again.

            “Hey honey! Crazy things are going on in the office!” Kurt answered the phone and tears started streaming down Blaine’s face.

            “I need you.”

            “What’s going on?”

            “Kurt I need you now,” Blaine’s voice broke off in a sob. “I’m scared I’m going to do something.”

            “I’m on my way.”

            Blaine had his face buried in his knees when Kurt ran in ten minutes later.

            “Hey!” Kurt gasped when Blaine launched himself into his arms. “What’s going on? Blaine? You’re scaring me.”

            “I got drunk,” Blaine sobbed hard.

            “Okay, okay,” Kurt rubbed his back. “That’s okay. You’re fine.”

            “I tried to hang myself.”

            Kurt’s hand froze.            

            “Sweetheart,” Kurt pulled back, eyes flashing with tears.

            “I did. I had a belt around my neck,” He sobbed. “I just thought that I was past my peak. I’m never going to be better than I was. Then Benji walked in.”

            “Oh my God,” Kurt was trembling.

            “All I could think about was that Benji was going to find out about the drugs and he would hate me,” Blaine covered his face with his hands. “But now I’m thinking that our four year old son could have found my body and…”

            “You’re okay,” Kurt whispered. “You’re okay. Blaine, you are so amazing. You’re a fantastic teacher and will find another job soon. You’re an amazing father who’s son worships him. Benji is still going to love you when you tell him. He’ll forgive you for that but he wouldn’t forgive you for killing yourself.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “We’ll get you in touch with your therapist tomorrow morning,” Kurt kissed his temple. “I’ll cut back on my hours.”

            “You don’t have to do that…”

            “Blaine, when will you figure out that you and Benji are the most important things in my life,” Kurt pulled him in for a kiss. “When you hurt, I hurt. I’m going to help you.” 


	46. Crest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: could you elaborate more on how blaine felt when kurt didnt want to look at him while they had sex? i feel like blaine felt like kurt was treating him like the guys he used to be with…

            When Kurt pulled him in for a kiss Blaine felt his heart drop. He tried not to wince when his husband’s teeth collided painfully with his lips.

            “Upstairs now,” Kurt growled and tightened his hand around Blaine’s wrist.

            Blaine stumbled on the bottom stair as he was yanked after his husband and grunted when he was shoved back onto the bed. For a split second he remembered the same thing happening through a drug filled daze before he shook his head.

            Kurt wouldn’t do that.

            “Hands and knees.”

            Blaine froze, eyes wide. He knew how much Blaine hated facing away from him. He knew that sometimes Blaine went to that dark place.

            “I want to see you,” He forced out through the tightness in his throat.

            “I want you on your hands and knees.”

            And Blaine had never refused Kurt anything.

            He slowly turned over as his husband nudged him impatiently. Kurt quickly grabbed his hips and yanked him up, popping open the lube.

            “Honey,” Blaine glanced over his shoulder. “Go slow.”

            He didn’t.

            Blaine bit his lip as Kurt roughly fingered him and twisted his fingers into the sheets when he entered him. When Kurt grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back as he fucked him Blaine had to blink away tears.

            With how rough Kurt was being it was so hard to stay in the present. The headboard and sheets blurred with tears and kept twisting and he could hear the hissed voices in the back of his mind.

             _Sweet boy._

_Take it you little slut._

_God, you’re tight._

_That’s a good whore._

He cried out when Kurt yanked him back hard and came in him. For the first time after sex with Kurt he felt dirty. He felt used.

            His body hitched with repressed sobs as Kurt pulled out and curled up next to him. Blaine pulled himself into a tight ball as he struggled to bring himself into the present.

            “Night,” He tried throwing out a lifeline but Kurt didn’t respond.

            Kurt had just used him.

            Their love making had always been about love. It was about making each other feel good and being together. This had been about Kurt using Blaine to make himself feel better.

            The only thing that was missing was the hit in the beginning


	47. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Blaine’s parents are finally called to task over their treatment of their youngest son.

            Burt frowned at the line of leafy greens. Kurt had told him to get cilantro but every single thing looked exactly the same. They couldn’t all be cilantro…

            Could they?

            Finally, Burt just grabbed the first bundle of greens (rabbit food) he could and put it in the basket before turning around and freezing.

            Standing next to the purple potatoes (and really…purple?) was none other than Mrs. Anderson. Burt recognized her almost instantly from the curly dark hair and hazel eyes and had caught a glimpse of her picture once in Cooper’s apartment.

            She glanced up at him and gave him a dark glare when she realized he was staring and Burt instantly saw the differences between her and her sons.

            “Can I help you?” She snapped.

            “Are you Mrs. Anderson?” He found himself blurting out and she nodded. “As in mother of Cooper and Blaine Anderson?”

            Her face froze for a moment.

            “Not anymore. Who are you?”

            “My name is Burt Hummel. Blaine is engaged to my son,” She let out a sharp bark of laughter and smiled, showing off her overly bleached teeth.

            “He’s still doing that?” She chuckled. “I’d have thought he would have grown out of that. You know he’s just trying to get money for drugs right? He’s a junkie and would whore himself out for them.”

            “Blaine struggled but he’s been clean now for two years,” Burt’s hands tightened on the basket.

            “Has he?” She raised an eyebrow. “That’s a surprise.”

            “It’s really not. Blaine is an amazing kid. He fought hard to get better and is now going to college,” Burt’s voice was tight.

            “Good for him but I can’t forgive him. Because of his actions I have lost both of my sons.”

            “You lost your sons because you are a loveless bitch,” Burt snapped and her eyes widened. “Both Cooper and Blaine somehow ended up amazing young men despite your shitty parenting. I’m proud to call them my sons. They’re a part of my family and no matter what they do they will always be part of my family.”

            “How dare you!” Her face turned an unattractive red.

            “Now I’m going to go home and enjoy dinner with my family. Enjoy your dinner for one,” Burt pushed past her and took a moment to relish the sound of her overly high heels scrambling on the tile.

            And if he hugged Blaine and Cooper and little tighter at dinner, no one said anything. 


	48. Forgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: benji gets drunk and chokes on his vomit and it reminds blaine of when that happened to him when he drank.

         “I said I was sorry,” Benji whispered, voice still hoarse.

            “I know honey,” Kurt replied and Blaine just stared out of the window.

            “Dad?” He picked at his hospital bracelet.

            “I heard you.”

            Benji shrank down in his seat. He could hardly remember the party the night before but woke up hours later in a hospital bed with his stomach pumped. Kurt had hovered around him as he was checked out but Blaine kept his distance.

            “I’m sorry,” He muttered.

            “Yeah.”

            They sat in silence for the rest of the ride home until Benji was practically shaking with the tension. He followed his fathers into the house.

            “Go to your room,” Blaine said shortly.

            “Dad…”

            “Benji, go to your room.”

            “I can explain…”

            “Fine!” Blaine spun around and Benji froze, “Explain. Explain why your girlfriend had to basically carry you out of a party because you were too drunk. Explain why you passed out and then choked on your own vomit. Explain why they had to pump your stomach.”

            “I…I had a rough week,” Benji whispered.

            “I had a rough week too when I started drinking,” Blaine snarled and waved off Kurt when he took a step forward.

            “Daddy…I’m sorry,” Benji felt tears well up in his eyes. “I was having fun and then…I don’t remember.”

            “That happens.”

            “It was so stupid. I feel so stupid,” Benji looked up at him with wide eyes. “I shouldn’t have done it and I am so, so, so sorry.”

            “I remember how it felt lying in that hospital after my overdose,” Blaine’s eyes were narrowed and filled with tears. “I never wanted you to be in my place. I raised you better than that.”

            “I’m okay though!”

            “You may not be next time,” Blaine spat and Benji nodded, hanging his head.

            “You got out of that ticket by promising to complete an alcohol awareness class,” Kurt spoke up. “You are going to finish that.”

            “Of course!” Benji nodded quickly.

            Blaine took a few steps back, still looking furious.

            “I’m sorry dad,” Benji felt a few tears run down his cheeks. “I know you must hate me but…”

            “Hate you? I don’t hate you!” Blaine moved forward quickly, gathering his son up in his arms. “I saw myself when you were in that hospital bed. I remember how much pain I was in and how horrible that experience was. I was scared. I was terrified. I am your dad and as much as I want to stop every horrible thing from happening to you I can’t.”

            “I’m sorry,” Benji clung to his father.

            “I know,” Blaine nodded. “And I love you.”

            “I love you too,” Benji sniffed, burrowing his face into his father’s shoulder.  


	49. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Hi could you maybe write a fic where Blaine gets kidnapped and injured? Would love it if you could put it in The Needle and the Damage Done(would love to see Benji’s reaciton)..

           It was so cold.

            Blaine scowled as he pulled his coat tighter around himself. New York might have more snow but it was nothing compared to the icy Midwestern winds. He had begged Kurt to let them do Thanksgiving in New York but it had become a tradition for them to do it in Ohio.

            But it was so damn cold! And did they really need green beans?

            He kicked the snow off of his boots lightly as he walked further up the sidewalk, the headlights of a car lighting his way.

            …the headlights that had been behind him this whole time.

            A quick spark of fear shot through him and he quickened his steps a little, eyes locked on the small grocery store right ahead.

            The snap of the doors closing made him jump and he was about to start running when a hand clamped over his mouth and a gun was pointed into his back.

            “Get in the car.”

            Without a sound he was shoved into the passenger seat.

            “Where’s dad?” Benji asked, joining his uncle in longingly staring at the table of food.

            “I don’t know…he should be back by now,” Kurt frowned, pushing the curtains aside. “Let me give him a call.”

            “Hi! You’ve reached Blaine Anderson,” His husband’s cheerful voice only made him deepen his frown. “I can’t reach the phone right now but if you leave a message I’ll get back to you as soon as I can!”

            He didn’t even hesitate before redialing.

            Blaine bit his lip as his phone vibrated in his pocket again. The two men who had grabbed him had driven for almost half and hour before bringing him to a nice middle class house and leading him to a basement where they tied him to a chair.

            “Blaine!” A man walked down after them, grin wide. “I thought that was you! You’ve aged very well.”

            “Ben?” Blaine frowned, it taking him a moment to recognize his dealer. “What do you want?”

            “You owe me a lot of money,” Ben took a seat in a chair across from him. “I’ve moved up in this world and would have much sooner if not for you.”

            “What the hell do you mean?” Blaine snarled. “That was almost twenty years ago.”

            “Money doesn’t age,” The dealer gave him a dark look. “You alone owed me several thousand dollars for the stuff alone. Plus, an estimated several thousand more from the men who paid me to fuck you. You remember that don’t you?”

            “Again, twenty years ago,” Blaine shook his head. “Let me go.”

            “You caused me a lot of trouble,” Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “I owed a lot of money to some very powerful people, money I was going to get because of you.”

            “Sorry I can’t pay back your drug and pimp money.”

            A loud slap rang through the room.

            “You will be sorry,” Ben snapped.

            “Let me go,” Blaine shrunk down in his seat a little when two more men moved closer to him. “My husband is expecting me…so is my teenaged son.”

            “You have a boy? Is he as good looking as you were?” Ben smirked when Blaine’s glare went darker.

            “Let me-“ His words were cut off by one of the men slamming his fist into Blaine’s stomach.

            Kurt had called the police an hour later, getting desperate and terrified when a quick drive down the road revealed no Blaine. The police were less than willing to help, telling him to call back after twenty four hours, until he told them where his husband had been.

            There had been two witnesses reporting a man being forced into a car by gunpoint.

            Now the house was swarming with police and Kurt was beyond terrified. He sobbed on the couch, gently comforted by Carole and Benji was curled up in Burt’s arm chair.

            “Do you know where my dad is?” He asked one of the police softly and she gave him a soft smile.

            “We’re trying to find him kiddo.”

            The pain from what had to be a broken rib and two broken fingers was all consuming. Blaine sucked in deep gasps of air, flinching away from the movement all around him.

 

            “I can’t get you any money,” He choked out.

            “I don’t want money,” Ben laughed. “I want you to pay. I wasn’t able to pay what I had to and they broke my knee caps. Like old fashioned movies you know?”

            “Please…”

            “Sorry honey,” Ben patted his cheek. “I’ll stay away from your pretty face.”

            It was amazing really, how quickly everything moved. Blaine’s picture was shown on every channel and thankfully someone recognized the car as their neighbors.

            All in twenty minutes, Ben Mallow was arrested and Blaine was sent to the nearest hospital.

            “Don’t do that!” Kurt whispered into his ear when he hugged him tightly, only loosening his arms when Blaine gasped in pain. “Don’t ever scare me like that again!”

            “I’m alright,” Blaine gave him a small smile before glancing to where his son hovered in the doorway. “Benji, come here.”

            With a soft sob, Benji launched himself at his father as well. Blaine rocked him gently side to side, rubbing his back.

            “It’s alright,” He whispered. “I’m okay.”

            “What happened?” Benji pulled back, wiping his eyes.

            “I had some…history…with that man. He was the man who got me hooked on drugs,” Blaine closed his eyes. “He can’t hurt any more kids, can’t take advantage of them any more.”

            “That bastard should die,” Kurt spat, eyes dark and furious.

            “He’ll be in jail for a very long time,” Blaine squeezed his hand. “I guess you can’t really escape your past.”

            “But you can hope that your past gets shanked in jail,” Kurt mumbled, making Blaine smile against his temple a little. 


	50. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: benji is having trouble dealing with his realized homosexuality. he crumbles under pressure and tries to commit suicide

      Blaine and Kurt were heroes.

            They danced together at prom in a school of homophobes. They kissed each other in public. Blaine had fought drugs and won. Kurt had helped the love of his life in any way he could.

            They were gay superstars.

            Benji was not.

            The idea of coming out was terrifying. He was so scared of the looks and ridicule he would get from his classmates. He was terrified of approaching a boy he had a crush on and not only getting rejected, but having rumors spread.

            He wasn’t brave.

            He wasn’t strong.

            He wasn’t his fathers.

            Benji knew he could never come out to them. They would be so disappointed that he couldn’t handle the stresses they did. They would be so disappointed at how weak he was. They would be so disappointed that he couldn’t do what they did.

            He couldn’t be himself.

            And he couldn’t disappoint his fathers.

            It was a moment of weakness (one his fathers would never have), Benji knew. He knew he shouldn’t sit in the garage with the car running. He knew it was a terrible idea.

            But his dads would never know how much he was going to disappoint them.

            He felt a little sick, a little dizzy, and then he just fell asleep.

            When he next opened his eyes he found himself staring up at a white ceiling, confused. He tried to move and panicked when he felt his hands restrained against the bed.

            “Calm down,” He heard his papa say gently. “Calm down sweetheart.”

            “Papa?” He blinked a few times and blue eyes swam into focus.

            “Thank God,” Kurt let out a sob and hugged him tightly around the neck. “Thank God! We thought you were dead! You weren’t moving or breathing and why would you do that?”

            “I’m sorry,” Benji sobbed, looking up as his dad rushed into the room. “I’m so sorry.”

            “We’re not angry,” Blaine shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “We just were so scared.”

            Benji was shaking hard, eyes wide and scared.

            “Why would you do that?” Blaine gasped out. “Benji why?”

            “I’m gay,” He let out in a trembling voice and both of his fathers froze.

            “You’re gay? That’s why you tried to kill yourself?” Kurt leaned back, obviously confused. “Did you think we would accept you?”

            “I’m scared,” Benji whimpered. “I’m too scared of what will happen, of what people will say. I know I’ll never be as brave as you both. You were never afraid to be yourselves…I don’t think I can be.”

            “Never afraid?” Blaine ran his hand through his son’s hair. “I was afraid all the time. When I was fifteen I was beaten senseless after a dance and had to transfer. I was scared every day I went to school. It wasn’t until I met your papa that I found my strength.”

            “I hid and tried to get through high school without anyone seeing me,” Kurt gave him a small smile. “I get scared. Today I was scared I might lose you.”

            “Did you just quote Lion King?” Benji cracked a small smile.

            “I did,” Kurt smiled, looking a little relieved. “You’re such a brave young man though.”

            “I don’t want to disappoint you,” Benji whispered. “I don’t think I can be as brave as you are. I…I can’t even kill myself right.”

            “You could never disappoint us,” Kurt said quickly. “You make us so proud every day just being yourself.”

            “We’re going to get you into some support groups, just like the ones we were in,” Blaine smiled. “We don’t want you to be like us, we want you to be like you. You don’t have to measure up to anyone or anything.”

            “Thank you,” Benji smiled, for the first time feeling a little stronger. 


	51. Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Can you do a Drabble about when Kurt and Blaine found out about benji’s alcohol od.

    “So, chocolate or pistachio?” Kurt held up two cartons of ice cream and Blaine hummed.

            “Both?”

            “Good choice,” Kurt nodded, grabbing two spoons. “Do you think that we’re a lame old married couple? Benji is off at a party and we’re spending Friday night eating ice cream and watching our recorded shows.”

            “I think we’re an awesome old married couple,” Blaine took a carton. “And I still stand by what I said all those years ago, you are the most interesting kid in all of Ohio. Now you’re the most interesting man in the country.”

            “Aw,” Kurt laughed and leaned in to kiss him.

            “And, I’m sure lame old people can’t do what I’m planning to do to you tonight,” Blaine laughed, kissing him again. The phone rang and both men grumbled as the separated, Blaine standing up to answer it.

            “Hello?” He was still smiling at his husband.

            “Hello, is this the Anderson-Hummel residence?” The woman asked on the other end.

            “It is,” Blaine leaned against the table.

            “This is New York Presbyterian Hospital,” She asked, voice turning sympathetic the same time Blaine’s blood turned to ice. “A Benjamin Anderson-Hummel was just admitted to the emergency room and had this number listed for his emergency contact.”

            “What?” Blaine gasped, Kurt looking up at him in worry. “Emergency room? Is he alright?”

            “I’m afraid I can’t disclose any information over the phone. If you come to the emergency room we can discuss his case further. I will saw that Benjamin will be alright and is in the best care.”

            “We’ll be there as soon as possible,” Blaine said, hands trembling as he hung up. He turned to Kurt who’s eyes were wide in fear. “Benji is in the emergency room.”

            “I’ll drive.”

            Blaine chewed on his thumb nail as they raced to the hospital and could hardly think as they hurried into the emergency room waiting area. A clearly upset Grace was hugging herself around the middle and jumped when she saw them. She hesitated for just a moment and then walked over to them.

            “What happened?” Kurt blurted out as soon as he saw her.

            “Um…we were at a party and…” She bit her lip. “There was some drinking.”

            Blaine felt his stomach drop.

            “We’re not angry,” Kurt said soothingly. “We’re just worried.”

            “He drank so much and I told him to stop,” Tears filled her eyes. “I got him into the car and he passed out. Then…he started shaking and choking and his lips turned blue and I…”

            She let out a sob and covered her face.

            “But you got him to a hospital,” Kurt rubbed her back and Blaine took a step backwards. “That’s what is important. You might have saved his life.”

            “I’m sorry,” She sobbed.

            Blaine’s mind was reeling. Benji was stupid enough to get that drunk? He could feel the horrible memories of the bars and clubs lingering at the back of his mind and looked up as the doctor walked up to him.

            The doctor explained how Benji had alcohol poisoning.

             _Blaine could feel his body on fire as the narcan raced through him trying to combat the overdose._

He had to get his stomach pumped.

             _Blaine’s muscles ached as he threw up again for what felt like the millionth time._

He was going to be fine.

             _He felt like he was going to die._

When the doctor finally let them back to see their son, Blaine could hardly breathe. The flashbacks and memories overwhelmed him as he saw his son lying in the hospital bed.

            Kurt rushed to his side.

            Blaine couldn’t. 


	52. Shattered Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by cyanoticfallacy: Hi I was wondering could you write a Drabble of Blaine’s POV when his dad visits when Benji’s 12 in your Needle!verse?

           “Hiya Benji!” Blaine glanced up at his brother’s voice and peaked his head out from the kitchen. Almost instantly his heart dropped when he saw how blank Cooper looked.

            “Hey Coop,” He frowned.

            “Can I talk to you and Kurt?” Blaine glanced back at his husband who was sipping from his wine glass and leaning against the counter.

            “What’s going on?” Kurt looked worried as Cooper stepped in.

            “So dad is here.”

            “Dad?”

            “Yup,” Cooper sighed. “He called me and told me he was going to be here in a few hours. I guess he wants to reconnect or something? I think he’s going to retire and wants the family business to continue so he’s going to beg us to come back. Well…beg us like dad does. Andersons don’t beg.”

            “I don’t want him here!” Kurt spat.

            “Kurt,” Blaine gave him a quick look. “Maybe just invite him in for dinner. He might have…changed…”

            Blaine hated it but he was still hoping that maybe his father would ask for forgiveness. Growing up with absent parents was hard. Going to college knowing your parents despised him was harder.

            For the next hour they waited, Kurt nervously moving things around the kitchen until they heard a knock at the door.

            Blaine shot his son a quick smile as he hurried to open it.

            His father was going to pull him into his arms and apologize for everything that happened.

            His father was going to tear up when he saw what an amazing kid he had raised.

            His father was going to swear to be a part of their lives.

            His father was going to be proud of him.

            He opened the door, feeling unbelievably hopeful. His father looked just like he used to. A stern, emotionless man in a suit with only a few more grey hairs.

            “Hey dad,” He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

            “Blaine. Cooper.”

            “You remember Kurt?” Blaine took a few steps back, glancing at his husband as his father stepped in.

            “Your friend from high school?” He barely glanced at Kurt who was standing behind Benji.

            “My husband,” Blaine felt his throat tighten.

            “It’s good to see you again sir,” Kurt said, eyes flicking to meet Blaine’s. “This is our son Benji.”

            “How old are you boy?” Blaine could see his son shrink down a little.

            “Twelve.”

            “Did you fuck a girl while you were a junkie?”

            Blaine’s blood went cold.

            How dare he?

            How fucking  _dare_  he?

            Through the haze of red anger he could hear Cooper whispering to Benji and saw them start walking upstairs.

            “In front of my son?” He hissed, feeling himself trembling.

            “I mean,” His father let out a huff of laughter. “In your drugged out haze do you even remember who or what you fucked?”

            “Why the hell are you even here?” Kurt snarled, taking a few steps closer to Blaine.

            “I heard about Benji and no matter what sinful way he was made he is still my grandson. I want to know him.”

            “Now?”

            “I don’t want him to become a junkie slut and a failure and further ruin the Anderson name,” Blaine saw white for a moment.

            “Get out. Get the hell out of my house!” Kurt actually shoved him back, continuing to push until the scowling man was out of the house and the door was shut.

            Blaine walked into the kitchen, feeling his head reeling. It was like he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs as he gasped, tears burning in his eyes. He looked over to see the plate of food he had put together for his father and in a sudden rush of anger smashed it against the counter.

            “Hey! Hey!” Kurt quickly grabbed his arms and just like that all the anger sapped out of him. Blaine began to sob hard, learning into his husband.

            “I thought…I thought…” He choked out and Kurt nodded, holding him close.

            “I know,” He said softly. 


	53. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Benji gets the stomach flu for the very first time when he was little (3 or 4) and Kurt and Blaine take care of him and get worried like the great parents they are

        “I feel icky.”

            That was the first warning they had before little Benji hurled up everything he had eaten.

            After two days of staying up all night with a violently sick four year old, Kurt and Blaine’s nerves were frayed.

            “101.8,” Kurt mumbled, looking at the thermometer.

            “We need to get him to the hospital,” Blaine gently wiped a cool towel over their son’s burning forehead. The four year old whimpered and thrashed a little in his sweaty blankets. “Kurt, he hasn’t kept down food or water for two days.”

            “I’ll get my keys,” Kurt scrambled to the kitchen as Benji blinked open bleary eyes.

            “Daddy?” He muttered, slurring slightly.

            “Yes baby?” Blaine gently gathered him up in his arms.

            “What…where are we going?”

            “We’re taking you to the hospital bud,” Blaine carefully carried him out of their house, Kurt hurrying in front to open the car. “You’ll feel better soon.”

            He felt tears fill his eyes when Benji closed his eyes and pressed his face into his chest. The little boy was trembling faintly in his arms as he cradled him in the back of the car as they pulled up to the hospital.

            “Daddy?” Benji whimpered, fever bright eyes staring up at him. “Where are we?”

            “At the doctor,” Blaine gently rocked him back and forth as Kurt frantically worked on the paperwork. Benji’s small body trembled in his father’s arms as they waited and as they walked back into the ER.

            The doctor, a sweet young woman named Dr. Pewter, took one look at Benji and ordered an IV for him. Kurt gently stroked back his sweaty hair as Dr. Pewter tried to find a vein.

            “He’s extremely dehydrated,” She said softly. “We’ll start an IV and give him some medication for the vomiting. It’s a nasty stomach bug but he’ll be just fine.”

            Benji wailed when the doctor started sliding in the needle and thrashed.

            “STOP! Daddy! Papa!” Benji sobbed heavily. “They’re putting a nail in me! Make her stop! STOP!”

            Kurt sobbed as well, covering his mouth with his hand. After a short struggle, Benji collapsed back into the sheets. The boy’s chest hitched with sobs as he lay there, exhausted.

            “You’ll be okay baby boy,” Blaine whispered, kissing his son’s forehead.

            Kurt reached over a shaky hand to grab onto his husband’s. They squeezed their hands tightly, waiting for their son to wake up.

            It was killing Blaine to see the usual lively Benji laying there so still. He was used to the boy running around screaming and causing trouble, not being in pain.

            It was absolutely heartbreaking.

            It was the worst thing they had been through in a long time.

            Kurt squeezed his husband’s hand a little tighter, waiting until their son opened his eyes. 


	54. Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Can you tell us what happened after Blaine relapsed after the shooting, like during the week Benji was with Cooper?

          “I thought I would find you here,” Kurt leaned against the door frame to Benji’s room, seeing his husband sitting on the bed.

            Blaine looked horrible. His pale skin was covered in a thin film of sweat and he was bundled up in an old college sweatshirt and sweatpants. In his hands was the ragged stuffed monster, named Carl, that Benji had lovingly carried with him everywhere when he was young.

            “Remember when we got him this?”

            “Because he was so scared of the monsters under the bed,” Kurt smiled, watching as Blaine gently ran his fingers over the soft fabric. “And you said that the monsters couldn’t get him if he had his own monster.”

            “And he just carried it everywhere,” Kurt stood still as he saw tears begin to dot the fabric of the stuffed animal.

            Blaine took in a trembling breath and looked up at the ceiling, tears shining in his eyes.

            “Sorry,” He choked out.

            “Blaine, it’s…”

            Quickly, Blaine jumped up and staggered into the bathroom. Kurt sighed softly and followed when he heard Blaine being sick.

            “Do you want some water?” Kurt asked as he filled up a glass from the sink.

            Blaine leaned against the cool porcelain of the bathtub and closed his eyes. He gratefully sipped at his water and stared at his bare feet. With a heavy sigh, Kurt sank down to sit on the floor with him.

            “I really fucked up.”

            “Yeah,” Kurt reached forward to gently squeeze his leg. “Do you want to go to a clinic or something? They have stuff to make this easier.”

            “No,” Blaine shook his head, face white and pinched with pain. “I deserve this. I can deal with it.”

            “We can…”

            “I want to! Every time my stomach cramps or I feel like I’m going to die I just have to remember the shock and disappointment in my son’s eyes when he found out. I never, ever want to see him look like that again,” Tears started streaming down Blaine’s cheeks. “I’d rather die.”

            Kurt moved to sit next to his husband and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

            “It was like the person he thought I was shattered and…he’ll never look at me the same way,” Blaine sighed. “All I ever wanted was to be a good father.”

            “You are,” Kurt gently brushed his thumb across Blaine’s cheekbone. “You are an amazing father. You’re also human, you know?”

            “Yeah,” Blaine grit his teeth. “I just feel so small. I know that everyone hates me right now but it doesn’t compare to how much I hate myself.”

            “I don’t hate you,” Kurt kissed him sweetly on the mouth for a moment. “I’m disappointed in a moment of weakness but remember I promised that I would be there for you through better or worse. This is just our worse.”

            “It’s pretty bad.”

            “I’ve been married to you forever and in love with you for even longer,” Kurt took his hand. “I’m still here for you and I always will be.”

            “You know that I am so sorry.”

            “I know.”

            “I just…I want my son back,” Blaine wiped his eyes.

            “I know,” Kurt kissed the top of his head.

            “But I don’t want him to see me like this,” Blaine shook his head slightly.

            “So, we’ll get through this and he’ll be home soon,” Kurt squeezed his shoulders a little. “He loves you so much. We’re a family and families get through rough times together.”

            “I’m going to do this. This is it,” Blaine grit his teeth. “For you and for Benji.”

            Kurt smiled and picked up the stuffed monster Carl, placing it in Blaine’s lap.

            “For us.” 


	55. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: I would love to see a sequel of your latest Drabble (when blaine is abducted) with Blaine struggling with his injuries, as he can’t have the “good stuff” for the pain for fear of a relapse

           Everything fucking hurt.

            Blaine closed his eyes tightly and grit his teeth as wave after wave of agony rushed through his chest and hands. The doctors had tried to prescribe the pain medication he so desperately needed but Blaine absolutely refused.

            It hurt, but getting addicted would be worse. 

            Kurt had been as helpful as he could be, staying by his husband’s side and trying every natural remedy he found on the internet but nothing helped.

            “You know,” Burt said from his chair as Blaine tried to breathe slowly on the couch. “I broke a rib once in high school playing football. It was the absolute worst pain I have ever been in.”

            “Mmhmm,” Blaine nodded quickly.

            “I knew you were tough kiddo but damn,” Burt whistled. “Maybe just aspirin to take the edge off.”

            “No,” Blaine grit out.

            “Just a little…”

            “It always starts with just wanting to take the edge off,” Blaine closed his eyes tighter. “I’ve relapsed once. I’m not doing it again.”

            “Blaine…”

            “Did you know that after Benji was shot I really thought about stealing his pain medication? I was going to steal pain medication from my son who had been shot,” Tears welled up in his eyes. “Because I’m selfish and weak.”

            “You’re not…”

            “So, I can deal with the pain if it means that I don’t have to put my family second.”

            Burt sat silently for a long time before nodding.

            “Want me to get you a cup of tea or something?” Blaine nodded, turning his face away as tears ran down his cheeks.

            “Thank you,” He whispered.

            “Blaine,” Burt reached forward to gently squeeze his shoulder. “You are an amazing husband and an outstanding father. I am so very proud to call you my son-in-law.”

            He only got a weak smile in response but it was still worth it. 


	56. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: When teenage benji comes home from school, he finds blaine collapsed on the floor, not breathing. he calls 911, and when kurt shows up at the hospital hes a sobbing mess, which makes benji cry about how he thought his dad was dead. up to you why he collapsed and what the outcome is.

“Dad!” Benji sang as he walked into the house. “I’m home!”

Blaine had been forced to take a week off of teaching when his cold developed into the flu. Since then he had been bundled up on the couch sipping at a mug of tea and sniffling miserably.

“So, I got my test back today,” He grinned widely as he stepped into the kitchen, freezing.

Lying on the tile was his father.

“Dad?” He gasped, dropping to his knees and shaking his shoulder. “Dad!”

When he didn’t get an answer he quickly pulled out his cellphone and dialed 911.

“911, what is your emergency?” A woman’s voice made him jump.

“I found my dad on the floor. He’s not breathing,” He sobbed out, clutching the phone to his ear.

“Okay sweetheart,” The woman said soothingly. “We have your address and I have dispatched an ambulance. What is your name?”

“My name is Benji,” He kept shaking his father on the shoulder, stunned t how hot his father felt. “My dad’s name is Blaine.”

“Alright Benji, you’re dad is going to get help soon. Tell me, can you hear sirens?” He strained his ears and gasped when he heard them.

“Yes! Yes, I can!”

“I need you to go outside and wave down the ambulance,” He let out a whimper at the idea of leaving his father. “I know it is scary but it does help the ambulance find you.”

He jumped up and ran out, waving his arms as the ambulance pulled up in front of the house.

“They’re here,” He said into the phone.

“Okay, you can hang up on me and talk to them. Your dad is in the best hands.”

Benji pressed end talk as you young men jogged up to him. They smiled warmly, instantly putting him at ease.

“Where is your dad buddy?” One of them, a tall blonde man asked and Benji spun on his heel to lead them into the kitchen. They gently led him back and got to work.

“How old are you kiddo?” The other man, a brunette, asked as he put an oxygen mask over Blaine’s mouth and nose.

“Twelve.”

“You know you’re very brave to do what you did,” They gently moved Blaine onto a gurney. “I would have been a mess.”

Benji nodded, tears running down his cheeks.

“You can ride in the ambulance with us and when you get to the hospital you can call your mom,” They both stood up and the blonde gently rested a hand on his back.

“No,” Benji shook his head as he was led out of the house. “I have another dad.”

“Okay, so we’ll call your other dad,” The blonde man nodded.

For the entire ride to the hospital, Benji jus got more and more upset. The paramedic, Len, tried to keep him calm but by the time they reached the hospital he was a sobbing mess.

They rushed Blaine into the emergency room but Len stayed with Benji as they called Kurt. Len had him sitting down rubbing his back as he hyperventilated when a panicked Kurt raced in.

“Mr. Anderson-Hummel!” Len waved and Kurt sprinted over.

“Benji! What happened are you okay?” He kneeled in front of his son.

“Is daddy dead?” Benji sobbed out. “He wasn’t moving and he wasn’t breathing!”

“I can go ask the doctor,” Len squeezed Benji’s shoulder. “You have a pretty amazing kid.”

Kurt gently rubbed his hand up and down his son’s back as he trembled with heavy sobs. They waited until a middle aged doctor kneeled down by them.

“Hi,” She smile. “My name is Doctor Martin. Blaine is going to be just fine. He had a pretty nasty case of untreated pneumonia.”

“I told him to get it checked out!” Kurt spat making Benji curl up a little on himself.

“He’s okay?” He asked in a soft voice and Dr. Martin nodded.

“He’ll need to stay in the hospital for a bit but he’ll be just fine. You might need to give him a talk about when to see a doctor though.”

“He’s always been stubborn,” Kurt rolled his eyes. “But believe me, we will have that talk.”

After a few moments, Doctor Martin led them both back into the room where Blaine was. He was still very pale, dressed in a hospital gown, and had an oxygen mask over his face.

“Ow!” His voice was muffled as Kurt stormed over and punched him in the shoulder.

“Why didn’t you say that you were feeling worse!”

“I thought it was just the flu!”

Kurt sighed and leaned forward to kiss his husband on the forehead. A soft sniffle made Blaine open his eyes to see his son standing in the corner, crying softly.

“Hey,” He said gently, reaching a hand out. “Hey buddy, I’m okay.”

“I thought you were dead!” Benji threw himself at his father and buried his face in his shoulder, sobbing hard.

“I’m okay,” Blaine gently rocked him and stroked his hair. “The doctor told me that you were the one who had called 911. She said if you hadn’t, I may not have been here. Thank you.”

Benji nodded into his chest, clutching onto his father as tightly as he could.


	57. Replacement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Benji looks enough like a younger Blaine that one of his old regulars, who has missed him ever since, can’t resist.

            Benji had never been to a club before, much less a gay club. When his good friend Lana had come out to him they had decided to go out one evening to The Closet, a bar well known for their inability to properly check ID’s.

            Lana was having the time of her life and his other friends were off hitting on a group of girls who had come to dance. Benji politely turned down an interested man and glanced over to the bar where an older man stared at him intently.

            Feeling uncomfortable, Benji glanced back down at his diet coke and took a sip. When he looked back up, the man was still staring.

            After some time, his friends had still not returned and his drink was empty. Benji forced his way through the crowd to the bar and shouted out his order, leaning against the bar a little.

            “Do I know you?” The man who had been staring at him asked, leaning in close. “You look familiar.”

            “It’s my first time,” Benji smiled, trying to be polite.

            “Hopefully not your last,” The man grinned.

            “Sorry but I’m straight. I’m here with some friends…who seem to have abandoned me,” He rolled his eyes, glancing over his shoulder.

            “Well, I’m happy to keep you company,” Benji nearly choked on his drink when the man patted his leg. “What’s your name?”

            “Benji,” He muttered, going stiff.

            “I’m Justin,” He smiled warmly, before moving his hand up Benji’s thigh.

            “Sorry,” Benji took a step backwards, holding his hand up. “I wasn’t kidding before, I’m straight and I would rather not be touched.”

            He took two steps away before his head started swimming and his knees buckled a little.

            “Shh, Blaine, it’ll be okay,” Horror flooded his chest as Justin wrapped and arm around his waist and started helping him out of the club. “I’ll be just like old time, I still have those toys and I have new ones. Can you believe I would find you here in New York of all places? I can’t wait until you…”

            “Excuse me,” A strong hand grabbed Benji’s arm and pulled him away from Justin. “You need to leave.”

            Benji felt the world swirl around him and stumbled. His heart pounded fast and he frantically tried to look around for his friends, catching sight of Lana’s wide eyed stare.

            “Why?” Justine squeaked.

            “I saw you slip something into his drink,” Justin stumbled away from Benji, stuttered something and then ran away.

            “Benji!” Lana ran up to him, followed by his friends, just as his knees gave out.

            “I think maybe you should get him to a hospital,” His savior said softly but his face kept swimming out of focus.

            Lana kept trying to get him to talk to her, looking beyond terrified when he just remained slumped over. His body trembled and he struggled to remain upright.

            “I can’t…” He slurred. “My dads will kill me.”

            Lana shushed him and brushed back his hair. They pulled up to the hospital and Benji blacked out.

            “I don’t remember his face,” Benji whispered hours later, flanked on either side by his dads as he talked to the police. “I wasn’t drinking any alcohol, I was designated driver.”

            Kurt wiped at the tears on his face and kept his hand on his son’s shoulder.

            “That’s fine,” The young police officer smiled. “Is there anything you remember about him?”

            “Maybe…” Benji frowned. “He thought he knew me and seemed surprised to see me…maybe…maybe he…he called me Blaine.”

            He saw his dad stiffen next to him and bit his lip.

            “Thank you Benji,” The police officer gave him another warm smile. “I understand this is difficult. The man is in custody and we will call if anything comes up.”

            “Thank you officer,” Kurt shook the officer’s hand.

            Our of the corner of his eye, Benji saw his dad sit down heavily in a chair. He glanced over and froze at the look of overwhelming horror and guilt on his dad’s face.

            He had never seen his dad so upset in his life.

            He didn’t know why his father was so horrified, but he hated it.

 


	58. Lost Along The Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Set in the Needle and Damage Done verse. Blaine relapses and Coopers finds him.

Cooper absolutely hated Scandals. He hated the sweaty men dancing on anything with a cock that breathed. He hated the stares. He hated the sticky floor. He hated,  _hated_ , the bathrooms. 

"God," He let out an explosive breath when he saw Blaine leaning against the wall of the last stall, blinking up at him with blurry eyes. "Blainers…what have you done?"

"Coop," Blaine slurred, forcing himself up onto his feet. "Heeeeeey Coop."

 

"Let’s go," Cooper grabbed his arm tightly. 

 

Just a week after coming home from rehab, Blaine had started vanishing. It didn’t long for Cooper’s worst fears to be confirmed as he found a small packet of powder in Blaine’s coat. He had been horrified and every attempt to get Blaine to stay in the house failed. 

 

"I don’t wanna go," Blaine shrugged off his arm. "I am fine."

 

"You’re high out of your mind," Cooper scowled. 

 

"Oh fuck off," Blaine rolled his eyes and reached down to buckled his pants. "I can take care of myself."

 

"You got home from rehab a week ago!" Cooper shouted. "And all that work you’ve done? Gone! Just gone."

 

"What makes you think that this," He motioned down at his ripped jeans and tight shirt. "Is not the real me?"

 

"Because I know that you’re not a whore," Cooper spat back, grabbing Blaine and dragging him outside. 

 

"Stop!" Blaine jerked back and glared. "I like it."

 

"It’s the drugs saying that."

 

"No," Blaine smile widened. "It’s not. See, the drugs don’t make me say anything, they only bring out honest feelings. This is the real me."

 

"It’s not," Cooper said softly. "Let me take you home, we can go back to rehab and…"

 

"No," Blaine shook his head. "I’m happy."

 

"Blaine," His voice cracked. "Please, come home. I’ll help you. Kurt will want to help you."

 

"Kurt doesn’t give a fuck about me! Maybe I like sucking and fucking every man I see," Blaine shrugged, half smile in place. "I like the way it feels. I like the way people look at me. I like the way they treat me. Why would I throw this all away?"

 

"Little brother, please," He took a step closer. "I don’t want to see you get hurt."

 

"I wont."

 

"You will," Blaine took a step back. "You could die. You’ve been through so much to shake this habit and I’m not going to just let you do…"

 

"You’re not my dad," Blaine snarled. "My dad made it very clear that I disgust him. I take care of myself. I don’t need you."

 

"Blaine please!" Cooper grabbed his arm and winced when he yanked it away, blood smearing from the needle wounds. "Just come home."

 

"I don’t have a home," He growled darkly. "And I don’t have a brother. Let me live my life Cooper."

 

He spun around on his heel and stormed back into the club, leaving a horrified Cooper out in the parking lot. 


	59. World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Prompt: Kurt and Blaine’s point of view of walking in on Benjis suicide attempt. Hi! I love all your fics! You’re an amazing writer! I know you probably have a lot of prompts on your plate right now so if you can’t get to this one don’t worry about it!

"Shh," Blaine laughed as they stumbled into the house, a little tips from their night out. "Benji is home."

 

"I can be quiet," Kurt teased, kissing his husband deeply. 

 

"I don’t want to scar our son," Blaine smiled, cupping Kurt’s cheek. "Let’s split that left over cake and then go upstairs. Get to sleep early."

 

"As long as we don’t sleep," Kurt gave him a wink. 

 

They walked into the kitchen, still teasingly touching each other. With a final kiss, Blaine started digging through the fridge. Kurt leaned against the counter and smiled, looking forward to spending a full night alone with his amazing handsome. 

 

He glanced over and saw what looked like smoke curling out from the door to the garage. Frowning, Kurt opened the door and coughed as the smoke poured out into the kitchen. As soon as the smoke cleared somewhat, his heart stopped. 

 

Benji was slumped over in the front seat. 

 

"Oh my God!" He gasped, running into the garage and yanking open the door. Benji slipped out of the car, lowered to the floor by his panicked father. 

 

"No, no, no," Blaine gasped, falling to his knees in front of them. He let out a cry when he realized that Benji wasn’t breathing and his body shook with heavy sobs. 

 

"Call 911," Kurt gasped out, shaking Benji slightly. 

 

"Please," Blaine sobbed into the phone, hand gripping their son’s shirt tightly. "Please come…our son…he…"

 

Kurt kept his eyes locked on the too still face of their son, praying that the ambulance would come soon. He could hear Blaine panicking behind him, quietly begging Benji to wake up.

He couldn’t imagine a worse feeling in the world, watching his entire world fade right in front of him.  


	60. Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Needle and the damage done Drabble. In Blaine’s first year of teaching, during a parent teacher conference he realizes that the dad of one of his students is a guy who used to fuck him when he was on drugs. Cue blangst and Kurt support and cuddles.

Blaine tapped his pencil on his desk, exhausted and so over these parent teacher meetings. Most parents just wanted to hear that their children were doing well but several had yelled at him because their children weren’t making A’s.

 

Homework was called homework for a reason people. 

 

He was on his last student, Lindsay Zales, and glanced up with a smile as she walked in with her father. Something was strangely familiar about her father, a tall man with extremely light green eyes, and it put him on edge almost instantly. 

 

"Mr. Zales," Even saying his name left a sour taste in his mouth. "I’m Blaine Anderson."

 

"I think we’ve met," He said, voice reedy. 

 

"Maybe," Blaine shrugged and took a seat. "Well, I’ve never had a problem with Lindsey. She is an outstanding singer and student and a joy to be around."

 

"I would just stop there," Lindsey said with a grin and Blaine laughed. 

 

"Of course," Blaine wanted to leave as much as they seemed to. "Do you have the form I need to sign."

 

"Shoot," Lindsey’s face fell. "I left it in the car. Be right back!"

 

She sprinted out of the room and Mr. Zales’s smile slowly grew, stretching across his face uncomfortably. 

 

"You really don’t remember me?"

 

"No," Blaine kept his smile on his face. "I’m afraid not."

 

"I couldn’t forget a face like that," He leaned back. "My wife and I lived in Ohio for a bit and sometimes, when I got a craving, I would go to this little place called Scandals."

 

_Oh, god._

 

Blaine stared blankly at the man in front of him, feeling cold and hot at the same time. The worst part was he didn’t really remember him. 

 

"I remember you dancing and…"

 

"Stop right there," Blaine held up a hand. "I’m married. I need you to stop talking."

 

"Not even one more time for old time’s sake?"

 

"I was not much older than your daughter," Blaine snarled. "I was under the influence. I know men like you, I’ve been around too many of them and I know men like you can’t stop. Now, you’re surrounded by kids and given your past, I don’t trust you. I should call the police right now."

 

Mr. Zales went pale a stood up.

 

"Listen, I have a wife and kids."

 

"You did back then too," Blaine glared. "If I ever see or hear of you ever again I will call the police. If I ever suspect anything from Lindsey, I will call the police. Get out."

 

He had never seen someone run away as quickly as Mr. Zales did. 

 

Blaine buried his face in his hands and took deep calming breaths. After years of running from those horrible memories and thoughts, it felt incredible to stand up and battle one. It felt incredible to win against the monsters in his mind. 

 

Trembling, he called Kurt and bit his nails as he waited for his husband to show up. Kurt all but jogged into the room, wide eyes and scared looking. 

 

"Are you alright?" He pulled Blaine into a tight hug. 

 

"I don’t know," Blaine sighed, leaning into his husband. 

 

"You sounded really scared on the phone," Kurt leaned back, looking worried. 

 

"One…one of the parents was…someone I hung out with in Ohio," Blaine winced. "He’s around young people all the time and I don’t think things have changed. I told him I would call the police if I ever saw him again or if I ever thought he…"

 

"Blaine, he could hurt someone else," Kurt’s eyes were wide. "I think you should call the police. What did he say to you?"

 

"He propositioned me," Blaine whispered before his eyes grew huge. "Oh God, he could be hurting other kids."

 

"Call," Kurt handed him the phone. 

 

Blaine bit his lip, took in a deep breath, and dialed 911.

 

Now, that monster wouldn’t haunt anyone else. 


	61. Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Needle and the Damage Done prompt: I think this family has been through a lot. They need a vacation.

"Disneyland! Disneyland!" Kurt groaned as Benji’s tiny body barreled into him. "Papa wake up! WAKE UP!"

 

"Honey," Kurt tried to roll over to avoid the six year old. "Give me another hour to sleep."

 

"DISNEYLAND," He let out a yelp as his husband tackled him out of bed onto the slightly sticky carpet of the hotel room. 

 

"Blaine!" Kurt tried to kick off his husband who tickled up his sides. 

 

"Come on!" Blaine pouted. "Rides! Disney! Overpriced pretzels!"

 

"Pretzels!" Benji pouted as well, far too long curls hanging into his big blue eyes. 

 

"Fine. Give me a second," Kurt stretched. "Can you try to tame his hair."

 

"It’s impossible," Blaine scooped up his son and slung him over his shoulder. "We’re gonna watch Power Rangers."

 

Kurt smiled, rolled his eyes and got dressed. They managed to get Benji into his brand new Mickey Mouse shirt, a difficult feat considering Benji was far too excited to stand still. Finally, the family was able to leave for the park.

 

As they walked up, Cinderella’s castle looming above them, Benji bounced up and down. 

 

"Who do you want to see first?" Blaine asked Benji.

 

"Ariel!" Benji tugged on their hands. 

 

"She is your favorite," Kurt smiled. Ever since Benji had seen The Little Mermaid he had been obsessed. He had a little stuffed Flounder that he carried everywhere and watched the movie at least three times a week. 

 

"I’m gonna marry her,"Benji lifted his chin. 

 

"Really now?" Blaine grinned. 

 

"Uh huh," Benji nodded. "She’s the prettiest and she saves Eric. She really loves him."

 

"You know, I had a huge crush on Price Eric when I was little," Kurt smiled and Blaine shot him a mock glare. 

 

"He’s okay," Benji shrugged. 

 

It took some hunting but the Anderson-Hummel clan was able to hunt down Ariel and Eric greeting guests. 

 

"Oh hello!" Ariel gave Benji a wide grin as the little boy stared up at her in wonder.

 

"Benji here is a huge fan," Blaine gave his son a little push who all but launched himself at Ariel for a big hug. 

 

"That is so very sweet!" She gave them a bright smile and knelt down. 

 

"You’re my favorite!" Benji gushed. "Can I ask you a question?"

 

"Of course."

 

"How did you know that you loved Prince Eric?" Benji looked up at the tall man who knelt down next to them.

 

"Well," Ariel clasped her hands together and smiled at Eric. "I heard some beautiful music and swam to the surface. When I looked up I could see him on the stairs and fell in love instantly."

 

"And she was just so beautiful and kind that I knew she was the love of my life," Eric continued. 

 

"That’s how my daddies met!" Benji beamed back at his fathers. "They met on the stairs in high school and fell in love."

 

"That is just lovely!" Ariel gave them a grin as they took each other’s hands. "I’m so happy your daddies found each other."

 

"Yeah," Benji nodded. "Even though he has a crush on Prince Eric."

 

"Okay!" Kurt took a step forward. "We should go on to meet some other princesses."

 

Benji pouted for a moment before nodding. He gave the prince and princess a wave before grabbing onto his parents’ hands and swinging between them. 

 

"So, Prince Eric huh?" Blaine glanced over to him, raising his eyebrows behind his sunglasses. 

 

"I guess I have a thing for hot guys with dark hair," Kurt kissed his husband’s cheek. "Let’s go find Belle."


	62. Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: I have this terrible image in my head of a needle-verse prompt where Benji decides to try heroin because Blaine did and he “turned out okay” and they have a huge fight over utan Blaine helps Benji detox.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

 

Benji felt his skin crawling and his body break out into a sweat. It had only been a little bit, Just a taste, that’s what Trevor told him. 

 

But now every part of him wanted more. Hell, even his teeth were aching.

 

"Benji?" He flinched at his father’s voice and turned to see Blaine holding up a small (mostly full) bag. "What is this?"

 

"You know," He whispered, not wanting to lie. 

 

Blaine’s fist closed around the bag and he moved quickly into the bathroom, dumping the powder down the toilet and flushing. Even though it felt like every cell in his body was screaming for him to stop Blaine, Benji just sat on the bed and stared. 

 

"What the fuck were you thinking?" He never raised his voice.

 

"I just…I don’t know…"

 

"I don’t accept that," Blaine spun around. "I know you’re not that stupid. Why did you do it?"

 

"Trev…he was talking about how good it felt and I figured that…you turned out okay," As he said the words Benji wished he could take them back. Blaine’s eyes slid shut and he went stiff. "I didn’t think that…"

 

"I didn’t turn out okay," Blaine ground out. 

 

"Dad…"

 

"I wound up in the hospital. Your uncle was paying for my school and rehab treatments for years," Blaine opened his eyes and Benji flinched when he saw they were filled with tears. "I worked hard so that I don’t constantly think about it. I worked hard to make sure you never got involved in drugs."

 

"I’ve only done it once."

 

"That’s all you need. Are you feeling shaky? Hurting? I can see you’re sweating," He stared down at his lap, ashamed. "Why didn’t you come to me?"

 

"I don’t know."

 

"Come on," Blaine gently took his elbow and stood him up. "I’m going to make you soup, call your papa, and we are going to get through this."

 

"It’s been hurting for so long," Benji whimpered.

 

"I know," Blaine looked sadly at his son. "But we’ll get through it."

 

"And I’ll never do it again."

 

He wouldn’t. Not only did it hurt, but Benji never wanted to see that look on his dad’s face again.


	63. Slice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Hi, I was wondering if you got my prompt on Benji turning to self injury because at least it wasn’t something mind altering like drugs to cope with some kind of problem? I don’t want to seem pushy, but I was just wondering because I know it was at the time you mentioned having like 25 or 30 prompts and I think you’ve filled a lot since then, so I was wondering if I made it to the list :) I think your writing, and the speed you write at is amazing!

It was a process. Benji leaned over the sink, pulled out the small case he kept hidden under his sink and pulled out a razor. He would close his eyes, take a deep breath, and after three seconds would make three quick lines by the crook of his elbow. 

 

Maybe it was the ritual of it all that helped. He knew to expect the sharp sting, to feel the warmth of the blood, to feel the rush of almost euphoria. Stress fled, anger fled, worry fled, he was left empty. Just the way he liked it. 

 

There honestly wasn’t anything terribly wrong in his life. He had loving parents, the perfect girlfriend, his grades were good and college was pretty much guaranteed. There was still a constant, overwhelming sadness lingering over him like a blanket. Benji could feel it slowly suffocating him until he was hardly able to breathe, needing desperately to cut air holes in it so he could just gasp for air. 

 

When the pain had gotten too much, Benji’s mind had whirred with ideas of how to get better. His mind was always brought back to the thought of needles and a little bag of powder. It would take it away, it would let him breathe. But, God, his parents would be so upset. Just the thought of how disappointed they would be made him feel sick. 

 

The cutting had just started by accident. It had been a really rough day, nothing specific happened but he just felt like he was drowning constantly. While trying to cook something that night, his dads were out of town, his knife slipped and he cut himself. In that moment, Benji could only think about the sharp pain and completely forgot about the pain that had been filling his chest for so long. 

 

After that he couldn’t stop. 

 

Case. Razor. Three breaths. Three slices.

 

Case. Razor. Three breaths. Three slices. 

 

Case. Razor. Three breaths. Three slices…his father?

 

Kurt’s horrified face glowed even paler in the harsh bathroom light. His mind faded into white noise as he watched Kurt’s eyes drift down to the blood dripping into the sink, to the healing cuts and scars. Benji didn’t know what to do or what to say. He had never been prepared to be caught. 

 

"Benji?" Kurt’s voice shook. 

 

What could he say? This wasn’t part of the process.


	64. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Benji didn’t know what to do when his grandfather started talking to him.

Benji loved his grandparents.

His grandpa took him to a Buckeyes game every year and his grandma had sure that he never spent a second hungry. They sent a card every birthday, they went to his baseball games, they cared.

So, he didn’t really know what to do when his dad’s father suddenly picked him up from school.

His grandfather was exactly how he remembered, a severe man with frown lines and an expensive suit.

The smile had seemed tense and unfamiliar on his face when he approached Benji after practice. It was uncomfortable, how his grandfather’s eyes would light up when he mentioned baseball or his girlfriend. He man left him feeling queasy.

But…maybe he wasn’t that bad. Maybe if they got along he could encourage his dad to talk to him.

They could have a whole family again. Benji knew that his dad’s parents weren’t supportive but that was a long time ago.

It also helped that his grandfather was more than happy to buy him things. He got the jacket he wanted, a new phone, the promise of full tuition to any college.

Every time, it was given with a smile and one condition.

Don’t tell your father.

With every day that passed, it got more and more uncomfortable. He couldn’t tell his fathers now, not after how long he had kept a secret. Benji felt that twisting in his gut every time he got a text from his grandfather. It wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong, he was just spending time with him.

Then everything fell apart.

Benji was almost to the door when he heard the shouting from inside. Nervous, he opened the door to find his grandfather standing in the living room, facing his dads.

Blaine’s eyes were wide and wet with tears, his body shaking with minute tremors, and Kurt looked stiff. His papa’s mouth was in a firm line, eyes narrowed.

“Ah, he’s back,” his grandfather gave him another smile.

“You need to leave,” Kurt said sternly, watching as Blaine grabbed their son and pulled him over.

“Not until I hear what Benji says.”

“It’s not an option,” Blaine snapped, hand tightening on Benji’s arm.

“Benji,” his grandfather said slowly. “I want you to come live with me and your grandmother.”

“What?” Benji froze, eyes wide.

“We’ve spent all this time together,” he flinched at Blaine’s sharp breath. “We’ve had a lot of fun. I think it would be good for him to move in with us. We can get him contacts in the best universities and…”

“No,” Blaine sounded furious.

“I don’t think…” Benji stuttered.

“Just because I wasn’t the son you wanted doesn’t mean you can…just take your grandson and replace me,” Blaine’s hands clenched into fists.

“God knows how you managed to raise a normal son after exposing him to this,” he frowned and motioned towards them.

“My dads have done nothing but love me,” Benji said suddenly, overwhelmed by everything. “That’s what they  _exposed_  me to. I think it’s pretty amazing that dad turned out as amazing as he did after an asshole like you raised him. Oh wait, you didn’t raise him.”

“If you come with me we can get you whatever you want, get you into any college,” his grandfather looked taken aback.

“I don’t want anything you can give me.”

There was a beat of silence before his grandfather rolled his eyes and stormed out of the house, slamming the door.

“I’m sorry!” Benji spun around, catching his fathers’ stunned expressions. “I should have told you both he had been talking to me…I just thought maybe it would work out and we could be a family.”

“We are a family,” Blaine said shakily.

“But I knew that you were upset because you don’t have a relationship with your parents,” he whispered and Blaine sighed.

“Family isn’t just blood,” Kurt gave him a small smile. “Just because someone is related to you doesn’t mean that they are there. Your family is who is there for you, not just someone who shares some DNA. I mean, I’m not your biological father but do you think of me as less than your dad?”

“Not at all,” Benji shook his head.

“Kurt’s parents helped me when I struggled, mine didn’t,” Blaine pulled him into a tight hug. “We are a family. We love each other no matter what. We don’t use each other. I know you were just trying to think of me, but I don’t need them in my life. I have a family, a whole family.”

Benji smiled and leaned into his father’s arms. He honestly couldn’t imagine how hard it had to be to have parents who were unsupportive.

He had never really realized how lucky he was. 


	65. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by Bitchwithperfectpitch: so… I have a prompt because im in love with needle verse! <3 Its perfect ;)but can you continue slice? like kurt reaction? and blaines? and if Benji’s girlfriend ever finds out? or something of that nature?

Red.

Kurt had walked into Benji’s room, carrying a pile of laundry. He had expected his son to be working on homework or playing on his laptop. He didn’t expect to see Benji leaning against his sink. He didn’t expect to see Benji jerk. He didn’t expect to see all that red.

“Benji?” He breathed, feeling like his heart had stopped. His head swam with panic, white noise flooding his head.

“I…I’m sorry,” Benji stuttered, wrapping one hand around his bleeding arm.

His mind felt empty as he gently took his son’s shoulder and walked him downstairs before sitting him on the couch. Kurt always worked well with steps. Get Benji on the couch. Get the first aid kit. Clean the cuts. Then figure out what to say.

He just needed to focus on one thing at a time.

Halfway through cleaning an unresisting Benji’s cuts, Blaine walked through the front door. He frowned at the sight and his eyes widened as he realized these weren’t just the result of an accident.

The family remained silent as Kurt packed up the kit and placed it to the side. As the silence stretched, Benji’s body began to tremble and he stared ahead.

“Please tell us what’s going on,” Kurt sat down, hand twitching near his son’s knee. “We won’t be angry, I promise.”

“I can’t say,” Benji let out a whisper, eyes wide and pleading.

“Why not?” Kurt could see the pure desperation on his husband’s face.

“It’s just…just that I feel like a…like a can of soda that’s been shaken,” Benji blurted out, face turning red. “Like the pressure keeps building and building and I just need some way to release it.”

“Why don’t you talk to us then?” Kurt asked.

“Because it’s not a specific thing. I can’t place it into words and I just need a way to get rid of that feeling before I explode. It’s the only way I can do anything,” Benji shuddered.

“Benji,” Kurt finally took hold of his arm and looked down sadly at the lines of scars. “We just don’t want you hurting yourself.”

“But nothing bad happens. It’s a few scabs, bleeds just a little,” he looked desperately between his fathers. “There’s no lasting damage. It’s not like…it’s not like I’m taking drugs.”

Blaine sucked in a shaky breath and placed a hand to his mouth. The room lapsed into silence once again and Kurt’s hand moved down to gently take his son’s hand.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Blaine finally spoke up. “I know several amazing therapists in the area. We’re going to get you as much help as you need. Benji, we want you to be happy. I know what it feels like to want a quick fix. I know what it feels like to get that slight rush. I remember how it feels for everything to creep up on you again. But, it does get better. It needs work and dedication but things can get better.”

“But…but I don’t even know…” Benji choked on a sob. “I have no reason to feel this way. Everything is okay in my life…I don’t have a reason.”

“You don’t need a reason,” Kurt squeezed his hand. “You don’t need to justify feeling depressed. It happens and we will do what we can to make it better.”

Benji forced a small smile, the action feeling odd on his face.

His first therapy appointment was scheduled for Friday afternoon and despite feeling exhausted, he still went to school the next day. As he fiddled with his locker, he felt a little tap on his shoulder.

“You never called me back yesterday,” Grace gave him a small smile when he turned around.

“Sorry, I had some stuff going on,” he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Make it up to me on our date on Friday?” She gave him a wide grin which faded slightly when he sighed.

“I actually…” Benji sucked in a deep breath, giving her a long searching look. “I have an appointment with a therapist.”

“Is everything alright?” Her eyes lit up with concern.

“I’m going through some things right now,” Benji jumped as she gave him a long hug, giving him a small, sweet kiss.

“You know I’m here for you,” she said softly. “Anything you want to talk about, I’m here for you. You do what you need to do to get to okay.”

“Thank you,” he pressed their foreheads together, chest feeling uncomfortably tight. 


	66. Sweet Tooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: So it took me awhile to remember the prompt i sent you XD But i think it was something along the lines of Benji being at a party and being offered druggie brownies but he thinks they’re normal ones and eats loads. He goes home high and Blaine just *knows*

Blaine’s red pen scratched through another student’s wrong answer. Seriously, the material wasn’t even that hard. Were the students even trying? Frustrated, he wrote the large red 35 at the top of the paper and placed it on the stack. 

 

"Hey," he said without glancing up as the door swung open. "How was the party?"

 

"Heeey," Benji drew out the word and Blaine looked up, confused. Benji’s blue eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with red. He was swaying slightly as his unfocused eyes flickered around the room. 

 

"You okay?" He asked slowly and Benji nodded quickly, head bobbing. He looked off…not drunk but… "Are you high?"

 

Benji’s eyes filled with tears and he swayed so badly that Blaine jumped up to lead him to the couch. He sobbed and hid his face in his knees, refusing to look at Blaine. He think he’s disappointed me, Blaine realized and rushed to grab him a glass of water. With a few soothing words, Benji took the glass and sipped it.

 

"I didn’t mean to," he choked out. "Glen was passing around brownies and I ate six. I had no idea that they were laced until I started feeling funny. I am so sorry. Don’t hate me."

 

"I’m not angry," Blaine rubbed his back. He couldn’t imagine how terrified Benji had to feel. He had started feeling the high without realizing why and then was scared of what Blaine thought. Add that to the paranoia he was sure to feel and Benji had to be beside himself. "I just want to make sure you’re okay. It was an accident, I know."

 

Benji’s eyes were incredibly wide and he held the glass in a tight grip. He let out the softest whimper when Blaine took it to get more water. His body relaxed into the couch as he finished the second glass and allowed his eyes to close. Blaine waited until he thought that his son was asleep before gently covering him with a blanket. 

 

"Did you feel like this when you were high?" Benji breathed, cracking open his eyes. "Like you’re detached from your body and floating?"

 

Blaine sat down next to him and sighed. How could he really explain it? Like all of his worries weren’t important. Like his blood was singing. Like he was so warm and safe. Like it didn’t matter. He remembered so clearly that feeling that this was as good as things were going to get. He remembered being okay with that.

 

"Yeah," Blaine sighed. "Like I was never in control."

 

"I don’t like it," Benji sighed and slumped sideways to lean against his father. "It’s scary."

 

"You’ll feel like yourself soon," Blaine smiled and ruffled his hair. 

 

As his son slept, Blaine’s mind raced. The memory of those months he spent in a haze came back to him. He had hated himself so much at the time that he would have done anything to get away from that pain. Giving up control had been a desperate attempt to feel something besides hate and pain.

 

Pot brownies weren’t about to turn Benji into an addict. He hadn’t even known that the brownies were laced so Blaine didn’t have to worry. 

 

But he did.

 

Benji was growing up so fast and Blaine couldn’t protect him forever. He was about the same age that Blaine was when he spiraled into drugs. Things would happen and Benji would get hurt. All he could do was be there for his son when he needed him. Benji would never feel that loneliness and lack of support he had. 

 

Kissing his son on the forehead, Blaine settled down for a long night. Benji was going to be fine. He was a good kid with a good head on his shoulders. But, that didn’t mean that Blaine didn’t worry. 


	67. Faded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by charfour: Prompt for needle and the damage done verse: Blaine’s track marks start to fade

Shaking hands told a lot about a person. If they had a limp grip, if they held on too tightly, if their hands were overly dry or moist, if they were able to clasp hands correctly the first time. Shaking hands was an essential part of a first impression.

 

It terrified Blaine. 

 

During interviews, he would grin and put on a happy face but he just knew that everyone was remembering his hand after the handshake. They were remembering the way his suit jacket had slid up to show the marks along his arm. Even when he worked his hardest to make sure his arms didn’t show, the marks on his hands and between his fingers stood out.

 

He had been sober for years but his arms still looked like he had quit yesterday.

 

So, Blaine refused to look at them. 

 

For years he wore long sleeved shirts that went to his knuckle. It wasn’t flattering and it wasn’t professional, but it hid what he needed. 

 

Kurt had once said that a touch of the fingertips was as sexy as it got. After so many years together, they had gone much further but his hands and arms were always a source of self consciousness.

 

He squirmed as Kurt lightly traced his fingers along the inside of his arm when they lay in bed together. The anxiety continued until he had to pull away, hating that he couldn’t even be held by his husband without remembering the slide of a needle into his veins. 

 

"I’m sorry," he breathed.

 

"It’s fine," Kurt whispered against the back of his neck. 

 

Smiling softly, Blaine closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep. He could feel Kurt sit up but didn’t open his eyes until he felt soft fingers run along his arm.

 

"Hey," he mumbled.

 

"You can hardly see them," Kurt said softly, picking up his arm. 

 

Blaine’s eyes snapped open and he sat up as well, turning on the light. It was true, the small marks that ran up and down his arms were much fainter than before. He couldn’t even see some of them. 

 

"Oh my God," he let out a laugh, feeling tears well up in his eyes and his throat tighten. 

 

"There," Kurt smiled, rubbing his arm along his arm. "I told you one day it would happen."

 

"It’ll be like it never happened," Blaine choked out.

 

"No, it’s like your outside is finally catching up to your inside," Kurt leaned forward to kiss you. "Now people can see you before they see anything else."

 

It was something so little, small little marks along his skin, but it meant everything. It was the thing that had tethered him to his past, something he couldn’t escape. 

 

It wasn’t his past that was fading, it was that tether. Finally, Blaine felt like he could move forward. He wasn’t Blaine Anderson, recovering drug addict, he was Blaine Anderson-Hummel, husband and father. He had a future and he was more than marks on his arms. 


	68. Interrupt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by iwannaliveinabigbluebox: The Needle and the Damage Done prompt: Kurt confronts Todd about turning Blaine down for his film project because of him scars.

“Um…I’m sorry but we’re filming here,” Luke glanced up from ‘staring intently into Patricia’s eyes’ and frowned at the young man that had burst through the doors. 

“I’m aware,” the man’s lips pursed and he put his hands on his hips.

“So how can I help you?” Todd rolled his eyes and readjusted his lenseless glasses. “And make it quick, we’re on a schedule.”

“I’m Blaine Anderson’s boyfriend,” the man’s eyes flashed and Todd stiffened. 

Of course Luke knew who Blaine Anderson was. He was only a freshman but everyone knew who he was. He was an incredibly talented performer and just an all around nice guy. He made a huge effort to get to know everyone and always had a smile and kind word for them.

“Okay…” Todd shifted slightly. 

“I understand you’re making this little…movie,” he raised his eyebrows. “But…”

“One thing first buddy,” Todd held up a finger and the man scowled.

“I’m not your friend, my name is Kurt,” he spat.

“Fine, Blaine wasn’t right for the role. I went with Luke instead,” Todd nodded towards him and Luke glanced around to see that the rest of the cast was looking as awkward as he felt. “It was an artistic choice.”

“It was discrimination,” Kurt growled. 

“Here’s the deal. Blaine’s a junkie. The character of Nathaniel is pure and innocent and…” he let out a squeak when Kurt took a step forward. He wasn’t a particularly intimidating looking looking man, but now it looked like he could snap Todd in half with his bare hands.

“Was he high? Was he shooting up?” Kurt’s eyes flashed. “No! He was in some trouble a while ago but he is clean. He went through rehab, he suffered, and he is a better person. He made a mistake and just because you saw some old scars it doesn’t mean that you can go and treat him like trash.”

“Is that true?” Luke spoke up.

“I was trying to cast my movie! It wasn’t going to risk my movie for an addict!” Todd threw his hands up and Luke stood up.

“My mom was an addict when she was older and people like you made her life so much harder,” he threw his script on the ground. “Blaine is a really nice guy. I’m done.”

“Luke!” Todd looked frantic. “Come on, what about the movie?”

“Fuck your movie,” he followed Kurt out of the door, followed by most of the cast. “It was shitty writing anyway.”


	69. With Uncle Cooper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Thequeenofgleeks: Can you write a drabble for the Needle-verse about the week Benji spent with Cooper? Like, Benji worrying about his dad, and Cooper being there for him? :)

“Action or comedy?” Cooper asked, going through the movies on Netflix. “Or we can go crazy and try to rewatch every How I Met Your Mother episode?”

“I don’t want to watch anything,” Blaine mumbled, picking at the lunch his Aunt Allie had made before taking the kids to her parent’s house. He heard his uncle sigh and the television turned off. 

“Your dad’s going to be alright,” he said softly and Benji’s frown deepened.

The look in Blaine’s eyes when he was high still terrified him. Blaine always had these warm, calming eyes that made Benji feel like he was at home. It just took one look at his dad to calm him down and make him look safe. When he was high they were completely different. They were glazed and dull, looking uncaring. It was like looking at a stranger. 

“He knew I was hurt and he still kept leaving me alone,” Benji finally whispered. “He never helped me down the stairs or helped me get food. It was like…I didn’t matter.”

“When he’s high nothing matters but chasing that high,” Cooper sighed, looking like he was lost in a memory. “Before, when it was really bad, he stole from me. Those drugs erased who he was and left this…hungry shell of a person. Everything that made him…him was gone.”

“He’s going to get better right?” Benji’s voice cracked. “He won’t leave will he?”

“No,” he shook his head, giving Benji a warm smile. “He has you and your papa.”

“But…I’m the reason he started again,” he whispered shakily, feeling the ache of the bullet wound at his side. 

Cooper moved to sit on the couch next to him, placing a hand on his leg. They both were quiet for a bit as he gently rubbed his calf and squeezed his leg slightly. 

“Before, when your dad was in high school, he hated everything. This all started because he hated himself. Your father has a hard time forgiving himself and at the time he didn’t want to. He felt like he deserved to hurt and was all to willing to do it,” Cooper squeezed his leg a little tighter. “When you were born…I’ll never forget his face when he held you. It was like you were that salvation; you were the reason to start forgiving. You saved him Benji.”

Benji’s breathing got a little strangled as he fought back tears. He couldn’t imagine the pain his father must have been in to do it in the first place, much less twice. It was a chronic illness, something inside of Blaine that he had to fight constantly. 

“Maybe…a comedy?” He asked weakly and Cooper nodded with a grin, grabbing the remote.

—

While the withdrawal wasn’t as bad as it had been in the past, Blaine still felt like he was dying. His stomach refused to keep down any food, his head pounded relentlessly, his bones ached, and his body was wracked with constant shakes.

Kurt helped as much as he could but Blaine knew this was something he had to do on his own. After so many years he had thought he had beaten this but now he realized that his addiction was always creeping in the background. The physical pain he felt now was nothing compared to how he felt when Benji walked out the door. 

As soon as the phone rang he scrambled for it and held it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hi dad,” Benji’s voice made him grin widely.

“Hey buddy,” his voice was hoarse and rough. “How are you feeling?”

“Really good! Uncle Cooper makes a good nurse,” Benji chuckled. “Although we’ve watched Zoolander like fifteen times. How are you?”

“Oh I’m great!” And he really was right now. Hearing his son’s voice for the first time in five days was the happiest he had been in a long time. “Your papa has been babying me like crazy but I’m so much better.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Benji said softly. “I worry about you, you know?”

“Last time I checked, I was the dad,” Blaine said teasingly, feeling tears gather in his eyes. “I’m okay though…. I’ll be okay.”

“I miss you,” Benji sounded so much like the little boy Blaine remembered. “And…I’m not mad at you. I just want you to get better because I love you so much.”

“I will,” Blaine’s voice cracked and he pressed a hand to his mouth for a moment.

“I know you will. I’m so proud of you dad,” tears streamed down Blaine’s face and he nodded, not trusting himself to speak. “I can’t wait to see you next week.”

“Me neither. I love you so, so much,” Blaine whispered, hand tightening on the phone. 

“I love you too daddy.”


	70. Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by Thequeenofgleeks: Can you write more fics about Benji’s self-harm? Like, Blaine taking him to therapy, and they talk about his appointment?
> 
> Prompt: Can you do a fic about Wendy/Benji’s friendship? DrugAddict!Wendy Self-Harmer!Benji

His arm itched. Benji’s bitten nails lightly scraped over the scabs again and again and he stared at the stupid painting of the sailboat on the wall. He knew part of therapy was talking but what was he supposed to talk about?

Dr. Talbot was a lovely woman, all wide eyes and bright smiles. She was very sweet but Benji didn’t really want to spill his deepest, darkest secrets to a woman who had a collection of ceramic frogs on her desk. It was only his third session, the first one that he had been allowed to drive himself to, and he hadn’t said a word. 

“So, Benji,” she said slowly after a pause. “Is your arm hurting you?”

“It’s just itchy,” he mumbled, rubbing at his arm again.

“Sometimes the healing is more noticeable than the injury huh?” Her smile grew softer and his eyes flicked towards her. 

“I guess,” he shrugged. 

“And how does that make you feel?” 

How did it make him feel? It wasn’t the act of self-harming that he was ashamed of; it was the fact that his father saw him doing it. The itching just reminded him that he wasn’t able to do it again. 

“Like I want to keep doing it,” he let out in a huff and Dr. Talbot nodded. “But I can’t because my dads will be disappointed. It was helping though! I don’t understand why they’re so upset.”

“Your father was a drug addict, at the time he felt like the drugs were helping. What would you say if he said that he wanted to start doing drugs again?” She watched him as he sputtered for a moment.

“I’d say that it was incredibly stupid! He could overdose or hurt himself or…oh I see,” he shrunk down a little in his chair as she nodded. “I have a system though. I’m not going to cut too deep. I have it under control.” 

“Tell me about that.”

Then he talked until he went hoarse. It was so freeing to finally just talk, talk, talk and not have to worry about people thinking anything about him. As he ranted, the itching became less noticeable and he just let himself feel. He laughed at some memories and cried at others. When the hour was up he was actually surprised and a little sad as he made an appointment for the next week. 

The door clicked behind him as he stepped out into the bright lobby, giving the receptionist a small smile. Just as he was about to walk out the door, someone grabbed his shoulder.

“Hey there!” Benji spun around to see a wide smile and dark hair. “Blaine right?”

“Oh, Blaine’s my dad. I’m Benji,” he gave her a little smile and she nodded quickly. “You’re Wendy right? We met at that meeting?”

“Yup! Just here for my required therapy as part of my rehab,” Benji glanced around the room to see that they were alone and relaxed a little bit. Her smile faded a little and she looked concerned. “Are you…”

“Oh no,” Benji shook his head quickly and held up his arms. “I had a bit of trouble earlier.”

Wendy smiled and hooked her arm through his and steered him out of the house. “You should text your dad. Let’s get ice cream.”

They found themselves sitting in Benji’s car as they ate their ice cream. The ride had been quiet except for the radio playing softly but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Although their circumstances were different, it was kind of nice to be around someone who could understand part of what he was going through. 

“I mean…what the hell is control anyway?” Wendy finally said. “I thought the drugs helped me stay in control. Everything felt like it was spiraling and the drugs were holding it all together.”

“Right! It doesn’t even make sense,” he said through a mouthful of Rocky Road. “I thought it was helping but how can drugs and cutting really help? It only made things worse.”

“We could be hit by cars or the sun could explode. We were hurting ourselves to try to hold onto something that never existed. We don’t have control at all,” she shook her head. “And that thought used to scare the shit out of me. Life is crazy my friend. I just want to be clear headed enough to enjoy the ride.”

Benji found himself smiling as he walked through the front door. Within moments, his fathers jumped up from where they had been waiting in the living room. 

“It was a great session,” he felt so much lighter and he grinned at their relieved faces. 


	71. Toast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: I was wondering if you’d consider writing Louis finding Benji about to do something he’d regret (getting drunk, drugs, etc) and they talk about their dads. (Louis would be a lot older, right?)

Benji clenched his eyes closed tightly and let out a weak groan, his head pounding painfully. Every slight move caused another spike of pain to shoot through him and his stomach rolled. 

“Here’s some aspirin and water,” an unfamiliar voice made him freeze. “I also have some dry toast if you think you can keep it down.”

Slowly, Benji opened his eyes to find himself in an unfamiliar bed and staring up at an unfamiliar man. The man gave him a warm smile and held out the water glass and aspirin. Dumbly, Benji took them and swallowed them down before a horrible thought came to mind.

“Those weren’t like…roofies…right?” He asked hoarsely. 

“What? No!” The man laughed and shook his head. “Don’t you recognize me?”

Benji shook his head and glanced around the room again, heart rate picking up as he became more aware of his surroundings. Why the hell was he in a strange man’s bedroom?

“No I don’t.”

“That explains why you’re freaked. I’m Louis,” the man gave him a half smile. “Our dads were in rehab together.”

Benji let out a relieved sigh as recognition hit him like a truck. Louis was much older, in his thirties, but he still resembled the nervous teenager that had stayed with them for a week. His dads had kept in contact with the young man but Benji hadn’t heard much from him.

“What happened last night?” Benji groaned. “The last thing I remember was going out with some friends…”

“Well, I was out with my girlfriend and we found you with your buddies. You were pretty wasted and seemed pretty determined to take…something. It looked like pills of some kind,” Louis winced. “I didn’t want to overstep but they didn’t seem like the best of people and I thought you needed somewhere safe to be.”

Benji felt his neck grow red as he sipped at the water. He had just wanted to blow off some steam after midterms and he had hung out with the guys before. At twenty-one, it wasn’t like he hadn’t gotten drunk before. But the idea that he had almost taken drugs? That was scary.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. 

“No worries. The children of addicts stick together right?” Louis winked and sat on the end of the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” a familiar hot guilt filled Benji’s chest and he dropped his head in his hands. “Damn it.”

“What?”

“Do you ever feel like you can never let go? Like you’re scared that you’ll fall down the same path?” He mumbled into his hands. 

“All the time. I was terrified to drink because I knew that it was a trigger for my dad,” Louis frowned. “But, we’re adults. We can figure out how to be safe and responsible and still be…normal.”

“I didn’t mean to get that bad last night,” Benji scrubbed his hands through his hair. 

“I’m just glad I found you before something happened,” Louis said softly and Benji nodded.

Something terrible could have happened. He could have gotten hurt or…

“Me too. Thank you so much,” he gave Louis a small smile. “I was always so scared of disappointing my dads so when I went off to college I…went a little overboard.”

Louis gave him a look and they both found themselves grinning. “So you can make your own decisions. You can choose who you hang out with.”

They sat in silence for a bit as Benji nibbled on his toast. It could have easily been his father who had died. Blaine could have overdosed during his relapse and Benji could have found him dead on the bathroom floor. 

“Thank you for stopping me,” he whispered.

“No problem,” Louis smiled warmly. “And I won’t tell your dads. They don’t need to know what their son gets up to. Just…if you need any help give me a call.”

“I will,” Benji smiled back.

It was kind of isolating to be the child of a former addict. There were so few people he could talk to about what he was going through without judgment. Having someone who understood was exactly what Benji needed. 


	72. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: When Benji is 13/14 and he asks Blaine about the night he “wore a belt like a necklace” (Sequel to Belt)

Heart pounding, Benji jerked awake and a hand flew up to his throat. His breathing rasped painfully in his chest as he struggled to take in a breath.

Tears gathered in his eyes and he jumped out of bed, stumbling slightly before hurrying down the stairs. 

The memory of his father’s wide eyes as he tore the belt off of his neck made a wave of nausea rush through him. He could remember Blaine just picking him up and carrying him to his room, quietly reassuring him that everything was going to be okay.

What if he had been just a few minutes later? He would have walked in to find his father swaying from the…

No, don’t even think about it.

Benji pulled down a glass and filled it with water before gulping it down. He let out a long shaky breath and pressed his forehead against the cold fridge.

“What are you doing up?” The sound of Blaine’s voice made him jump. 

“I…I had a bad dream,” he whispered, feeling tears fill his eyes.

Blaine hurried over to him, eyes wide with worry, and wrapped him in a tight hug. Instantly, Benji broke down into sobs and clung to his father as he rocked him back and forth.

“You’re alright,” Blaine whispered, rubbing his back. 

“It was…it was about you tying a belt around your neck,” Benji breathed and Blaine stiffened a little. “It wasn’t just a dream, was it?”

“No,” Blaine sighed after a long moment. “It wasn’t.”

“Why would you do that?” Benji pulled back, trembling.

“I was struggling at the time. It was…a moment of weakness,” Blaine pursed his lips together and sighed. “I thought that if I weren’t around any more, things would be easier but I was wrong.”

“I’m glad you decided that,” Benji gave him a watery smile.

“You have no idea,” Blaine choked out a laugh. “I would have missed you growing up.”

Benji nodded slightly. “Do…do you ever think about doing it again?”

“No,” Blaine said quickly, taking his face in his hands. “I don’t want to leave you. I love you more than anything else in this entire world. I’m here to stay.”

Even imagining his life without his father was devastating. What could have made Blaine feel that way? Why did he ever think it was the right choice?

The questions were right on the tip of his tongue but he held them back. A scary darkness lingered in the back of Blaine’s eyes and Benji knew that whatever was happening at that time was horrible.

One day he knew that Blaine would tell him what happened. Until then, Benji just had to hope that whatever had happened was over now. 


	73. Amends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Could you write something similar to The Needle and the Damage Done, but with Blaine getting pregnant from one of the guys he sleeps with and that’s what makes him want to get clean and he becomes a fantastic father.

The soft beeping was the only thing keeping Cooper awake. His baby brother looked like he was dead, dark circles under his eyes and his face pale white. Just a few hours ago he was near death, just clinging on by a thread.

They both were.

Glancing over to the other monitor Cooper watched the heartbeat of the baby beeping steadily. Just a year ago his baby brother had been whispering to him over the phone about the cute boy he had met at school. Now, he was lying in bed near dead after a drug overdose and pregnant. 

What had happened?

Blaine groaned softly and opened his eyes, blinking slowly up at the ceiling. Dazed, he turned to him and stared for a few moments before trying to sit up. “What happened?”

“You overdosed,” Cooper said shortly, the anger he had been feeling gave way to exhaustion.

“Hmm,” Blaine raised his eyebrows and shivered. “I feel terrible.”

“You could have died.”

“I didn’t,” Blaine snapped back but he was missing that edge to his voice. “And I…what’s this?”

He had moved his hands down to the bands surrounding his stomach, the wires attached to the baby’s monitor. Clearly still dazed from the medication and lingering drugs in his system, Blaine couldn’t connect the dots. 

“It’s making sure that you didn’t kill your baby,” Cooper watched as Blaine whipped his head towards him. “Did you know you were pregnant?”

“You’re lying,” Blaine stared at him with huge eyes. 

“No,” Cooper shook his head. “The doctor said it was a miracle that you didn’t miscarry after the overdose.”

Blaine went dead pale and swayed slightly, placing a shaky hand on his stomach. “No, no, no. This isn’t happening.”

“Apparently you’re three months along. The drug use slowed the baby’s growth so you weren’t showing,” he slumped over in his chair as Blaine pressed a hand to his mouth, letting out a hoarse sob. 

“You’re lying,” he said hoarsely. 

“I’m sorry, no,” Cooper shook his head.

“Three months? I’ve been using and drinking and…oh my God,” Cooper could see the exact moment when the weight of the situation crashed over him. He doubled over and covered his face, sobbing. “Is the baby okay?”

“The doctors won’t really know what’s going on with the baby until it’s born,” he handed Blaine a small pile of pamphlets. “The doctor gave me this.”

“I’ll stop,” Blaine turned to him with wide eyes, trembling all over. “I’ll quit right now. I’ll never take any more or drink ever again.”

“You can’t just quit or you’ll lose the baby when you go through withdrawal. I’ve been talking to the doctor and she said that you can get on a methadone program.”

The pamphlets slid out of Blaine’s hands and he stared blankly at the babies smiling up at him from the pictures. “I took a hit almost every single day. I drank heavily. I…God what if I have an STD? That’ll get into the baby. What if I have HIV?”

“Hey,” Cooper reached across the bed to take his hands. “What’s done is done. What you can do now is make the right choice and take care of that child. If you slip up once that innocent baby might die or it will be take away as soon as it is born. Do you understand?”

Blaine nodded wildly. “I won’t mess up. I swear.”

Cooper had wanted his brother to quit this dangerous lifestyle. He didn’t want this.

—

After the initial freak out at the hospital, Blaine had been silent. He nodded and agreed to the methadone program and Carole promised that she would come over and check on him constantly. 

“I didn’t want this,” he finally whispered in the car on the way home. 

“I know,” Cooper sighed. 

As soon as he got home, he collapsed into bed and curled up into a tight ball. A baby. He had been pregnant for months and had never known. What could have happened to his baby in that amount of time? 

“I won’t ever hurt you again,” he whispered, clutching his stomach. 

—

One month later, he started to show. 

He had been vigilant with his methadone treatment, suffering through the nausea and aches that came as both a side effect from his treatment and pregnancy. The cravings and pains were lessened but not gone. 

And now his stomach was straining against his shirt. 

Blaine frowned at himself in the mirror, smoothing his constantly trembling hands over his stomach. He used to be proud of his stomach, loved how flat and toned it was, but now he loved the roundness. It meant that he hadn’t completely fucked up. 

“Hey Blaine?” Carole called out from outside of his room. “I brought your dosage.”

“Thanks,” he took one last glance at the mirror before opening the door and taking the pill from her, swallowing it down with a sip of water. 

“You look better,” she gave him a small smile and he returned it. “I’m so glad you did this instead of going cold turkey. It’ll take longer but it’s better for the baby.”

There was not one moment Blaine didn’t hate himself for what he had done.

“I’m achy and feel really sick a lot,” he finally said. “But I’ve been good.”

“I’m proud of you,” Carole smiled but a nervous look flashed through her eyes. “So…something came up and dinner and…Kurt is here.”

“What?” A thrill of panic rushed down his spine. 

“I’m sorry. He doesn’t know any of the details or what happened,” Carole held up her hands. “You don’t have to see him or tell him anything.”

“I think I need to,” Blaine clenched his hands into fists. He had been dreading telling Kurt. The absolute last thing he wanted was to see the disappointment in his eyes as he saw how far he had fallen. 

He had done this. He deserved to see this through. 

“I’ll send him up,” Carole smiled at him and squeezed his arm slightly. 

As soon as she left, Blaine spun around and nervously tried to fix his hair. He still looked too pale and he still looked too thin. The track marks stood out brilliantly against his arms and he really didn’t have time to grab a sweater.

“Blaine?” There was a nervous knock on his door and he sucked in a short breath. “Can…can I come in?”

“Yeah,” he said softly and the door opened. 

It was the first time they had seen each other in months and for a long moment they just stared into each other’s eyes. Kurt looked amazing. He was almost more beautiful than before, if that was possible, and it took Blaine’s breath away. 

Kurt’s clear blue eyes widened as he took him in and Blaine felt beyond self-conscious. Kurt had blossomed into this amazing person and he had spiraled into this. Then, Kurt’s eyes drifted to the clear bump at his stomach and he let out a gasp.

“Oh.”

“I messed up,” Blaine sobbed out. “I messed up so bad.”

It was like no time had passed at all. Kurt moved forward and quickly pulled him into his arms, steering him towards the bed so they could sit down. He gently rubbed Blaine’s back and made a small noise as he trailed fingers down his marked arms. 

“You’re okay,” Kurt whispered into his ear. 

“I’m four months along and I could have killed the baby. I was shooting up multiple times and day and I drank all the time,” he doubled over with his sobs and felt Kurt stiffen. “The baby could be messed up or hurt or…”

“Hey, slow down,” Kurt rocked him back and forth. “How long have you been…doing it?”

“Since we broke up,” he said in a soft voice and Kurt made a wounded noise. “I was hurting so bad and it…it stopped the pain.”

Kurt sat silently next to him and Blaine couldn’t stand to open his eyes and see how much his ex hated him. Then, surprisingly, he felt gentle lips press against the top of his head. Kurt was trembling slightly all over and soft sobs burst from his mouth. 

“I don’t even know who the dad is,” he breathed. “I mean…it could be one of…”

“That’s not important,” Kurt mumbled. “You’re safe now.”

“The baby isn’t.”

There was a time when Kurt knew all his secrets and knew exactly what he needed to say to make things better. There was a time when Kurt knew him better than he knew himself. Now, he was the junkie pregnant whore.

“What are you going to do?” Kurt asked, pulling back slightly. 

“I have no idea,” Blaine placed a hand on his stomach. “I think this baby is giving me a second chance though. If I can, I want to keep it. The baby deserves someone to take care of it.”

“What happened to my Blaine who drank juice boxes and read Goosebumps?” Kurt said softly, eyes gentle and sad. 

“He’s gone,” Blaine shook his head and Kurt nodded. 

—

“I used to think this would be our life,” Blaine mumbled into the phone, stroking his stomach that was much larger at six months.

“Blaine, I don’t know if I can have this conversation,” Kurt sighed and he closed his eyes. “Your my best friend and I…we can’t talk about that.”

“I thought about us getting married. We would move into a beautiful little house in New York and after a few years we would have kids,” tears burned in his eyes. “I messed all that up.”

“We both made mistakes,” Kurt said softly. 

“And I have to live with mine. I wish…I wish this could all go back to how it used to be. I wish we could go back to our old lives when we were happy together.”

“I’m not ready to get back together,” Kurt sounded apologetic. 

“Me neither. I need to get my life back on track and I need to be a father to my kid first,” Blaine opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Thank you for this though. I need my best friend.”

“You always have me,” Kurt said warmly. 

“Tell me about New York,” Blaine grinned.

—

He went into labor two weeks early. 

It started with painful twinges across his stomach and back and then his water broke. Cooper, who had been watching him like a hawk for weeks, rushed him off to the hospital. 

Blaine wasn’t stupid. He was in pain but saw the judgmental glares the nurses and doctors gave him after seeing his track mark scars. He had made this bed, he had to lie in it. 

“Did you call mom and dad?” He choked out through a contraction and Cooper nodded, jaw tightening. “And they’re not coming, right?”

“I’m sorry Blaine.”

“I need to call Kurt,” he tried to turn over to grab his cell phone and groaned at the stretch. “Can I just…”

“I’ll wait outside. Keep the call short, it won’t be long,” Cooper gave him a warm smile and Blaine was suddenly filled with gratitude for his older brother. 

Blaine’s heart was in his throat as the phone rang and he sighed when he heard Kurt’s voice. “I’m in labor.”

“Isn’t it early?” Kurt sounded panicked. 

“Yeah,” tears filled his eyes. “I’m so scared Kurt.”

“You’ve got this,” Kurt said, making Blaine smile tearfully. “You are so strong Blaine. You’re going to be an amazing father…I’ve always thought that.”

His chest tightened and shakily, Blaine wiped his hands across his eyes. Another painful contraction ripped through him and Blaine let out a long groan, grinding his teeth together. After this was all done, he could really get off of the drugs for good. His child wouldn’t know their father as a drug addict. 

“Are you alright?”

“I should go, I think it’s going to be soon,” he panted. “But…will you visit?”

“Of course! You better call me as soon as you can! I want to get as many baby pictures as I can,” Kurt’s bright voice made him smile. “It’s all going to be okay.”

Those words echoed in his ears as the baby came. Clutching his brother’s hand, Blaine sobbed and gasped his way through labor without drugs. It hurt terribly and for one terrible moment, Blaine didn’t think he could do it. 

Then as a rush, the baby came out and…nothing. No crying, no screaming, nothing. 

“What’s wrong?” Blaine struggled to sit up and saw a flash of a too small baby. “Is the baby okay?”

“They’re checking on your son,” one of the nurses said and Cooper clutched his hand. 

“His…his name is Benjamin…Benji,” Blaine whispered and the nurse gave him a small smile. “What’s wrong?”

Another team of doctors surrounded the bed and they were all speaking softly to each other before rushing out of the room with the baby. Blaine couldn’t catch his breath; feeling like his world was collapsing in on itself.

“Please, what’s happening?” He choked out and a doctor paused. 

“The ba…Benji wasn’t breathing. He’s also much smaller than expected and the doctors think he might have a heart defect based on his coloring,” the doctor paused when Blaine covered his face, sobbing. “They’re going to do everything they can.”

“Is all of that my fault?” Blaine breathed and the doctor’s shoulders slumped a little. 

“We are going to do everything we can to help your son,” he responded and Blaine curled up into a ball, choking on his sobs and the pain racing through his body. 

His son was born and was suffering because of some bad choices he had made. His son could be dying or permanently disabled all because he cared more about his own pleasure than realizing that something was happening with him. 

For the first time in a long time, he prayed. He prayed for the chance to make amends for what he had done and to be a father to his child. 


	74. Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Needle and the Damage Done Prompt: Sam hates himself for not being able to help Blaine before it was too late. *Queue angsty Blam convo*

Blaine looked  _so, so_ good. 

Sam could still remember how he looked before he went off to rehab and it was terrifying. He had lost a lot of weight, had dark circles under his eyes and shook constantly. When he came back he looked even better than he ever had. 

It just made Sam’s heart sink. 

If he had just looked a little harder, seen the signs, then he might have stopped this all from happening. Blaine had been his best friend and he had abandoned him in his time of need. 

“Um…Blaine?” He said softly, making Blaine glance up and smile at him as he put his things in his backpack. “Can we talk?”

“Sure!” He stood and pulled his backpack over one shoulder. 

Now what? What was the plan? He had already apologized and things had not gone back to how it was. He hardly even recognized the young man next to him. Gone was the Blaine who wore bow ties and slicked back his hair. Gone was the Blaine who clung to others trying to find recognition. 

“I’m sorry for not helping you,” he finally sighed and Blaine’s face softened. 

“I didn’t want help,” Blaine shrugged. 

“Why not? If you had just…I would have helped you,” Sam turned to face him and Blaine smile slightly. 

“It’s hard to explain,” Blaine crammed his hands into his pockets. “I felt like I deserved what I got, I knew I did. After what I did to Kurt I just wanted to hurt myself.”

“I-“

“You couldn’t have helped. I’m sorry but I really didn’t want help.”

“Why did you stop then?” Sam frowned as something dark flickered over his eyes. 

“Honestly? I stopped because I was forced to,” Blaine shrugged, glancing around the empty hall. “If Sebastian and Dave hadn’t seen me…who knows what could have happened. I could have overdosed, could have been picked up by the wrong guy, or could have stumbled out into the street. It wouldn’t have taken long and I would have died.”

Something twisted painfully in Sam’s chest and he felt tears fill his eyes. “I’m sorry I never helped.”

“It’s okay,” Blaine reached up and squeezed his arm. “Honestly Sam, it’s okay.”

“I promise that I’m here okay?” Sam pulled the shorter boy into a tight hug. “And I’m still your friend. I’m here if you need me so don’t be afraid to ask.”

Blaine relaxed into his arms and Sam swallowed around the lump in his throat. Maybe he hadn’t done enough but they got lucky. In a million other scenarios he would have attended his friend’s funeral and wondered  _what if_. Now he had to stop wondering. He just had to be there. 


	75. Choke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Can you write a version of “Belt” in which Benji was a teenager when he found his father about to hang himself? (more focused on the Blaine-Benji relationship, of course)

Benji stretched slightly, wincing as his side burned. The guys in action movies bounced back from bullet wounds so quickly and after a week he still needed help going to the bathroom sometimes. 

He could cross stunt man off of his career list. 

“Hey dad?” He called out, struggling to sit up. “Dad? Can you grab me some orange juice?”

When no one responded, Benji grumbled to himself and got up to his feet. His dad had been a little flaky for a few days but this was ridiculous. He held onto the stair railing tightly and started walking down the stairs. 

“Dad?” He called out and frowned. “Hey!”

No answer. 

A small flicker of fear sparked in his mind and he tried to hurry up his steps, ignoring the pain flashing through his side. Was his dad napping? He had been stressed and overwhelmed lately.

“Dad?” He pushed open the bedroom door and his mind went blank.

His father had dragged a chair from their dining room into the bedroom and was standing on it. A simple black belt was wrapped tightly around his neck and he was staring up at the fan where the other end was tied. 

Benji let out a scream and his father jumped, slipping slightly off of the chair. For one terrifying moment, Blaine dangled from the belt before Benji was able to dive forward and wrap his arms around his legs. 

Trembling all over, Benji lifted him enough for Blaine to clumsily untie himself before they both crashed to the floor. 

“Oh my God, oh my God,” Blaine wheezed out, one hand wrapped around his throat as he struggled to sit up.

Benji was almost numb from adrenaline, tears streaming down his cheeks. It wasn’t until his father’s panicked eyes locked on his side that he realized that his stitches had torn.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine sobbed out and Benji was able to glance around the room. His eyes landed on a folded note and a small baggie of powder.

“You’re using again,” he whispered and Blaine shut his eyes in shame. 

“I’m so sorry,” Blaine’s voice cracked. “I am so, so sorry.”

Benji didn’t know what else to do but cry. 


	76. Comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Hey, I was wondering if you’d feel comfortable writing a story where Benji is either mtf or non-binary gender?

His fingers trembled as he looked through the racks of clothing. How was it fair that the women’s section had a million more colors and designs than the men’s section? How was anyone ever supposed to decide on anything?

“This color would look great on you,” Kurt held up a red patterned skirt and Benji felt his heart rate pick up. 

When he had come out to his dads he was been terrified. It was one thing to come out about his sexuality, he knew his parents would be supportive of whatever sexuality he was, but coming out about his gender was a million times scarier. 

_I’m a boy sometimes and I’m a girl sometimes. Sometimes I’m neither and sometimes I’m both._

They had been confused, how could they understand something that he couldn’t really understand himself. The next morning he came downstairs and found his dads at the coffee table surrounded by papers. 

_What do you want us to call you?_

_Would you like to go by male pronouns, female pronouns or non-gender pronouns?_

_Do you want to talk about surgeries?_

And he had burst into sobs. They were accepting, more than happy to help make him comfortable. 

_Call me Benji._

_I want to be called by male pronouns when I feel male and female pronouns when I feel female._

_I don’t want a surgery._

_Thank you._

He had trembled the entire way to the mall as Kurt rambled on an on about the different styles of clothing he was going to have to try. 

“I just want a skirt,” Benji had shrugged and Kurt gave him a warm smile. 

“It’s going to be the most amazing skirt we can find,” he grinned. 

This still felt a little forbidden, like any moment someone was going to burst into the changing room and call him a freak. He stared down at the skirt in his hands and took a deep breath. 

Benji knew he could feel about himself however he wanted. If he was a boy than he was a boy. If she was a girl than she was a girl. He could be neither and he could be both. No one had the right to put him into a box.

As soon as she put on the skirt and smoothed it out she smiled. Finally she felt right. She felt like she had the permission to move from gender to gender whenever she wanted. 

Gender was a sliding scale and she could move up and down it as she pleased. 

Benji stepped out of the changing room and smiled shyly at her dads who beamed. 

“You look beautiful,” Kurt whispered and Blaine nodded. 

“You just look…comfortable,” Blaine grinned and pulled her into a hug.

She was.


	77. Slope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Hi! I’d like to prompt you for a Needle and the Damage Done drabble! I’m not sure if you’ve seen or maybe thought about doing this before, but could you write about after Blaine’s relapse and he experiences withdrawal? With Kurt and Cooper trying their best to help him through it? ANOTHER PROMPT: An AU where after Blaine relaspes, the problem doesn’t get fixed automatically. He gets to a dangerous place again. LOVE YOU WORK! :)

It had been three weeks since he had last seen his husband or his son. 

Blaine felt the tremors racing through his body with each breath. The needle was gripped tightly in his hand and he stared down at it. All he had to do was slide it into the vein and he wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t care about Kurt or Benji. 

But now, before that moment of bliss he was trapped in horrifying sobriety. Blaine remembered the way Kurt had looked at him sadly as he took both his and Benji’s suitcases and left for Rachel’s house.

_I love you Blaine but our son can’t be around this. I can’t be around this. I’ll be by to visit but you need to decide. The drugs or us._

That had been three weeks ago and he had thought the decision would be easier. 

“Can I have the needle?” He jumped and looked up into his brother’s kind eyes. When he was younger he had been so angry. Now, he just felt an overwhelming sadness. 

“No,” Blaine shook his head and Cooper sank down next to him on the floor. 

Blaine choked out a sob and covered his eyes with his hands, gripping the needle tighter. What he was doing was tearing his family apart. What he was doing was destroying everything he had worked so hard for. 

“Benji’s doing well. He’s been going to physical therapy and the doctors took off all the bandages,” Cooper said softly, stretching his legs out. “Kurt’s been working hard and they both miss you.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine’s voice cracked. 

“Me too,” Cooper lightly squeezed his leg. “We gave up everything to get you better. You worked so damn hard and it is killing me to see you like this.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Then give me the needle,” Cooper held out a hand again and Blaine was struck by another thrill of fear. 

It was funny how something so damaging could make him feel somewhat in control.

“I’m not ready Cooper,” he breathed. “Just…”

“A little longer? Kurt and Benji are ready for you to come home,” Cooper’s hand stayed held out. “You can make a choice to stay here alone with the drugs or to go to rehab and go back to your family.”

“I…I fucked up. You all worked so hard and I fucked up,” tears ran down his cheeks. 

“We’re family. We help pick you up when you fall. You’ve done this once and you can do it again,” Cooper whispered and Blaine closed his eyes tightly. “No one is angry and no one hates you for what you did. Kurt wants his husband back, Benji wants his father back and I want my brother back.”

Blaine sat silent for a long moment before he handed Cooper the needle. “I’ll do better this time.”

“You have a lot to live for this time,” Cooper held the needle tightly. “I’ve been in contact with a few places and will let them know that they can expect you.”

Blaine closed his eyes tightly and squeezed his hands together. This would be the second time he had to restart his life and it terrified him. This time if he failed he would let down a lot more people, he had so much more to lose.

But if it meant getting back Kurt and Benji, it was worth it. 


	78. Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by bookworm-ale: Hey! a drabble for the needle verse, do you have something about Kurt meeting Paul, that guy who wanted to help Blaine?

Blaine had told Kurt everything. He sat next to his boyfriend as he sobbed through all the details and every word was seared into his brain. For hours Blaine told him everything that he had done and all the people who had hurt him but it felt so good to finally have it all out in the open. 

He still thought about it, the words whispering in the back of his mind as he walked around Lima during Thanksgiving break. Had any of the men hurt his boyfriend? Had he gotten high at any of the corners they passed?

The grocery store was packed even though Thanksgiving was still two days away. Normally Kurt would take crowded stores as a challenge but all he wanted to do was curl up in front of the fire and watch TV with his family, Blaine and Cooper. 

“Of course they’re out of yams,” a man mumbled near him and Kurt glanced over. He wasn’t an attractive man, wearing slacks and a polo with a nametag from a nearby car dealership. He reached up to wipe the sweat beading on his receding hairline. 

“Isn’t that the way it works?” Kurt replied, grabbing a few cans of corn. 

“And they say Thanksgiving is the best time of the year,” the man sighed. “You at least look like you have some family to go home to.”

“Yeah,” Kurt nodded, feeling a little bad for the man. “My parents, boyfriend and his brother.”

The man paused and then smiled. “Good, family is important.”

Kurt’s eyes drifted down to his nametag, Paul. “No family for you?”

“The wife left and I…haven’t been so lucky to find myself a boyfriend,” Paul blushed a little and Kurt smiled. 

“It’ll happen,” he said softly and the man perked up. 

“Tell me about your boyfriend,” Paul said excitedly before pausing. “Sorry, you probably just want to go home. There just aren’t many people I can talk to here.”

“No I totally understand,” Kurt laughed. “He’s wonderful. We’ve had our struggles but he’s the man I’m going to marry some day. Blaine is strong and so brave.”

Paul’s smile faded slightly and his eyebrows furrowed. “Blaine? He’s got dark curly hair and hazel eyes? Beautiful singing voice?”

Unease filled Kurt’s stomach and he nodded. “Yeah.”

Paul was someone I met in Scandals. He had just gotten divorced and…those were the guys I usually went for. They were always nicer and far easier to steal from. I was high and sang for him after we had sex and he asked me if he could help me. He wanted me to get clean and…I’m not sure what he wanted. I think he just wanted me to stay with him.

“I know who you are,” Kurt said slowly and Paul’s beady eyes widened. “You’re the guy who slept with a high underage kid.”

Paul hesitated before nodding. “Yeah, I did. I don’t have a good excuse for what I did; I know it’s wrong. I knew he was high and that he was underage. I never should have looked at him, much less touched him.”

“So why did you?”

“You must know how…there’s something about him. I just wanted to experience what it would be like,” Paul’s eyes were sad. “He told me that I only wanted to help him to make him a kept boy and that’s not true. I saw how talented he was, all the potential and it killed me that I had helped him destroy himself. I just wanted to help.”

“It’s not an excuse,” Kurt snapped and Paul shook his head. 

“No it’s not and I still hate myself for it,” Paul looked at him sadly. “Is he…and I have no right to ask, but is he okay?”

“He went through rehab and he’s a student at NYU, studying music education,” Kurt said softly and Paul smiled. 

“I thought about him a lot, praying that he wasn’t dead in a ditch or in some crack den or something,” he shook his head. “I’m so glad that he’s okay and has someone who loves him. Mistakes are made and he deserved a second chance.”

“He does.”

Paul fidgeted. “Tell him I’m sorry. Tell him that I wish him all the best.”

“I will,” Kurt nodded and Paul gave him a tiny smile before slipping around him and walking down the aisle. 

Tears instantly flooded Kurt’s eyes and he took a few deep breaths. In another world Blaine could have said yes. Blaine could have stayed manipulative and drugged up, using a man who wanted him to be better. He never would have seen him again and Blaine would have died alone and in pain. 

If he had said yes that night their life would be changed.

If Blaine hadn’t overdosed that one time their life would have been changed.

It was terrifying to think of all the maybes that could have happened. A tiny quiet voice in the back of his had reminded him that it was his breaking up with Blaine that led him on this path but he pushed past it. 

All their choices and mistakes led them here and Kurt could accept that. He had a boyfriend who loved him and their future looked beyond bright. They had struggled so hard to get where they were and he was proud of that. 

Every horrible thing that had happened were just cracks in the road to where they were going.


End file.
